The Goons are the Worst Bosses in Tarkov

(Intro)

The Goons, Knight, Big Pipe, and Birdeye are the worst bosses in Tarkov. Now, that’s kind of a loaded statement, and depending on who you ask, and the context surrounding that initial statement, people’s choice for worst boss might be different. Bosses have always been a touchy subject across the entirety of EFT. People have varying opinions about many aspects regarding how they work, their spawn rates, and levels of aggression. It isn’t something that can be boiled down to a single slider going in one direction or the other. The many facets about all the AI also apply to the harder enemies in the game, namely the bosses across the maps. And while each boss provides different levels of challenge through different means, none even come close to the sheer powerhouses that are The Goons. Added with patch 0.12.12 which happened on June 29th 2022, for a while they were this kind of ominous group that could appear out of nowhere, were insanely aggressive, and in some aspects, broke the rules set in place for the world of EFT. And while the challenge is certainly there, it’s generally unfair if they function correctly. Emphasis on if because we’ll be going over that later. Today, I wanted to look at the Goons as a whole, what makes them so powerful, so frustrating to fight, where they fall short, and if they are really the hardest boss in the game.

(They aimbot... a lot)

Each member of the Goons behaves differently from one another. The leader, Knight, usually prefers to either rush straight to your location, or kind of wait along the sidelines until you expose yourself for an easy pick. Big Pipe is the most straightforward; he just pushes you, either with his normal weapons or his grenade launcher if you are unlucky enough to be around when it’s in his hands. Birdeye is the most fickle; using long range weaponry, he will play the furthest back away from the direct action and take pot shots at you in the open. He will constantly move his location in relation to yours; and can be tough to pin down without having a proper one-on-one duel with him at range. But one thing is common among all three of them: they love to instantly one-tap you the moment you expose yourself for too long. Out of all the AI in the game, every scav, every raider, every cultist, every boss... I don’t think any of them compare to how fast and consistent the Goons are with dropping you before you have a chance to react to them. For a while too, their voice lines weren't distinct enough to recognize that it was them before it was too late.

Luckily, BSG rectified that and they all have distinct voices from that separate not only themselves from each other, but the more generic AI as well. What’s worse, is their aggro range. It’s inhuman; it’s unbelievable how far away they will take shots at you depending on which map you find them. The two most egregious are most likely either Woods or Shoreline. And speaking from personal experience, I had an instance a while back where I was at the new little fob area on Shoreline. You know, with the tents and the shooting range. I was there. And the Goons generally spawn at the weather station. I got their aggro from the fob where I heard and saw the suppression effect on my screen. And they ran all the way from weather station to my location, and I died. Let’s just say I was beside myself and Tarkov got shut off the rest of that day. They can be absolutely absurd, and sometimes, like all the AI in the game, they can also be braindead and make for quick and easy takedowns. Just depends on your luck of the draw that raid.

(BSG should delete their lore)

One aspect about the Goons that is completely off topic from gameplay, but still upsets me is their lore. BSG wrote up a whole paragraph explaining their backstory, origin, and how they work together. And when you read it sounds awesome, especially the first time. But in reality, all of that information is completely moot and irrelevant to how the actually work. It’s just flavor text at this point, and if BSG had somehow incorporated some of that lore into their gameplay, it may not fix the bosses in their entirety, but it would at least give them some needed depth. For example, their lore says they use radios to communicate with one another. Now imagine, if that translated to gameplay, where you could hear the static of their radios and the calls they were giving to one another. It would not only feel so much more immersive going up against an elite group of three, it would also balance them out a little so they can’t surprise you. Because their aim and reaction speeds are so insanely high, at least knowing where they are gives you one distinct advantage. But nope, that section of their lore means basically nothing in the grand scheme of things. Just a huge missed opportunity.

(There’s no counterplay to them)

There is no real strategy to beating them. You straight up just need to aim and react faster than they can, which is a tall order to ask. And this is assuming their AI is actually working. When they first came out, there were multiple ways to cheese them into basically just running into you with little to no risk. But most of those circumstances have been worked out, so now it comes down to knowing they are on the map and just reacting accordingly. Big Pipe and Knight are kind of the muscle of the group and if played correctly, can be drawn to a location where you have the immediate advantage, and take care of. It's Birdeye that can pose the most trouble; for one, he makes no audible footstep noises. Meaning he can run within touching distance of you and you won’t know. Also, even when he has a bolt-action rifle in his hands, something that requires you to manually cycle the next round into place, meaning you are very vulnerable, I have witnessed with my own two eyes him shooting back-to-back with no pause; as if he had a DMR. When I said earlier these guys break the rules of the game, this is one example of what I meant. Birdeye is a slime ball; probably the most annoying to fight out of the three because so many of the mechanics we as players use to beat each other in fights don’t apply to him. You will only ever know his approximate location; which can be learned by either taking out his other two buddies and he will call that out. Or by throwing a grenade near him so he has to call that out and relocate. Other than that, good luck trying to find him. He’s like Partizan; just a loose cannon that defies the expectations of players in weird and arguably unfair circumstances. The only times they have ever felt even remotely fair was during any of the boss events where they were all on one location. At least then you knew where they were and just needed to react faster. But now? Generally, by the time you figure out the Goons are in your raid, it’s usually too late and you get sent back to your stash.

(Boss AI in general [abridged])

The Goons might be the worst, but they are not the only ones that have issues. There is an argument to be had that all of the boss AI is basically broken. In fact, we kind of know they are. We might delve deeper into this problem in the future, but to put it simply; the AI are not a force you need to think too hard about. They see you, react and you need to counter react. They are not robust, although to their credit, the scavs now will use suppressing fire on you as of patch 0.16, which is genuinely interesting, but it still doesn’t solve the problem.

(Outro)

The Goons are by far personally, my least favorite boss in the game, next to Partizan. They are obnoxious. They aren’t difficult because they outnumber you and you need to use dirty tactics to pick them apart one by one. No, they just rush you down and aimbot you. And if Knight or Big Pipe don’t get you, Birdeye will just double-tap you with a bolt-action rifle. They are the antithesis of everything wrong with all AI in the game currently. And the question of whether or not BSG has the knowhow to figure this out before 1.0 is still up in the air. Most people would rather have AI in Tarkov lean a little more to being easier rather than hard because once they reach a certain threshold, they feel unstoppable. I’d rather see them use tons of ammo, suppress the hell out of so you can’t easily out maneuver them, while someone like Birdeye takes a new defensive position. Even something as simple as that feels more engaging then just hoping they drop aggro long enough for you to take a shot at them. Either way, AI and especially bosses have been problematic for a long time. And sadly, it’s unlikely we will see changes anytime soon. Thank you very much for taking the time out of your day to watch this video. Let me know down in the comment section below your thoughts on the Goons, boss AI across the entire game and be sure to subscribe for more videos about half a decade old problems rearing their ugly heads over and over again because BSG keeps putting insane AI into the game. I hope to see you in future ones.