Eternal Blindness

Never had I felt such a tremendous burden. He was asking me to choose between all I'd ever known and all I'd ever felt. If I chose to keep my eyes closed upon him and the rest of the world, I would never see him, both literally and not, ever again. All my life, I had been taught that the alleged "sightrens" were malicious creatures, waiting to lure us in with their beauty and then destroy us; I had been taught that the world was a safer place if we just did what the government said; I had been taught that we should always, always, keep our eyes closed.

He could see my struggle for I was sure it was etched plainly across my face and my unseeing eyes. I had never seen him, not in flesh nor in the images plugged into my mind. The contact lenses placed into our eyes at birth, right before our eyes were sealed, that created all the images we would ever see only displayed registered people, not insurgents like Grayson. But he could see me, and I could feel him glancing at me, could almost visualize the concern etched across his face. Sure enough, a few seconds later, he placed his hand gently on my shoulder.

"Esmé." The way he said my name was so gentle, as if the word itself would be enough to break him. "Please, don't feel pressured. If you would honestly rather stay here, I won't blame you. I could never blame you. I understand, I'm asking so much of you and I swear, if I was a more selfless person, I wouldn't even offer you this choice. But I'm not. And so I'm sorry. Sorry for everything."

At this, I felt a prickle at the corner of one of my sealed eyes, and a tear formed inside my eyelids. It was too much. This last restriction was what made up my mind. What had the world ever done for me? It had closed my eyes and fed my brain with the government's portrayal of our society. Finally, someone had given me a choice and what was more, I was in love with this someone. Yes. I was in love with him. For my entire life, people told me to never open my eyes and stay away from the beings in the outskirts, for they would allure and annihilate me once I laid eyes on them. Their beauty was said to be enchanted and yet, I had never seen his face. Grayson had not enticed me with his beauty nor his magic, unless this was his magic, the magic that had made me fall for him and him for me. The stories were wrong; the government was wrong. The people in the outskirts were not the enemies–they were.

The ultimate defeat is the loss of control over one's life. And that was what the government had done to us. Stripped us of what made us individuals and turned us into sightless robots.

I couldn't do it anymore. I could never turn back to my old life now that I knew the truth.

I spun around and threw my arms around Grayson.

"Yes, yes I'll do it." I couldn't believe I was saying it and at the same time, I could believe in so much more. "I'll do it. I'll do anything to run away from my world with you."

"Are- are you sure?" There was still just that tiny hint of hesitation and caution in his voice as if he was scared I was lying to him.

Instead of answering, I grabbed the vial from his fingers and unscrewed the lid. Tipping my head back, I dropped three drops of the precious liquid into each eye.

"Esmé-" The fear in his tone stopped me in my tracks.

"Hm?"

"You… you took the wrong vial…"

What? No. How could I-

Right. Grayson had two vials. One was the one that had promised me freedom; and the other, the one that had secured my prison.

In my haste, I had grabbed the wrong one. I had taken the one that eternally sealed my eyes.

"No. No, no, no, no, no, no!" I was screaming and sobbing, unable to accept my fate.

Grayson tried to put his hand around me but I batted it away. I couldn't face him, not ever. My stupidity and rashness had taken away my only shot at being free with Grayson by my side. Now that it was gone, I had nothing to live for.

I couldn't go back and I couldn’t stay with Grayson. There was nowhere for me to go. With that thought in mind, I turned and leaped off the side of the ravine.

In the seconds that followed, I knew I was truly free. The wind ripped at me and the birds shrieked, trying, trying, to recapture me. But I was too far gone. My last choice was the only one I'd had complete control over.

And so I fell.

I fell farther and farther away from the lies and impurity that was humanity.

I fell away from the only thing I had ever loved.

"I love you, Grayson." The wind carried my last words up, over the cliff, to where Grayson now stood. Alone.

*Note: Grayson's name means "truth" while Esmé means "to love".