Photo Memories

Have you ever noticed that the more photos you have on your hard drive, the less you want to organize and store them properly? I've been saying for over a year that we needed to find another solution for photo storage. We used to have an online account where we uploaded and stored photos, but little did I know that when you no longer purchase prints, they end up deleting your photos too! We had copies, so no worries.

I woke up today and decided this was the day I was going to do something about my photos. And yes, I know. I probably should have done this before now. Anyhow, I checked myself into hotel "Photoshop Elements" and decided to camp for a while. It's been 3 hours, and I'm nearly finished! Three DVDs, proudly labeled "My Catalog 2004", "My Catalog 2005", and "My Catalog 2006" are neatly tucked away in their protective cases and ready to be taken to the lock box. That thing hasn't seen me or my key in over 2 years. So, I guess it's not a bad idea to take time to visit.

But I'm having a hard time realizing the last 4 years are stored on 3-5 DVDs. Really? Is it that simple? I wonder how many DVDs it would take to get my whole existence on file? And I wonder if there are people out there who think this is how God operates? Maybe there is an idea that because this is how we store information, then God does that too. We're categorical, historical, and logical thinkers. We even like color-coding! Ok, maybe that's just me!

I was once taught (as a child) that God was kind of this way too. The idea was that my whole life was going to be projected onto this huge screen for all to see. My good, bad, ugly, and everything inbetween! And I would feel incredibly remorseful for all the things I hadn't done correctly, or things I had missed in God's kingdom. My parents didn't teach this. It came from an evangelical pastor at my local church. As I think back, it's almost like I'm still sitting there. I most likely rededicated my life that night. I think it was revival. I might have been 10 yrs. old. I continued to live the better portion of my next 20 years believing (to some extent) that this "theory" made sense. Even when Scripture didn't exactly match up with this notion, the message was so powerful, some portions of it "stuck" in a very, very "sticky" way!

At the conclusion of my story, I'll tell you that I no longer believe that about God. I stood in front of the ocean this past summer (2008) and glanced out at the pitch black sea. It was nighttime and Aaron and I were just standing there. I began to cry as I thought back to that church service. With this black nothingness in front of me, and the thought of my life passing before me on the big screen for all to see, that haunting feeling rushed in. I turned to A and said, "Do you really think it will end that way?" (We had been talking about this memory for a while.) And my husband began to recite what seemed like a hundred Scriptures that directly combatted such "bondage" provoking theology.

The Scripture that said it all for me was, "Love keeps no record of wrong" (1 Cor. 13). A looked over at me and said, "What about Jesus has ever led you to believe His purpose is to embarrass you?" I had to think about that. And I confidently said, "Nothing". Jesus has never embarrassed me. Made fun of me. Made me feel like I am unlovable. Or held a record of wrong over me. All those things came from my bad choices, words, thoughts, and the schemes of a very present enemy. When I looked out at the ocean again......it was as if I could walk on water. I kept waiting for the clouds to part, the noises to grow silent, and for Jesus Himself to appear. In A's arms, with my mind on Christ's love for me.....I knew salvation had come once again! In all of my doubts, Jesus is and has always been the answer. His Word is my counsel. His sacrafice, My Only Hope. And His forgiveness is rooted in eternity.

So as I sit here and wait for my last DVD to verify and complete......I am eternally thankful that Christ alone paid the price for my entire DVD collection! He's got the right to remember every snap shot, but He's chosen to leave the particularly "dark" photos out of my compilation set. He's only interested in the pictures that capture my best. You know the ones. The ones of your kids that you carry with you, post on Facebook, or upload to your blog! Well, He's got a similar affection, with much more "awesomeness" attached!

At the end of this day, I'll have a few years of photo DVDs compiled. But at the end of my existence.....I'll have two things that matter. Christ's blood covering my multitude of sins, and my name in the Lambs Book of Life. I wonder if Jesus enjoys "scrapbooking"? What picture might He include next to my name? Ha! What a fun thought!