(To be Read Top to Bottom and Bottom to Top)
If you love Seinfeld, then you will love its classical, semi-childish counterpart, Winnie the Pooh.
Did you just see a bright orange bear in a mono-color red t-shirt roll by?
Was he followed by a maniacal tiger?
Was that a bipolar, slightly depressed ass?
Who is that flamboyant piglet and why is he high as a kite?
And did we mention Christopher Robin? The rarely seen, but often remembered fiend and his penchant for psychological warfare against Pooh, his lifetime nemesis and metaphorical super-ego? He haunts the fields and woods, always watching, always imposing his sense of self-entitlement with a brutish “Hello, Pooh.”
Sometimes, the strangest events happen in the Hundred Acre Woods, and to be quite honest, we’re starting to sense déjà vu.
In the dark hollow, beneath a tall oak there is a small door. It is likely too small for a bear of normal size, and perhaps too small for this bear as well. His portly physique, we will call it "fluffy", and diminutive stature imply a passivity that is reciprocated in his lackadaisical speech patterns. He is frequently assailed by surprise, gregarious, and often manic guests of whom we have no doubt that powdered mushrooms and a swift lick of a poisonous toad form the basis for their daily dietary regimen.
Pooh is in pursuit of his "Honey", a simple physiological need that motivates his decisions, and shall we venture, his libido, into slapstick and often dangerous scenarios. Does he brave the highest trees in search of his treasure, risking life and limb and the occasional sting to plunder the nests of an unattainable queen? Yes, quite honestly, every single time, yes.
The other characters are at best stereotypical fluff, and at worst, a waking nightmare of animated proportions as they lie, steal, trick, and flail their way through formulaic problems, sudden crises, and slapstick follies.
Life in the Hundred Acre Woods is simple: Arise, assess, engage, retreat.
(The Intersect)
Life at 129 W. 81st St, Apt 5A is simple: Arise, assess, engage retreat.
The other characters are at best prototypical frenemies, and at worst, a waking nightmare of middle-aged proportions as they lie, steal, trick and flail their way through middle class, urbanite problems, relationship crises, and slapstick follies.
Seinfeld is in pursuit of a "Honey", a simple physiological need that motivates his decisions, and shall we venture, his libido, into slapstick and often dangerous scenarios. Does he brave the seediest alleyways and back-street cafes in search of his treasure, risking life and limb and the occasional sting to plunder the favor of an unattainable queen? Yes, quite honestly, every single time, yes.
Behind the lavender door in a bachelor pad wrought with austerity, lurks a voracious sexual predator. His appetite for New York's finest debutantes is legendary, and contrary to his unkempt hair and unathletic physique, conquests abound. His brutish, high-pitched caterwauling keeps neighbors on edge, and he is frequently assailed by surprise, gregarious, and often manic guests. Their persistence and rampaging stutter-step across the hearth is indicative of a self-loathing addiction that only their enabler, Jerry and his oppressive sense of entitlement and expertise can cure with dismissive, off-the cuff humor and witty dissections of severe, real-life shortcomings.
Sometimes the strangest events happen at W. 81st St, and to be honest, we’re starting to sense a derivative formula, a tale of nothing?
And did we mention Newman? The rarely seen, but often remembered fiend and his penchant for psychological warfare against Jerry, his lifetime nemesis and metaphorical super-ego? He haunts the halls of W. 81st St, always watching, always imposing with a brutish “Hello, Jerry.”
Who is that tumbleweed-headed co-dependent, and why does she reek of morning after regret?
Was that a bipolar, slightly depressed balding ass?
Was he followed by a sociopathic maniac with pipe-cleaner hair?
Did you just see that sweater-vested, mono-color bachelor roll by?
If you love Winnie the Pooh, then you will love its semi-modern, semi-adult reinvention, Seinfeld.
(Then in Reverse)
About the Creator
Aaron Steele
As a novelist, Aaron seeks to capture the frailty of the human spirit and the power and unpredictability of nature. Inspired by the sway of the hammock and warm crash of the Floridian waves his ideas flow from daydream to page. #pinebluff
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