The Art of Handshakes

You walk into a room and start shaking hands. Each person is unique in the handshake they give. Some are firm and confidant, some are overbearing and painful, and some are limp and sweaty. But what is your handshake?

The art of shaking hands can instill confidence or doubt. And in this day and age it instills the need for hand sanitizer. But the handshake has been a symbol of an alliance or respect for centuries. It is a greeting, a bargain sealer, expressing remorse or gratitude, welcoming, or congratulations. The kind of handshake you give tells the type of person you are.

The one handshake that always creeps me out and instills distrust in me is the dead fish. The person just puts their hand out and it lays there. There is no shake, no squeeze, no life it feels like you have a dead fish in your hand. It's not that you can't trust this person most of the time the person isn't confident in themselves and most likely are looking down when they shake.

Another one is someone who is nervous, and they have sweaty hands. Like the dead fish they might not be confident and or are extremely nervous. Their bodies are overcompensating, and the result is sweaty hands.

Have you gotten the handshake that feels incomplete? They grab your fingers and that is it no palm to palm just a find grab or Finger Vice. This is another insecure person that is trying to keep you at a distance.

One that I have gotten, and it always makes me feel overlooked or unimportant is the brush off. This handshake is just that they are brushing you off as unimportant. Its quick and release and they are onto another person. Sadly, I will say I have done this when I have wanted to make a statement and I realize now it was callous of me and immature.

The person in need of control there are several handshakes that fit within this realm. Someone grabs your hand and pulls you to where they want you to go. They want to dominate. Then there is the bone crusher they grab like a real handshake and squeeze harder than needed they want to intimidate. The top handed shake is another one. They shake with their hand on top so that the message is they are superior to you.

The double handshake or the politician handshake the person grabs your hand with both hands. They want you to feel confident in them and trust them. This is not always the case because they send trustworthy vides off does not mean they are. This one is also one of concern among friends or colleagues.

A handshake can send many messages and tells a person whether or not your confident, cocky, trustworthy, or hiding something. A handshake can make or break a deal.

A good confident handshake is friendly welcoming. You make eye contact and have a look of welcome on your face. Your hands are joined palm to palm, you squeeze with moderate pressure for 2 to 3 seconds, move your hand up and down, and release. Just before they release you can say something or introduce yourself. The entire time your focus is on them making eye contact instilling confidence and respect.

As a woman the rules have been different over the years as to how we give or get handshakes but, in the end, I think taking the person you are shaking hands with into consideration is important. Instill confidence and trust is the key.

A good handshake is a skill worth learning and as times have changed recently, I hope the art of the handshake does not fall out of use. When I go into a situation and a handshake is warranted it feels weird not to and it feels unprofessional. Recently an older gentleman who might have felt the same way gave me a fist bump instead and I instantly liked him because he was trying to instill confidence in a fun way.