My OG Celebrity Crush was Leif Garrett

Where do I even begin? The entirety of my teenage years was filled with dreams of going to Hollywood and meeting the gorgeous men I had plastered all over my bedroom walls, and attempting to look like the vixens and beauties from my favorite TV dramas and videos.

Due to various forms of abuse growing up (sexual, emotional, verbal) my crushes became my escape from the real world. In my mind, I was a vibrant, beautiful, intelligent, sophisticated partner to each of my male crushes and I did my best to emulate the quiet beauty and power of the women that I admired.

Leif Garrett

Leif was my first Hollywood crush. The hair, the eyes, the smoldering look - everything about him just stole my breath away.

Every edition of Seventeen, Teen Beat, and Tiger Beat that had a pull-out poster or article on him, I had to have it. I had at minimum six to eight posters or photos of Leif on my wall at any given time!

The music is what did it for me. That voice, the energy he put into his performances, just made my heart skip a few beats every time I heard him.

When I found out Nicollette Sheridan was his girlfriend at the time, I was crushed. Heartbroken, literally sobbed for hours in my room.

I lost myself in those posters, dreaming of the two of us traveling the world while he went on tour, being backstage on American Bandstand while he was interviewed by Dick Clark.

Leif was born in 1961, and I followed in 1967. I would spend hours imagining what it was like to grow up in Hollywood, California - one of my childhood "must-see" destinations. I imagined the two of us going to Hollywood parties and rubbing elbows with other celebrities and musicians at awards ceremonies.

A recurring dream was of Leif and me escaping our troubled lives and running away together to Venice Beach, California. As a teenager, to me, Venice Beach was all the wonderful things about California rolled into one location. We had an entire penthouse to ourselves, with the Pacific Ocean right outside our bedroom balcony.

We would throw lavish parties that would include all of my teenage crushes (Shawn Cassidy, Robby Benson, Erik Estrada, Greg Evigan, Donny Osmond, Scott Baio, Willie Aames, John Schneider, Rex Smith) and all of the Hollywood beauties that I admired (Marie Osmond, Lynda Carter, Farrah Fawcett, Linsay Wagner, Heather Locklear) and when Leif wasn't serenading us, we would have entertainers such as Madonna, Styx, REO Speedwagon, .38 Special dropping by to perform and just hang out.

As with all crushes; however, as time wore on, my crush faded. I do remember, however, that even when Leif and I were no longer an item, there were several high school boyfriends that had the long hair, piercing gaze and smoldering look. Even now, when I look back on photos from those younger years, or I hear a recording, my heart still does a little flip.