Unfrosted

At first glance Unfrosted seems like a cry for help from comedians that are so far past their prime they are just trying to stay relevant. After actually watching the film all the way through I can say with confidence that first impressions are strong and you should go with your gut. I had thought we all decided a while ago to stop putting Amy Schumer in movies, tv shows, on stage or anything else but here we are. Hugh Grant might be the only highlight of the film. I feel like this could have been an entertaining short film but a whole movie was a little overkill.

The entire film is framed like Seinfeld’s character is telling a young boy the story of the pop tart, god the whole premise of this film is ridiculous. No one asked for this. Is it possible to make a film without heavily relying on an existing brand? The success of Barbie is going to be the downfall of us all.

We are really watching Kellogg's vs Post trying to outdo each other with jam filled pastry…I need to know whose idea this was so I can smack them on the back of the head. This whole film is such a waste of time. And yes, all the comedians involved are officially not funny anymore. Not a single one of these jokes is landing.

This whole movie is really just a back and forth between he two companies. I really can’t even tell how many times we are attempting jokes, because just 0% of this movie is funny. It doesn’t really feel like they are trying. And who is getting nostalgic for cereal? This film really feels like a long shot. We are pulling all kinds of comedians for bit parts that mean nothing. There is really no part of this movie that is redeemable let alone remotely entertaining.

They made the milkmen like a mafia? Bitter and hostile about the development of a breakfast food that doesn’t involve milk. It feels like a subplot that is supposed to be funny, but it's just not.

Everything about this movie falls flat, even the performances from people who have been acting for decades feel really wooden. Like they all forgot how to be in front of the camera. I personally don’t think Melissa Mcarthy has been funny or remotely interesting since Gilmore Girls….I don’t think Bridesmaids is funny. None of these people have had success in so long, Unfrosted is definitely a last ditch effort to fix that. However it has definitely had the opposite effect. I am pretty sure that this film has sealed the fate of these comedians, it is time to coast off residuals guys because the time of caring about these guys is over.

Overall this movie, like almost everything Netflix has produced, is a waste of time. I am pretty sure Netflix is just a money laundering scheme at this point. They cancel every show that people love and want to see more of and they green light more seasons of stories that don’t need them. They are obviously out of touch with their audience and there is not a single person on the planet that wanted this movie or even cares about it. It is so forgettable and genuinely not worth your time. I would give it a very generous 2/10 just because it takes a deep hatred of the film for me to give it a 0. The 2 points it got comes completely from Hugh Grant, he is the only mildly entertaining part of the whole film and his role is so small.