Book Review: "Road Ends" by Mary Lawson

"It was the distance between herself and home that bothered her. . . . she could see herself here in five years' time. In ten. Her family going on its way without her. Thinking of her less and less, as she would probably think of them less and less. . . . The emptiness inside her gradually filling with other things, other people. The word 'home' taking on a different meaning, so that when she went back to visit she would no longer belong there. She would no longer be the person she would have been if she'd stayed."

- Road Ends by Mary Lawson

I don't think I've read a book by Mary Lawson before and yet, I cannot see why. Her book Road Ends seems to be one of those family dramas that at the moment, I am so into reading. Well, either I am so into it or they have their way of finding me. These sad stories of family characters in which tragedies occus one after the other and change people forever, creating new and emotional conflicts between people within and without.

The people in this family drama are the Cartwrights and the story is narrated primarily by three people: absent father Edward who would rather read books than deal with his family, Tom - one of the children who has had to return home and drives snowploughs than use his degree for anything. Finally, there is Megan - the 21 year old daughter who has finally left home as her family falls apart. Within their family includes tragedy, a mother who looks after her babies but as soon as they've left the baby stage - she forgets about them and also a hungry four-and-a-half year old brother named Adam - a character Megan remembers in a passing moment with deep regret on leaving him.

There are many children and all of them are in conflict as the mother neglects her mothering, the father remains so obsessed with not becoming like his father that he doesn't father at all, and the children are left to fend for themselves without food or warmth. Megan is the one who leaves and quickly, the home falls apart. The mother is clearly mentally unwell and yet, nobody is helping anyone else. As the snow comes in and the ice cold of Canada bites, it is clear that nothing is okay.

As the book moves forwards and Megan has finally moved to England as she intended (somewhat), she realises it is not all it’s cracked up to be As she waits on noisy and overcrowded trains with a suitcase that is so full she cannot even carry it. Over this, she experiences a deep sense of loneliness and feels as though she has already made several mistakes before even getting started. So what we get to see is that over two parts of the world, there is a great sense of peril and internal conflict for our characters. It is beautifully written into the story as a deep and straining dichotomy - the reader’s job is to recognise the discontent in both situations. We are meant to see that in a way, “the fault…is not in our stars, but in ourselves…” (Julius Caesar, 1.2). It is not place but person.

The book is so wonderfully written with such a great sense of voice that though there are three different narratives, there is no chance of mixing up any of the characters. Lawson shapes the characters by their grievances and creates these dimensions to their speech and their personalities that the third person descriptions of their actions often echo back in their voices. A difference portrayed between private face and public face, but also cracks appearing in both as they melt together, one battling for dominance over the other.

I have to say, I see myself in Megan quite a lot especially now. She's just moved and everything is going wrong, she is an inadequate girl with no motivation left within her except for trying to convince herself that this was just what she wanted. She is constantly trying to immerse herself in her new home with absolutely no luck whatsoever. When you read it happening to someone else, it is actually much more upsetting than the real thing. I just love this character and how much we are alike - she is a brilliantly empathetic woman. But as she develops, I do have to say that we couldn't be more different. She is still empathetic though. She turns into a character that is out of her shell only because everyone else is.

To conclude, there is something amazing about this book - something that doesn't make sense in the mind but makes your heart feel bad about the characters. Each of them are strange and different to the other and yet, only one or two of them are likeable. By the end of the book, you really do feel like you know them as real people. In the mind, these people exist, but by the final line, they don't anymore - but the thing that doesn't make sense is that you want them to. It is a brilliant achievement of literature.