Autistic Woman Vs: Leprechaun

Welcome back my lovely readers and subscribers to another, Autistic Woman Vs! The series where I talk about various monsters and creatures from an Autistic perspective or at least an INDIVIDUAL autistic perspective. The snow is melting, the sun is appearing more and I can, almost, wear a lighter coat and not need a windbreaker. For this article, since it is the month of March, what an appropriate time to talk about the Leprechaun!

What a wonderful, colorful creature they are! I am using gender neutral pronouns because, like dwarves, we cannot assume they are male or female due to lack of distinguishing features. The earliest appearance of a leprechaun was in a folk tale titled Echtra Fergus mac Léti (Adventure of Fergus son of Léti), try saying that three times fast. This folktale is about the king of Ulster who falls asleep on the beach and comes to find three leprechauns trying to drag him into the sea. He captures them and they grant him three wishes in exchange for release. This would be a great PSA for those who fall asleep while sun-bathing at the beach; not only are you going to be as red as a Catholic school girl’s face, you could also be drowned by Leprechauns! Capturing them would be no small feat as we all know those little buggers are clever.

What I would do if I had those three chuds try and drag me off to anywhere, which is strange since I hardly leave my house voluntarily, is to capture them and to have my three wishes. My first wish would be to put me back inside my house because what in the world am I doing on some strange beach? My second wish would be to not end up mysteriously back in such a place ever again. My last wish would be to have free groceries for the rest of my life because I am a poor disabled woman and I will take every opportunity for free stuff. I have a hard time understanding why three wishes? Why not make it more difficult for the wisher and make them come up with two instead? It would just make it even harder for the person to wish for the obvious.

Leprechauns are also well-known for the famous Pot of Gold (not the box of chocolates) but actual legitimate gold at the end of a rainbow. I tried researching and there does not seem to be much explanation as to why a rainbow and a pot of gold. The modern leprechaun that we all know seems to also be heavily based on the image of Irish immigrants to the United States as well as taking cues from other folk tales as well. I mean it is not charming that the image that we see on consumer goods is based ethinic stereotypes but that never seems to stop the rich from trying to make some money. The Leprechaun is a long-standing symbol of good luck and Saint Patrick’s Day in Irish folklore though Saint Patrick was an actual jerk who portrayed the Irish heathens as snakes that needed to be exterminated and converted to Christians. That is something to ponder while guzzling down that Guiness this Saint Patrick’s Day.

Now if I did the crazy thing and actually found the end of the rainbow and saw the aforementioned pile of Gold, I would take that gold and make sure none of it was those chocolate coins that seem to plague our existence. I am not going to risk my dental health by biting into those things so I would just take them to the closest bank and deposit it into my account. This would worry me since for one thing, I would look suspicious carrying around a pot of gold, and secondly that I am taking said gold to bank in a pot and not a briefcase like a smart person. Being in possession of said expensive material does not make one very intelligent since that gold did come from somewhere unsavory and unethical. As previously mentioned, I am going to take every opportunity to avoid having a negative zero in my bank account as well.

Those little green creatures have made a huge mark on society and are easily recognizable. They, however, cannot escape from my more pragmatic way of thinking and I do hope they become smarter and learn to avoid me. No creature is safe from logical thinking and I sincerely hope that my fellow neurodivergents will learn to outsmart them and get that pot of gold!

I hope that you all enjoyed this little rundown of the Leprechaun! As always, please consider subscribing, leaving a like or supporting me in some way if you want me to continue this series