Rachel Reviews: Adolescence (2025)

*I started writing this some time ago. Life temporarily distracted me and time passed. I'd written too much of it to let it languish here unread but please bear in mind that the Emmys were held in September. I liked my intro too much to alter it considerably.

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It is timely that I finished watching Adolescence just as it did really well at the Emmys the other night. I'm not usually this on trend. The only reason I had a Netflix subscription was to watch Happy Gilmore 2. I probably won't renew it so knowing that it will soon end has made me look to see what the streaming service might have other than Adam Sandler's reprised role of the-hockey-player-with-anger-issues-turning-golf-pro. It was highly enjoyable, Happy Gilmore, by the way. Very funny and ludicrous as you'd predict.

In fact, could there be two more disparate Netflix productions to mention in the same article? Possibly not.

Because having now watched Adolescence, I can confirm that there is nothing humorous about it at all. It is not a light watch.

"Adolescence" - what's it about?

It is a story of our times. The rise of the online presence which dominates our every day life is key to this drama in its many forms: TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, influencers - all have reference made to them. But it is social media's influence on our teenagers and in this case, a male schoolboy, on which this drama is framed and this series is a metaphorical sharp punch in the gut to parents everywhere to be aware of what's going on in your kid's life.

Easier said than done.

I don't want to give away too many spoilers here if you're thinking of watching it but in order to approach some of the issues which are proposed in this drama, I need to give some outline of the plot and the action.

Jamie is a 13 year old boy who is accused of doing a crime. The first episode starts explosively with a house raid, early in the morning, the action centring on the police leading the raid. At first, the two officers are sitting in their car as they prepare for it but then the signal comes to raid and the calm of their conversation evaporates as they burst into a small family home on a respectable estate.

It is starkly filmed, the surprise and shock of the house's inhabitants clear for us to see and immediately, you wonder what could have happened. The boy that the police are seeking is in bed asleep and startled by their sudden appearance. He is also scared and this is clearly manifested when he steps out from under his bed covers, his pyjamas displaying a patch of wetness.

The two police detectives are followed by us as they conduct their investigation in the interview room and when they go into the school to talk with Jamie's peers. Quite quickly, the truth is uncovered and then we are transported elsewhere to find out how this point was reached: what were the influences, the stressors, the pressures that caused a 13 year old boy to commit an act of extreme violence.

Controlling the influences

Phones. Social media. Influencers.

As parents, we live in a world where the minds of our young people are easily accessible from outside sources. When I was a kid, it was TV that was the menace, and literature. There was a degree of control in this from a parental point of view - Mum could prevent me from watching something on the TV as it was out in the open in a room that we all shared and while I could have smuggled books in to read, I'd have had to have been more surreptitious about reading them as they are more obvious than a phone. There was no such thing as social media and if I wanted to talk to my friends, I'd have to ask my mum's permission and call them on the landline.

I'm not trying to go on a nostalgia trip or preach about "the good old days". I quite like the accessibility of phones in many ways. Like all things, they have their benefits but when it comes to infiltrating the minds of our young people, they can be a malignant presence.

If you are the parent of a young person, can you say, hand on heart, that you are fully aware of everything that they watch? That you know what all their messages say? That you know all the apps that they use?

I am relatively lucky in that I have what I hope are reasonably open relationships with my boys in that they can talk without prejudice to me about the things that trouble them. They share. I offer advice and try to get them to draw their own conclusions on what is right or wrong based on the value system that we try to live by - as a family, as a country, at school. It's not perfect because humanity isn't but what's important is that communication is there and discussion can be had.

But even I am not so naïve as to think that I know it all about what is going on in their lives and what they're exposed to. In some ways, I just have to hope that they are intelligent and sensitive enough to interpret things that they see and hear with a thoughtful and open mind, and that they keep the conversations going so alternate perspectives can be shown for clarity.

Do we really know our children?

And so, going back to Adolescence, one of the main focuses in the film is the relationship between the dad and his son. Jamie chooses his dad to be his appropriate adult when he is questioned by the police and this creates a sense that they are close.

However, it soon transpires that there is a lot that Eddie, Jamie's dad doesn't know about his son and this all unfolds during the series. It's a study in things breaking down: constructs that we form around us, the foundation of our belief in others, are eroded to dust as Eddie realises that his son has done something very bad and that he may have had his part to play in this happening. It is hard to watch and Stephen Graham plays the puzzled, beleaguered father really well as he tries to come to terms with the situation in which he finds himself. He veers between disbelief to anger to trying to be strong for his family and it is chaotic viewing at times as Eddie deals with his emotions (or not as the case may be).

Toxic Masculinity

It's tough to watch. It feels real. I know, as a mum and a teacher, how kids can be influenced. I know their concerns and their need to feel respected by their peers through the visible tangible things: where they've been to how they dress to how they smell. It's also about their wanting to not be the target of ridicule. With the rise of populist influences directly beamed into their consciousness through a palm-held device, it's easy to see how their perceptions can become warped.

The idea of "incel" and the toxic masculinity is something that particularly troubles me as a mother of boys. Andrew Tate to name but one.

Misogyny is rife. The idea that women should never refuse men is rife. The idea that women are there for the taking is rife. Before, as parents, we may have been able to shield our progeny, as I've mentioned before, but now? Unless I take the phone away from my son, as well as his laptop, and his friends with devices, and his awareness of the outside world, what hope do I have?

Well, I have my words and myself as a role model and the provision of a place to talk without judgement but I do feel sometimes like I'm up against it. And I'm aware of it. In Adolescence arguably, the parents are not and there is the suggestion that perhaps Eddie is not the best role model from behaviour that he displays throughout the series. See what you think when you watch it.

Incredible acting

There are two scenes from this programme that stick with me. One is actually a whole episode where Jamie is talking to a psychiatrist who has obviously been sent to form an independent assessment of him.

This is just two people in a room in a detention centre and it is intense. It is for the most part a conversation but it ebbs and flows in waves, veering between calm and controlled to verging on violent and threatening. It needs to be viewed to understand what I mean.

It frightened me.

The second scene is in a DIY store car park. It is similar in some ways to what I've described above although in this case, the action moves from a small conflict at home which results in a lull as the family journey to the store to out and out emotional spillage, an inevitable loss of control.

I'm not one for raging but the sympathy that I had for Eddie in those moments was strong, as he wrestles with the fact that everything that he's ever known has now dissipated in one act performed by someone he loves and how that one act has produced a legacy through which he will have to endure with the people who he loves most at his side.

It's heart-wrenching stuff. Very human and very relatable.

It's the sort of thing that I think every parent should watch whilst paradoxically being a series that it might be best to avoid. Personally, I would rather know what dangers there are out there for my children but even Adolescence made me want to turn away and remain in blissful ignorance.

A powerful drama indeed.