Bravo is My Self-Care

Recently, the term “Self-Care” has become more and more commonplace. For those who are new to the concept of self-care, to put it simply, it is just the purposeful act of trying to take care of yourself in order to be a healthier and happier person in general. I’ll admit, I had never even heard of the concept of self-care until a couple years ago. I’d stumble upon articles about it on social media or while skimming a magazine and the suggestions were always things like taking a bath or reading a book or going on a walk. While these suggestions are fine and things I like to do to take care of myself, the suggestions found online now have changed quite a bit. Currently, if you Google “Self-Care” you will find suggestions like getting on a regular sleep routine or seeing a therapist or exercising regularly and eating right. Again, these are all good suggestions and activities I try my hardest to have in my life. They are definitely more effective and life altering than taking a bath and they are important for everyone to learn about in order to be a happy and healthy human being. However, my favorite, most indulgent form of self-care is a little different. While the suggestions listed above are great self-care strategies, my go to self-care activity when I am feeling really down is watching a reality show on Bravo.

I know what you are thinking. Reality TV is garbage TV. It is scripted. It is mind-numbing and will not make you a better person by watching. Watching television in general is not considered to be something that will make you smarter or improve your life or make you a better you, with the exception of maybe some documentaries. I’ll confess, I don’t disagree with all of those statements, but in my opinion watching Bravo has been a positive in my self-care process even if it has sucked up hours and hours of my life. Continue reading to find out why.

Bravo allows me to forget about my own problems by focusing on someone else’s problems.

When I think of difficult times in my life, like losing my father or dealing with a traumatic birth experience when having my third child, watching Bravo was definitely there to get me through it. I know it sounds silly, but trying to figure out whether Kristen truly betrayed Stassi by sleeping with Jax, whether or not Yolanda actually had Lyme disease, and trying to figure out what exactly was going on with Kelly on Scary Island were great distractions for my feelings of stress, anxiety, or sadness. While watching Bravo, I can fully dive into someone else’s world and think about what I would do if I were in their shoes.

Bravo gives me the chance to indulge in extravagance and grandeur that I will never experience in my own life.

When I turn on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I am taken to a world of deluxe restaurants, multi-million dollar mansions, designer clothing, and world class travel. Sure, I am wearing yoga pants and a top knot, but I can luxuriate in all of the fabulousness without spending a dime. On Southern Charm, they come from families with bridges named after them and live off of interest and real estate investments, making the need for a job disappear. In New York City, the ladies live in fantastic high rises and attend fashion week. Majority of housewives are obscenely rich and while you might think watching them spend tens of thousands of dollars might spark feelings of jealously or outrage at just how wasteful they are, it is just plain fun to watch. Much like getting lost in their problems, getting lost in their extravagant lifestyle is a great way to just relax and enjoy.

Bravo makes it easy to shut my brain off.

Apart from scenes with dramatic fights or reveals, or luxurious vacations and shopping sprees, Bravo shows have their fair share of meaninglessness that allow viewers to watch without needing to think. We can watch Dorinda shop for cheese. We can hear Scheana describe her run-ins with people mistaking her for Britney Spears. We can watch Cameron interview a nanny. All of these scenes are not too interesting but they allow for mild entertainment and a good time to grab a snack. They are perfect for folding laundry or answering an email.

After watching Bravo, I usually don’t feel worn down or thoughtful, I just feel light. As an overthinker, this is something I need in my life. I will say, there are episodes that stick with me when cast members have truly been through terrible, life-changing events. However, those episodes have their place. For the most part, Bravo provides a respite from any real issues in my life as well as those exhausting and somewhat monotonous moments in the life of a stay at home mom.

I can watch Bravo shows while my kids are around.

First let me say, I don’t spend my whole day as a stay at home mom watching Bravo, but I usually watch an episode here or there while doing chores and playing with the kids. I’m sure some parents would disagree with me, but having Bravo shows on while my three kids who are three and under are around has never caused an issue. Obviously, there are adult themes in Bravo shows that are inappropriate for kids. However, my kids are definitely too young to understand what is going on when any of those themes, like suicide, sexual harassment, or alcohol abuse, arise. All they see are crazy ladies yelling, bright colors, and fluffy dogs. There is rarely any violence besides table flipping and the occasional slap, and the bad words are bleeped out. A few naughty words might slip through the cracks, but that’s life.

Also, my kids really don’t pay attention when the Bravo shows are on. I have never been a “No TV Mom” but I would prefer they not turn into zombies while watching episode after episode of Paw Patrol. When a Bravo show is on, they are aware it is on, but they are usually playing or reading or doing something else. On top of this, I can watch Bravo easily while they are playing because it only requires some of my attention. Judge me if you want, but hanging out with three toddlers all day without any TV for myself is not always the most enjoyable day.

