'The Legend of Zelda'

The Legend of Zelda, The Wind Waker was a phenomenal work of art released back in 2003 on the Game Cube. This is debatably my favorite Zelda game. I say debatably, because I think I enjoyed Phantom Hourglass just as much, but I haven’t played that one as many times, because it’s on a handheld console, whereas Wind Waker is on the Game Cube; at least the version that I owned and played was on the Game Cube.

Now, where do I begin? This game is so amazing, and has so many features that I enjoy, that I literally don’t know where to begin. I mean, okay, the title screen isn’t the best I’ve ever seen, but the intro is one of my all time favorite intros.

You can see it here on YouTube.

The music, the artwork, the depiction of the hero of time, which was Link from Ocarina of Time, and the revelation of how he could not appear to stop Ganondorf, because he was sent back in time to relive his childhood is, like, the coolest thing I’ve ever witnessed. This thing is a freaking masterpiece, and a perfect prologue for the game. Oh, the game, right? That’s what I’m supposed to be reviewing, not just the stellar intro.

Well, since the hero of time didn’t appear, Ganondorf grew powerful enough to wreak havoc upon Hyrule, so what do the people do in reply? They sink the whole fucking world, and Hyrule vanishes like memories of the dearly departed, yet, somehow, there are legends of a hero in green, and so, on outset island, when a boy reaches a certain age, he ceremonially dresses in green garb, and on this fateful day, when our nameless hero to be, Toon Link, comes of age, he runs around his hometown only to witness the kidnapping of his little sister, and the game is off!

Toon Link becomes the Wind Waker, a hero who controls the winds, and he sails around on the Red Lion, a semi-living boat possessed by the spirit of the King of Hyrule, who yet lives beneath the sea. It becomes your job to restore the triforce of courage. You see, Ganon is still alive, and he still commands the triforce of power, and as always, he wants complete control of all three triforces. He’s an asshole who’s kidnapping little girls with blonde hair in an effort to find Zelda, so he can get her triforce, which is why your sister was taken.

Now, that’s just the story in a nutshell, and great as it is, it pales by comparison with what makes this game a masterpiece. I do have to add that I'm a little confused about this incarnation of Ganon, because he's not a pig monster, so shouldn't it be Ganondorf? But who cares; there have been so many version of Link, too.

Anyway, I really enjoy the graphics, and the pastel-ish cartoony animation is by far the best I’ve ever seen. I’d rather play games that look like this than games that look like Skyrim. I like for my games to be games, and not an attempt of making a game world look like a real world, but that’s me.

Another great feature? The goofy expressions on Link’s face.

That's just awesome sauce!

What about how the musical sound effects move up along a scale when you whack bad guys? That’s so cool! What about the goofy fish, who marks your map? I love that guy.

I’ve played through this game a few times. Honestly, I haven’t played it as much as I would have liked, because twice my game disc failed, and once my Wii stopped working, so I had to get a new Wii, but then I had to trade that Wii in for an older model that could play Game Cube games, because the first two times I bought Wind Waker, it was the Game Cube version. Unfortunately, I don’t even own my own copy anymore. I had to borrow one to play again, but never mind all that; those aren’t flaws with the game. Those were flaws with the used equipment I had purchased, which is weird because I still own my Play Station from 1996, and I still have my copy of King’s Field, and they both work!

Man, I’m getting way off topic here.

Anyway, I can’t think of a single flaw in Wind Waker. I’m gonna’ say it’s the best Zelda game, and though probably tied with Phantom Hourglass—its direct sequel—it’s most certainly the best game the Game Cube has to offer. There were a few other Toon Link games as well, like The Four Sword Adventure, and Spirit Tracks, but then Nintendo seemed to dump Toon Link for adult Link with games like Twilight Princess and Breath of the Wild.

I don’t know about those games. I don’t own either one, but I’ve played Twilight Princess, and while it has some redeeming features, and cool items like the double hook shot and the spinner, it’s just not that great. I never, like, wanted to play it.

I do have to admit that I like the graphics. They remind me of the graphics from The Last Story, also on the Wii, and probably the best game the Wii had to offer, but insofar as game play goes, Twilight Princess just didn’t do it for me.

Before I get back to Wind Waker, I’d like to mention something else that seemed like a missed opportunity…

Do you remember in The Legend of Zelda, A Link to the Past, when you first enter the dark world? Link turns into a bunny.

He needs the pearl to maintain his form. While a bunny, he can’t attack; he can only flee. Why did they make Link turn into a wolf in Twilight Princess? It’s weird, and a real wasted effort. He turns into a wolf and does what? Nothing he couldn’t do with his items; the game just makes you use the wolf for the sake of making you use the wolf, but what if the game had forced you to be the bunny, requiring stealth, patience, and puzzle solving to survive?

I’ve said it a million times in my reviews; these game designers are fucking stupid. They take talented programmers and artists, and let them write the story and game mechanics, and they shouldn’t. Those artists and programmers needs to stick to animation and code, not story or game play mechanics; it’s why Skyrim is a far shittier game than Oblivion—insofar as the stories, characters, and side quests go.

Anyway, back to Wind Waker again. The people who made this game must have held entertainment as their highest priority. Why else would Link stick a pear on his head? Why else would those little turds run up, screaming, “Dah-neh! Neh! Neh-dah-neh!” Stick you with their forks, and then laugh?

The whole game is just fun. Oh, and I love how all the bad guys are some kind of animal; the Dark Nuts are wolf people, the moblins are pigs (why not bull dogs?), the wizards are toucans! I love the toucans. They’re my favorite, and when they die, they kind of shriek. It’s so amazing.

No, not a single flaw in the game. The artwork? Tops. The graphics, animation, music? Legendary! The creativity? Epic. This is an A+ game for sure, and one that I just cherish. I hope they release a new Toon Link game soon, not remake Wind Waker a seventh time, and that they try to remember to create a game that’s fun to play, hear, and see.

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