7 Bizarre Historical Facts They Forgot to Teach You in School

History classes tend to focus on the serious stuff: wars, treaties, and who signed what declaration. But the past is full of bizarre, eyebrow-raising, laugh-out-loud moments that your teacher conveniently skipped. From confused rulers to overachieving animals, here are seven hysterical historical tidbits that prove truth really is stranger than fiction.

1. Napoleon Wasn’t That Short

“Big hat energy.”

Let’s clear this up: Napoleon Bonaparte was not a tiny tyrant. The “short Napoleon” myth likely comes from a mix-up in measurement systems. He was 5'6", which was average for a Frenchman of his time. Sure, he had a big ego and an even bigger hat, but the guy wasn’t hobbit-sized.

The real insult? His nickname, “The Little Corporal,” referred to his humble origins, not his height. Napoleon probably rolled over in his grave every time someone called him short.

2. A War Was Fought Over a Pastry

“Croissants, not casualties.”

In 1838, Mexico and France fought the Pastry War. It all started when a French baker in Mexico claimed Mexican soldiers looted his shop. When France demanded compensation, Mexico refused, and the French king sent warships. Yes, people died over éclairs and baguettes.

The war ended with Mexico agreeing to pay 600,000 pesos to the baker. Lesson learned: don’t mess with a Frenchman’s pastries.

3. Cleopatra Lived Closer to the iPhone Than the Pyramids

“Timelines are weird, right?”

Cleopatra VII, the last queen of Egypt, lived closer in time to the invention of the iPhone than to the construction of the Great Pyramid of Giza. The pyramid was built around 2560 BCE, while Cleopatra ruled in the first century BCE—about 2,500 years later. Meanwhile, the iPhone debuted just 2,000 years after her reign.

So the next time someone calls Cleopatra “ancient,” remind them she’s practically a millennial.

4. The Great Emu War of Australia

“Feathered fury.”

In 1932, Australia declared war on a flock of emus. Farmers, desperate to protect their crops, enlisted the military to deal with the giant birds. Armed with machine guns, soldiers went into battle, but the emus were too fast, too agile, and too organized.

After weeks of skirmishes, the emus emerged victorious. Australia’s military officially lost to a bunch of overgrown, flightless birds.

5. Pope Gregory IX Hated Cats

“The original cat hater.”

In the 13th century, Pope Gregory IX declared cats to be agents of the devil. As a result, cat populations plummeted, especially in Europe. Ironically, this contributed to the spread of the Black Plague, since fewer cats meant more rats carrying infected fleas.

Moral of the story? Don’t mess with cats—they have nine lives and all the grudges.

6. A Chicken Was Knighted

“Sir Clucks-a-Lot.”

In 15th-century England, a rooster named Sir Goosefoot was knighted by a lord who believed the bird had mystical powers. This was either a serious case of superstition or the lord lost a bet.

The chicken lived a life of luxury, with its own coop inside the castle and a diet of gourmet grains. No word on whether it ever tried to overthrow the monarchy.

7. Thomas Edison Electrocuted an Elephant

“The dark side of the lightbulb.”

In a bid to prove his direct current (DC) electricity was safer than Nikola Tesla’s alternating current (AC), Thomas Edison resorted to shocking stunts—literally. In 1903, Edison arranged the public electrocution of an elephant named Topsy.

The event was intended as a warning against AC, but it mostly made Edison look like the villain in an early-1900s cartoon.

Parting Shot

History isn’t just about dates and treaties—it’s full of ridiculous, hilarious, and downright bizarre moments that remind us the past wasn’t all that different from today. So the next time someone calls history boring, just tell them about the emus, Cleopatra’s iPhone timeline, or Sir Clucks-a-Lot. And remember: no matter how wild life gets, at least we’re not fighting wars over pastries… yet.