What lies we tell, What truths we find

Well there you have it, the world truly is limited to just us in the USA. Nowhere to go. Well not that those places are not there still, just that we are neither welcome nor allowed. But let me back up for a minute. My name is Jude, I just turned 19. About 17 years ago things started to change, and not for the better it turned out. There used to be people who enforced the laws, I think they were called many names but mainly cops. Well this group had some bad people in it that did some very bad things, so the whole group of them were judged by these few. Of course, people were outraged at what was happening and what those few bad apples had done. People couldn’t see that it was not all or even most of them though and so they slowly made laws that did not allow those charged with upholding the law to do so. Eventually they were phased out. This started the chaos and the beginning of the downfall of the government and country.

After the cops were gone people started doing whatever they wanted, stealing, hurting others and causing so much damage. The states then tried to have private security companies work on restoring peace, as they thought this would go over better than the government oppression or the horrible things some of the cops had done. This worked for a time, until once again some bad apples started using their power to control and oppress others. In response to this the government tried to send the military troops to help keep peace and restore order. This ended up just increasing the hate for government and the troops were pulled out and dismembered due to the fall of government. It was then that we were left with nothing for laws or law enforcement.

The other countries had started closing travel from us, but once the government fell it was strictly enforced that all US citizens could not travel to anywhere. Planes were shot down when they tried to get out and the north and southern borders were closely patrolled, killing those who were caught. That left the people to form city state type settlements. In the beginning there was a lot of travel as those with like values and beliefs moved to congregate and form laws for their societies. Not everyone was lucky enough to be able to get to where they wanted to be, however. My mother and I ended up in a settlement in the middle of the country.

My mom used to be a cop, which no one here knows, or she would be killed. We live in a breeder settlement. Yeah doesn’t sound nice huh, it isn’t for women. Some women are very happy to be breeders. They are well cared for, pampered even, and never need to work. But I am my mother’s daughter and do not want to have my life reduced to how many kids I can pop out. At 18 girls are given a breeder number and expected to show up to one of the breeding houses for inspection at 19, which is where I am stuck now trying to pick one. Lucky for my mom she was long ago declared unfertile and given the task of caring for the breeders. I dare not hope for such luck.

Each breeder family shares a symbol they put on their doors when they need breeders. They are all horses, brood mares, but differ from one family to another. Almost like a coat of arms from the olden days. Each breeder wears her number in some way or another, mine is in my locket. It is a large and heart shaped and holds a secret. My mom snuck her fabric badge out with her when they got rid of cops. I cut a heart shape around it and painted the back to look like a horse with my breeder number on it. I thought this might be the only way no one would suspect or try to take it. My mom, ever still the detective, had worked for many years to slowly find those who had formed an underground of sorts. While the number of breeders was tracked easily by the breeder numbers, the individual was not. This had allowed for a way to sort of trade women.

There were women from other settlements that longed for the pampered life of the breeders and had no problems having many children. These were traded for those who did not want this life. In the last year my mother had been almost obsessed with finding who would do this, take me to another settlement where women were equals. While it would be noticed if she left, not being a breeder but a caregiver, it would not be noticed if I left and another took my number. She had finally found the family that did this through their many houses for breeders. The only way it worked was to get the same number coming in as out. So sometimes there was a wait until the numbers were right.

Mother had also discovered how women let the family know they wanted out. When women presented themselves to the breeding houses, they were expected to be clean shaven or waxed. This was to make it easier to check both for virility and for infections. The ones who were not shaven were stating to the inspectors that they wanted to go. This was a discreet way of letting the family know of their desire to leave, but not revealing it to others. The family had both breeders and those waiting to go. This worked as the ones coming in would become breeders to fill the family obligations.

So finally having this information, I decided to present myself, wholly unshaven, to one of the family’s houses that had displayed their symbol stating they needed breeders. It took me at least 10 minutes to get up the courage to walk up to the door and knock. As the door opened a grandmotherly lady with flowing salt and pepper locks greeted me with a smile and motioned for me to enter. As she looked at me, I felt I was supposed to be doing something, but had no clue what. The only thing I could think about was to blurt out that this was my first time and I had no idea what to do. She slowly reached out for my hand and led me to a ledger, where she asked me to write my breeder number into. She explained that this was so that they could keep track of who came, even if they were not chosen by the family. She then led me back into a beautifully decorated room that held a bed with what looked like stirrups for riding horses on it.

The lady must have seen the shock and worry on my face seeing this. She gently explained the process and what everything was. She explained that before a breeder was chosen for the first time there was some testing to be done, checking the virility of the woman. This calmed my nerves somewhat but left me thinking of the risk if my mom’s information had been wrong. Mom had said that the worst that would happen is being chastised for not removing the hair, especially as it was my first time. The lady asked me to undress and gave me a sheet to cover myself with. She was gentle and patient, but my nerves kept me on edge.

The lady explained then that she would be doing the testing and inspection. She walked me through the steps and asked if I was ready to begin. I nodded in affirmation and she began. Of course, she noticed right away my unusual presentation to inspection. She looked at me quizzically for a minute and asked me several questions, some very odd. After she seemed to be more comfortable. She asked why I had made the decision I had as well as what my impression of where I would go was. As we talked, I gained a better understanding of what differences there were and was able to see why others would want to change places, even though she did not want to stay.

It was decided I would stay with them, as a breeder does for the first two weeks, and that the next exchange I would be in. It turned out to be only 5 days until I was told the next exchange would be leaving that evening. As my excitement grew so did the fear, but there was no going back now. We were all blindfolded for much of the trip, which only made the fear worse. Finally, after what seemed like forever, we stopped and the blindfolds were removed. As we got out of the vehicle and looked around it was easy to see we were in the area between, where there were large open spaces often used for crop growing. I also noticed another set of women getting out of the other truck. They too seemed to be trying to gain their bearings.

Each group of us were introduced to those from the other settlement that would be taking us to our destination. They also made sure each woman understood the differing rules, laws, and expectations for where they were going. Once they all felt we understood, it was once again time to get in a vehicle. We were again blindfolded as we started the drive to our new home. As the anticipation grew it made the trip seem to take forever. Finally, we began to slow and were once again let out and the blindfolds removed.

I stood there in awe. The differences were obvious with much more color and art around. The one drawback was that I did not know anyone, except the two I had come with. The transporters showed us around and explained basic expectations and that they would pick us up from our residence in the morning. The three of us stayed in what they called a safe house. As we settled in, we talked about the changes and our fears. The next morning as promised one of those who had brought us came to show us where to get jobs, education, a trade or whatever we wanted to do. The library was a good place to research what we wanted to try in this unfamiliar world.

So, while there are good and bad aspects of this post implosion of government, I want to try and see the best. It took a while to try and find my place. I decided to not wear my locket, but to keep it close as a remembrance of the amazing woman my mother had been and what I wanted to strive for. This settlement was not perfect, but it was more of what my mother had said the old days were like. The country is still decimated by the upheavals and battles between the people and government, and we still are not allowed to travel outside of the country. Now though I feel like I have found my place and purpose, to build. I decided to study engineering, and I could not be happier unless it was to share this with the woman who taught me to be strong and independent, even if the world as she knew it was gone.