Does Bravo make me a better mom? Probably not. But it does allow me to get something I like (remember, we were talking about self-care) while spending time with and taking care of them, which in turn makes me a more patient and content mom. While I’m feeling depressed or having a stressful day with the kids, Bravo has been there for me.

Bravo creates connection.

While binging a Bravo show or watching it live, I always have the end of season reunions to look forward to as well as juicy information on the Bravo Reddit board. Many Bravo fans are real fans who are truly invested in the shows and the cast members’ lives. While sitting at home watching TV may seem like a solitary activity, listening to the questions viewers send in to the reunion shows, even if they are years old, definitely gives a sense of togetherness. I sit there saying, “Yes, that’s exactly what I was thinking!” or “I know, but Craig is Craig and you’ve got to give him the benefit of the doubt.” The sense of camaraderie among Bravo fans is something that is hard to explain. Although we all have different favorites and opinions, Bravo fans are fun to connect with which is a positive part of any self-care strategy.

If you are lucky, you won’t only connect with strangers who love Bravo, but maybe a friend or significant other will watch with you. I finally got my husband on board when we started watching Southern Charm together. Debating whether or not Kathryn was justified in her actions, talking about my husband's love of the coolness of Shep, and predicting the success of Craig’s pillow business was so much fun while we watched together. He finally gets why I love these shows! Sadly, I haven’t gotten him hooked on another one… yet.

Bravo gives you a chance to observe how cast members change and grow (or don’t) through their experiences.

Without actually meeting these people, watching them makes me feel like I know them. I can think back to season one Stassi and her birthday demands and mean girl behavior and see that she really has grown as a person. She still has her stubbornness, but she is much more compassionate and rational. I can remember Bethany when she was working in a grocery store handing out samples and trying to get Skinny Girl off the ground, and I can see her now, as a multi-millionaire and insanely successful businesswoman. I can remember Kathryn as a 21 year old making poor decisions, watching her continue to make poor decisions, but eventually growing from them to make some improvement. There are always the Jaxes and Vickis of the Bravo universe that will never truly change, no matter how much they try to convince themselves and viewers that they have, and these cases are equally interesting to watch. Some people you just love to hate.

I know that for many people, loving to watch complete strangers who are mostly spoiled and self-centered may not sound like a great way to spend time. I could be reading or painting or creating an effective cleaning plan. While I do like to do some of those things, when I am feeling down or in a rut, watching Bravo can always get me through, whether it is the schadenfreude felt while watching people fight about petty problems, enveloping myself into their lives of luxury, making a connection, or truly shutting my brain off. In the words of Tamra, THAT’S MY OPINION!

If I have you convinced to try to add Bravo to your self-care routine, here is my ranking of shows I have watched and why I like them.

Southern Charm: Southern Charm takes place in Charleston, South Carolina and follows those who come from old money or are active in the social scene. It is my favorite for three reasons. One, it is the show my husband and I watch together and fangirl over. Two, the relationships between the cast members feel very real and unproduced. They are people who have obviously known each other for a while and would socialize whether or not there was a show to film. Three, the men are a big part of the drama which is fun to watch and not the norm on Bravo since there are so many housewife shows.

Vanderpump Rules: VPR is a spin-off of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It follows servers and bartenders who work at housewife Lisa Vanderpump’s restaurant SUR in West Hollywood. All of the employees are ridiculously good looking, want to be in show business, and most activities involve alcohol. Can you say DRAMA!

The Real Housewives of New York City: The second housewife show created, RHONYC always brings the drama and authenticity. The first season and a half are very dated, but it is a show that keeps getting better and better.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills: The Beverly Hill housewives are fabulous, and the first few seasons are excellent television with very serious issues as well as petty fights and dinner parties from Hell. The later seasons are not as good because the housewives censor themselves more, but I still enjoy it.

The Real Housewives of Orange County: The OG housewife show is always dramatic but admittedly pretty trashy. The first few seasons are very different and are more like a documentary of living in Coto de Caza California. The family relationships are very interesting in the early seasons and the drama among the women starts around season 4.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey: New Jersey is last on my list because the stories on this show can be a bit dark and depressing. However, the drama and fights are very revved up as you may imagine.

The next shows I want to delve into are The Real Housewives of Atlanta and Shahs of Sunset. Starting a new show always takes me some time because they are a long commitment, but I’m here for it.