Today we watched The Beekeeper and honestly when I first saw the trailer for this movie I knew it was going to be just another stupid action movie. But we had to go for it anyway. Jason Statham is the action movie front man. Now we know that action is not normally my genre, I find the films to be very shallow with no real plot. And there have been only 2 films that combated that idea. The Beekeeper is not one of them. That said, as the bar is so low for action movies, did this movie at least deliver a good time? Well, let's get into it.
If you are telling me that the premise of this movie is that Jason Stathom goes on a revenge quest to get back this sweet old lady's money then I am fully on board. HOLY SHIT. It’s so much worse, this poor old lady killed herself. The revenge quest is for her life. Wow. That’s a pretty brutal way to start a movie.
God Jason Statham is such a bad actor. He has this whole little monologue about hurting elderly people and the delivery is just so contrived. It's so terrible. This whole film really is about him going super secret special agent because of this old lady.
So apparently this scam ring is a whole business that Josh Hutcherson is in charge of. And Jason Statham is now coming for the top. So Joshy is gonna die. Josh’s character's overseer was once head of the CIA and apparently Beekeepers were a sort of special forces unit.
The other aspect to this movie is the old lady’s daughter, she is FBI. She is also chasing down the call center that led to her mothers death. She is hungover and working in her day off, this of course is how cops operate once you fuck with their families.
The beekeeper sent to take care of Jason Statham is a mohawked, punked out woman who he promptly lights on fire. It has also been well established by the many lines of dialogue that if a Beekeeper wants to kill someone they will.
This is approximately where I sped the movie up, which I only do when a movie is really bad but in order to do a formal review I need to see the film all the way through.
So Jason Statham is taking down this call center scam ring and the FBI is trying to stop him and them? It’s a weird dynamic. Like why do we care that he is killing people? They’re all bad people. And they also want to catch the bad people, so why aren’t we just letting him clean up?
God there is just no realism in action movies is there? Even fantasy and science fiction are generally tied to universal human emotions or thoughts, but action movies? Nope. It’s super realistic that 1 dude, regardless of how trained he is, takes out like 8 FBI agents and over a dozen special unit CIA agents…Mkay. And the main criminals mom is the president?
Overall the movie is terrible. Exactly what I expected from a Jason Statham movie. The plot was actually fine for approximately 5 minutes and then the movie kept going. Honestly if the movie didn’t try so hard I wouldn't have a problem. Like John Wick doesn’t pretend that there is a plot, he just kicks the shit out of bad guys for two hours. But The Beekeeper tried to have a plot and that was in fact the problem. 2/10 at most, probably the lowest I’ve ranked something this year, but here we are.
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Alexandrea Callaghan
Certified nerd, super geek and very proud fangirl.
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