Bewitched

I have been watching the first four seasons of BEWITCHED on Roku and as with other issues I have dealt with lately, I realized that art was imitating life. Bewitched aired on ABC from 1964-1972. I was unable to enjoy the first run of the series because the local ABC affiliate was 40 miles from where I lived. We could get NBC and CBS but ABC was nothing but snow. I often listened to the audio of Batman and BEWITCHED but it was not the same.

Decades ago, BEWITCHED began coming on TV land and I really enjoyed seeing what previously I had only listened to. For the past 3 weeks I have been watching this series on Roku and suddenly I began viewing the episodes differently than I had in the past. The death of my husband has caused me to reflect upon things in a way that I had not before.

I began to notice that in almost every episode the theme was someone trying to break up Darrin and Samantha. Previously this was simple humor but now it was reminding me of my own marriage. I watched as Endora played trick after trick on her son in law trying to get him to fall for other women or for females to fall for him. She would set up situations and then dare Samantha to see for herself that she could not trust this mortal husband.

Larry Tate, Darrin's boss would encourage him to flirt with female clients and withhold the fact that he was married just to gain a business account. Episode after episode during the past few weeks I found myself getting angry instead of laughing at the humor and I have good reasons why. When my husband and I were first married his mother called daily needing him to run errands for her. His oldest brother was still living at home and another brother was living nearby but she wanted her baby boy.

In later years my mother in law and I became good friends and I never resented her. I only wondered why it took so long to accept that her son had a wife? During this same time a couple who were our friends divorced. The husband had found out his wife was cheating and he was beside himself. Every evening for 2 weeks he showed up on our front door and spent time lamenting his sorrows to my husband.

There was also a set of twin brothers who would call my spouse on a regular basis. They even came over one Christmas and brought alcohol for him to drink as if he did not have a wife and child to spend Christmas Eve with. Once their mother called and asked my husband to go to the store for her when she had 14 living adult children with vehicles. Each of these things on their own are not much but when it happens routinely for many years it gets annoying.

There were women who drank until they were drunk and who needed rides late at night. My husband had a male friend who would let them crash at his place until they sobered up. If they really wanted to go home he would give them our phone number because he said my spouse would not take advantage of these inebriated women as other men had. Watching BEWITCHED began bringing back various memories until I became angry at Endora and Larry Tate. How dare they try to break up a happy home and I realized I was projecting years of my own anger onto the television.

Larry Tate and Endora never stopped manipulating Darrin and I realized that throughout my four decades of marriage there were various individuals doing the same with my husband. In one neighborhood where we lived two boys aged 5 and 6 would alternate knocking on our door seeking rides for their grandfather. No matter how many times I said no, they would come right back. These situations were few and far between and spread out over a 40 year period but watching BEWITCHED made it seem as if it were all yesterday and had taken place 24/7, 365.

I remember one night my husband wanted to ask a friend a question but looked at the clock and said he would not call because he did not want to wake up the man's wife. I told him I wished other people had shown me the same respect. In my opinion, when someone called late at night or sent their grandkids to the door multiple times they were basically saying "Screw your wife, I want what I want." So now, I have got to find a way to enjoy BEWITCHED again without reliving these long ago memories.

I was not being a selfish wife who did not want her spouse to spend time with family or friends, I simply wanted what Aretha Franklin sang about, just a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I think about all the people who sit in weddings listening to the traditional vows that say "What God has joined let no man put asunder." So many women on BEWITCHED did not care that Darrin had a wife and often disrespected Samantha right to her face.

I remember once visiting a church I had never been to before. Two female greeters hugged my husband and welcomed him and just left me standing there. For whatever reason, there are people who are just going to be disrespectful to wives and that's about the size of it. The Endora's and Larry Tate's of the world will continue on because some folk don't know another way.