If You Frequently Say These 7 Things, Sorry to Say, Your EQ Is Alarmingly Low.

These seemingly simple phrases reveal that you have low EQ and need to correct it immediately. Many people make this mistake without even realizing it.

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to accurately perceive and evaluate your own emotions and those of others. People with high EQ can access, evoke emotions, understand non-verbal cues, and regulate emotions to build stronger relationships. Dr. Cortney S. Warren, a psychologist trained at Harvard University, has conducted research on this topic. She admits that EQ is the key to an individual's success in life and career.

So how can you determine your EQ level and find ways to improve it? To measure this, psychologist Cortney points out: If you frequently use these phrases in communication, you have low emotional intelligence and need immediate correction.

1. I don’t change. This is who I am.

Emotional intelligence can improve over time as you learn and grow. People with low EQ tend to be rigid and resistant to change and development. Dr. Cortney believes that while self-confidence is important, being open to new things is equally essential.

Instead of dismissing feedback, you could say: “I need to think more about what you’ve suggested. I’m open to receiving feedback about myself, even if it’s hard to hear.”

2. I don’t care how you feel.

Dismissing others’ emotions is a sign of low emotional intelligence. Lacking empathy, especially when the other person is going through a difficult time, can cause relationships to stagnate.

In this case, Dr. Cortney suggests responding with: “I’m really sorry that you’re feeling upset. What can I do to help you right now?”

3. This is your fault.

People with high EQ don’t blame others. They understand that their emotions are linked to how they perceive the situation at hand. So instead of blaming others, you should say: “I’m not feeling okay right now. Here’s how I see the current situation…”

3. You’re wrong.

Dr. Cortney believes that people with high EQ don’t get stuck in extreme emotions. Instead, they focus on understanding others’ experiences and feelings. So, when disagreeing, those with high emotional intelligence might say: “I’d like to hear your perspective, even though we don’t share the same thoughts. Could you share more about this issue?”

4. Stop acting crazy.

Understanding others’ emotions without overreacting or taking things personally is a sign of emotional intelligence. When someone is losing control, a person with high EQ would say: “I know you’re not calm and feeling upset. But reacting this way won’t help achieve anything. Let’s sit down and talk.”

5. I can’t forgive you.

Emotionally intelligent people often put themselves in others’ shoes, which makes them more open to forgiving others for any mistakes.

If someone else makes a mistake, instead of overreacting, you might say gently: “It’s hard for me to forgive you right now. But I’m trying to move past these negative feelings because I don’t want to lose this relationship.”

6. You’re being unreasonable.

Emotionally intelligent people are skilled at analyzing the rational and irrational aspects of their own thoughts. They are also good at acknowledging others’ emotions, even if they don’t fully understand them. Overall, instead of dismissing others’ feelings, you might say: "I understand how you’re feeling right now and where those feelings are coming from. I completely get why you feel that way, but I want us to calm things down so that everyone can feel more at ease."

To enhance emotional intelligence, you must self-reflect, listen to input from others, and be willing to change. EQ is not a fixed ability, but rather one that can be fostered and enhanced over time. Learning to control your emotions, sympathize with others, and communicate with sensitivity can allow you to form deeper relationships while also improving your quality of life and professional achievement. Remember that our words and behaviors not only reflect our emotional intelligence, but also influence the environment around us.