My Top 8 Other Cartoon Confirmed Cowards

The Lily-Livered Gang rides again! Here are eight more cartoon confirmed cowards for you to enjoy!

Ash, KIDD VIDEO

Do you remember KIDD VIDEO, where a live-action band traveled to a cartoon dimension called the Flip Side? Of course you do--I did an essay on them! Ash was the group's backup guitarist/backup vocalist/goofy guy, as well as getting scared out of his 80s style paper bag waisted pants. Played and voiced by Steve Alterman, his schticks was taking out his musical "Groove Machine" device and making up song lyrics that always "needed work," according to his bandmates; and his crush on Carla, the band's pretty drummer.

Ash's most cowardly moments, in my humble opinion, came in the episode "Master Blaster Brat," where he and Kidd went to a scary dimension to see a witch about breaking a spell on their bandmates, who had been turned into children. Ash kept singing "You Are My Lucky Star" to keep what little courage he had up, then fell into a river. After Kidd dove in to rescue him, he grabbed Kidd and ran on top of the water while being chased by a monster! When the boys faced the witch at last, a frightened Ash started playing drums to "blow off steam" and, well, you just had to be there.

Brenda Chance, CAPTAIN CAVEMAN AND THE TEEN ANGELS

Captain Caveman, "the World's First Superhero," fought prehistoric crime alongside Wilma and Betty on THE FLINTSTONE FROLICS, then with his son Cavey Junior on THE FLINTSTONE KIDS. But before all that, the Captain helped solve modern-day mysteries with the Teen Angels: Taffy Dare, Dee Dee Skyes, and resident chicken Brenda Chance.

While Taffy came up with "daffy" traps to snare the villain, and Dee Dee explained how they solved the mystery, Brenda just timidly came along for the ride, once fainting and having to be revived by one of Captain Caveman's club devices! Aside from that, at the episodes' start, she'd declare how glad there were "no mysteries to solve" when, suddenly, there was one. Be careful what you say, Brenda!

Dr. Cornelius Neumier, ROBOCOP: ALPHA COMMANDO

The second cartoon to star "The Future of Law Enforcement," it had RoboCop, a.k.a. Alex Murphy, fighting the evil organization D.A.R.C. alongside Agent Nancy Miner, as well as battling the punks of New Detroit City in the year 2030. And tending to Robo's cybernetic body was Dr. Neumier, a nerdy, twentysomething, triple-PhD. boy-bander lookalike who wore jeans and sandals along with his labcoat.

Neumie, as he is nicknamed, always cowered when surrounded by the bad guys, yet RoboCop and Agent Miner could always count on him to provide scientific backup for them--and the occasional good laugh at his timid antics.

Dr. Neumier took the spotlight in my favorite episode, "H2Uh-Oh," where he ran afoul of a chemical that turned his body into a living puddle of water, spilling right out of his HAZMAT suit! In this form, he sneaked into a government facility to stop D.A.R.C. agent Ilsa Lustig, who also turned into water. When the mission was over, the chemical wore off and, well, let's just say he could have been nicknamed "Nude-mier." At least Filmation's Ghostbusters got caught in their underwear!

Fraidy Cat, FRAIDY CAT

The star of one of the animated segments of Filmation's live-action kiddie-show spoof, UNCLE CROC'S BLOCK, Fraidy was a terribly timid tomcat who had lost his first eight lives and was desperately clinging to his ninth. One of these lives would come back to haunt him when he accidentally called out its number: One life was a prehistoric cat, one was a hepster cat, one was a cowboy cat, etc. But when he called out the number nine, a dark cloud in the shape of a 9 would appear and zap Fraidy with a lightning bolt, trying to claim him.

As if that wasn't enough trouble, Fraidy would run into some kind of bully or bullies who would terrorize him along with the eight lives. Once it was a gang of rats; another time it was a mob of gangster dogs led by "The Grandfather" (an obvious "Godfather" spoof). He even fell in love with a tabby cat, only to learn she had a jealous boyfriend. The poor cat couldn't catch a break!

Speaking of which, the parent show, UNCLE CROC'S BLOCK, did so poorly in the ratings that its network, ABC, never bought another show from Filmation ever again.

Penfold, DANGER MOUSE

In this British cartoon, hapless hamster Ernest Penfold, aide to Danger Mouse, "the World's Greatest Secret Agent," got his code name "Jigsaw" because when faced with trouble, he goes to pieces.

He's not much help to "DM:" he can't drive a car, he's not that smart, and he yammers so much, our hero has to tell him, "Penfold, shush!" At least he can't be hypnotized--must be those thick glasses of his.

Billy Joe, THE NEW SHMOO

The title character, who first appeared in the old comic strip LI'L ABNER, was now the squeaky-voiced, shape-shifting mascot of three teenagers who published the indie title MIGHTY MYSTERIES COMICS: Nita, the fiery Latina editor; Mickey, the bespectacled writer; and the heavy-set, cowardly Southern artist Billy Joe. This team went out and solved spooky mysteries as inspiration for their comic book.

Big, blond Billy Joe was my favorite character on the show because he was a cartoonist like me, he was chubby like me, and when riding in the team's little van, his head stuck out of the sunroof. And while he got scared of every episode's monster, I believe he was more scared of tough girl Nita!

Zilly, DASTARDLY & MUTTLEY IN THEIR FLYING MACHINES

This spinoff of WACKY RACES took place during World War I, of all settings, and had the title characters as members of the enemy Vulture Squadron, chasing and failing to catch Yankee Doodle Pigeon, who carried secret messages to Our Side. The other two members of the Squadron were Klunk, the yammering inventor; and nervous, cowardly Zilly.

Zilly was such a scaredycat, he'd hide his head in his long duster coat, then crawl out the back in his long underwear, and Muttley had to "fetch" him back into uniform! That coat, and Zilly's pilot's helmet, reminds me of another cartoon coward, Eddie Spenser, Jr. of FILMATION'S GHOSTBUSTERS.

Wally, BUTCH CASSIDY

This cartoon was not about Western outlaws, but a modern-day rock band called The Sundance Kids, of which Butch was lead singer/guitarist. Like Josie and the Pussycats, they fought supervillains around the world. Unlike Josie's group, they were assigned to do so--as undercover government agents.

Wally was the group's drummer/resident coward, always having to be dragged along by the gang to chase the bad guys. He's also a fumbler: Once, he accidentally read a secret message out loud, and another time lost a parrot that memorized half a secret formula. How does he stay on the team?

Wally was voiced by Micky Dolenz, drummer for another made-for-TV rock band, the Monkees.

There they are: eight more cartoon cowards. If you can think of any more, mention them in the comments. There's always room in the chicken coop!