Widowhood: A majority never remarry, but does this mean they kept their Widows' Virginity?

Widowhood statistics

Statistics indicate that only seven percent of widowed females remarry, and it happens within the first ten years after a spouse dies. One might think the statistics would be the other way around and that 93 percent of widows marry again rather than remaining single.

Some people pressure women to find another husband without understanding their dynamics. They use the phrase "moving on" but each day we live without our spouse, we are moving on, whether another man is in our lives or not. There are many reasons why widows remain single.

Widowhood is not one size fits all

If a woman says she will not date and remarry, her desire should be respected. During my journey as a widow, I have encountered women who said they need a man in their bed, and they miss sex. For others, like myself, we miss our spouses, so just any man won't do.

If you had a strong bond with your late husband and still have moments of hard grief years later, you are not alone. If you feel you have been doing great for months, and then some little thing triggers your grief, this is normal. Widows can share their experiences, but there is no playbook or one-size-fits-all.

Widows Virginity

While some women lose their widows virginity others never will. These women don't want random sex or a new spouse, but they miss the intimacy with their deceased husband, and it can never be replaced.

If that's you, stand strong in the skin you are in and don't let others talk you into behavior that is not your own choice. Several co-workers once told me that my husband was probably my only lover. He was, but I did not admit it because it was none of their business. One told me I needed to experience other men, and the other three agreed.

Had I listened to them, I would have committed adultery in the eyes of God. I am proud of my husband being my one and only, and you should stand up for your own choices, whatever they are.

The statistics were not detailed

The statistic about widows not remarrying will be beneficial for those who desire to take that stance. It's important not to allow anyone to pressure you into another relationship or marriage that you may later regret. The choice is yours.

Not remarrying does not indicate you are not moving on. It shows you had something so special that you know you could not replace it. Remember that 93 percent of widows don't remarry, so you are the majority.

No marriage, but there may be sex

Do keep in mind that the study did not say if all of the women in the statistics remained celibate, with their Widows' Virginity intact. The results only revealed that they did not marry again.

We can assume these women did not have intimate relations again, but that issue was not specifically addressed. Some widows may have intimate relationships without the benefit of matrimony.

Widows be proud of your choice

Actress Betty White remained single for 40 years after her third husband, Allen Ludden, died in 1981. She said she had the best and would not settle for less. She may have remained celibate for four decades, but she did not discuss this in detail. All we know is that she never remarried.

I do know at least 25 widows in my city who say they have not been intimate with a man since their spouse died, so it happens. I feel blessed to be counted among them. Whatever choice you make as a widow, stand firm and be rpoud.