The Most Romantic Thing about Before Sunrise

A love story is two people meeting and deciding to be together. The film 'Before Sunrise' is a little different. Two people meet on a train and decide to spend the day together. The film was released in 1995 and was directed by Richard Linklater. The film is a series of 3, and the two that follow are Before Sunset and Before Midnight.

I watched the film in 2013 when I was in year 12, which was the same year the third film was released. I was 17 and convinced that I would die alone and generally had a pessimistic view of love and relationships. One thing I loved was movies, and Richard Linklater became one of my favourite directors. I thought people entered relationships due to convenience and that perhaps love was a lie.

I recently re-watched the film as someone who has found love and been married for 4 years. I found that the most romantic part of the film is the start, and the least romantic part is the end. At this point, I should warn you that there will be spoilers ahead.

The film begins on a train, and in one of the train carriages, there is a middle aged couple arguing. The main characters, Jesse and Celine, look uncomfortable. There is also an elderly couple who don't bat an eye at the heated arguing, perhaps because they have probably been there before, and they seem to have a knowing expression that all will be well.

The awkwardness of witnessing the fighting sparks Jesse to ask Celine if she would like to accompany him to the dining cart. From there, they begin talking about deep and meaningful topics like childhood and love and end up having a lovely day together in Vienna.

I would like to focus on the couple arguing, though it may not seem romantic, it is. The heated argument is in German so the protagonists can't understand it. Celine is French, and Jesse is American. It sounds like the couple isn't new to this and has created a regular rhythm to their fighting, which I'm sure will end in reconciliation. The way the woman can fully express herself shows me that she feels safe to do so. When I first watched the film, I found the bickering uncomfortable, but now I see how important it is to air your grievances to your partner in a way that feels true to how you feel in the moment. If you're feeling angry, upset or hurt, you should be able to express yourself authentically. The difference between toxic fighting and healthy fighting is reconciliation. What tells me that this couple will reconcile is that they don't triangulate anyone in, and even though it is in public, it feels private, and they both are matching each other's energy.

It is easy to talk about love, which is what Celine and Jesse do during their time together in Vienna. It is much harder to navigate conflict and the logistics of everyday life. At one point in the film, they do talk about happy couples and how it must be a lie. I see love now as being truly seen, even at your worst and being able to express yourself without having to edit yourself.

Celine and Jesse's first fight occurs in the film when Jesse asks Celine if there is anything he does that bothers her. She admits that the way he reacted during a palm reading she received from a woman whilst they were sitting at a cafe bothered her. She says he seemed to be annoyed that he wasn't the centre of attention, and she didn't like the way he made fun of the palm reader, comparing her to a grifter. He also did the same thing when a poet offered to write a poem for both of them in exchange for money based on a word of their choosing. They chose the word milkshake. Jesse states that the poet probably has a standard poem he writes for everyone and then just enters the word they picked in the poem. Dealing with this cycncism would be maddening for anyone. They also see themselves very differently. Celine sees herself as an old woman on the brink of death, seeing her life as a memory, and Jesse sees himself as a young boy who is here to enjoy the party that is life. These two perspectives are conflictual and would probably make planning everyday life tasks difficult.

They go back and forth about meeting up again or not. In the end, they decide to meet in 6 months in Vienna without exchanging contact information. I believe Celine and Jesse avoided exchanging contact information to avoid conflict and to keep their relationship superficial. Only when you can reconcile after a conflict can you consider yourself to be in a loving relationship. The couple on the train at least could look at each other and declare their grievances.

The film is about two people meeting and almost having a happily ever after. Their plans to meet up again are flimsy, and it is probably because neither is ready for a serious relationship yet. Rarely are logistics talked about when it comes to love, but they do play a big part in the success of a relationship. Celine and Jesse live in two different countries, and coming up with plans to meet again would cause conflict. They were both travelling to different destinations when they first met. They believe that they are being adult and rational, but I see this as based in fear. They want to be in love but don't want to handle the conflict of a serious relationship. The most romantic thing they could have done was to stay in contact with one another to fight about the logistics of meeting up again.