Emily

Welcome to Experiment 56820, formally named the House Experiment.

This is a study on memory consolidation. You might be disoriented and not know who you are. This is normal. For your participation, you were compensated $20,000 on January 1st, 2053. Upon successful completion of documentation for the agreed upon year, you will be paid an additional $30,000. This will be paid out in phases as you continue the experiment. This journal will be where you document for the next year, if you wish to complete the experiment.

Under the contract agreed upon on December 4th, 2052, you agreed that if you did not complete the needed documentation, you forfeited all freedoms to privacy in your home or in all public settings. This means that the Ynvar Collective can proceed to track you in a combination of methods including but not limited to video, audio, and imaging; with or without you knowing or extra written or verbal permissions.

Underneath this journal, you should see a smaller black one. The black one contains what you decided you wanted to keep in your new life and consequently try to trigger in your memories. We gave you only a few guidelines. Here are the instructions you received when filling it out:

Congratulations on making the choice to take control of your life! We are so happy to have you as a part of our Ynvar Collective family.

Be bold. Be honest. Be creative. These are our values.

You will still remember some things, but to delve further into that would compromise the experiment.

You can include words, full sentences, stories. You can lie to yourself. Include collages. Art. Even pictures. But you must fit everything within the size of this little black notebook, which is 60 pages long, 5x8.25inches. Please do not tuck extra sheets or pictures between the pages or into back envelope, as these will be discarded before they are returned to you.

See you on the other side.

Please date all your entries.

If you have any questions, please document them in the notebook. Thank you for your participation.

February 7th

Woke up feeling deranged. Is this some type of joke? Did someone kidnap me after I got amnesia...?

I opened the black journal. It’s empty. Is that the funny part?

I refuse to believe that I didn’t want to keep anything in my life if the little story written here is true.

Then again, if it were true.. why would I go along for this? I wish I would have been a bit brighter and answered these questions for myself at least.

Am I supposed to turn this book in periodically or what? At what point do you know I’m not cooperating? Do I have some grace period in this messed up game? Instructions unclear. If you’re already watching... what exactly is the point?

You could jot down ‘crazy’ already because I honestly feel insane. I’m talking to a freaking notebook...

I didn’t do much today. Not sure if I have a job. It’s a Tuesday. I guess this is my job. Any special skills?

I’ve searched this apartment for clues but it seems as though it was designed by someone too perfectly. It can’t be me. Unless I’m an interior designer... is that a clue without being a clue?

I tried talking to someone I met on my way out. Handsome guy that looked to be around my age (how old is that?! I can only guess with the crows feet that are starting to form). I don’t have a license.. is there a way to get some type of documentation that I’m a real human being? That would be nice.

Anyways, the guy, his name is Aaron. I chatted him up and he welcomed me to the neighborhood. He’s never seen me before but he lives a few doors down. I'm NEW here?

I don’t know who I was before, but I hate her for making a decision like this. I’m glad she’s gone.

February 8th

Mysteriously received birth certificate in the mail today.. is this journal being transmitted real time?

Also, I went to the DMV today and when I wrote February 8th, 2053, the girl looked at me weird and told me it’s 2013. Another joke? What is going on? You can’t do this to someone.

February 9th

Confirming that the year indeed is 2013. If I time traveled or there was some type of typo.. not sure which is more believable. If this is even true and you aren’t some pervert keeping me hostage after I lost my memory... what does memory consolidation have to do with this? Is this even legal?

I was able to access the bank account that belonged to the card finally. Thanks for making that easy too!

February 15th

I received your nice, threatening letter in the mail. I have not been writing because not much has been happening and I have been trying to live a normal life. Which I seemed to have made impossible for myself.

Trying to get a job is not easy without even knowing if you have any previous skills.

I figured out I know Spanish by overhearing a conversation and it automatically making sense. CAN YOU WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND HOW WEIRD THIS IS AND TRAUMATIZING?

No amount of money is worth this. I want to opt out. No threats this time. I can return the $20K if I can have my life back.

February 17th

For all the advanced technology that you have, your letters still arrive manually?

I did not read the fine print... that is your response? HA. I DIDN'T READ ANY OF THIS. I am not the person that agreed to this... and in a sortof messed up way, that makes my head hurt because going back to that person means going back to this decision.

As for the update you asked for, nothing has happened. I have now learned that I have a nice voice. I have been singing.

Anything else you'd like to know? I had peanut thai noodles for lunch. It didn’t sit well. The gas smelled terrible. I could not stand myself.

I have had no flashbacks or anything weird. No symptoms. Almost as if I was living a normal life. I gave myself the name Emily... even though my birth certificate came back as Samantha. I prefer it.

February 18th

I went to the beach.

February 19th

Sandwiches with extra butter are bomb.

February 20th

You know, getting your notes does not motivate me to write. Maybe you think it does, but it just makes me want to argue with you for a bit longer. Are we building rapport? NO. Do I feel like sharing my feelings? ALSO NO. So stop with the notes and maybe I'll share more about memories or whatever this experiment is actually about because it makes zero sense to me and is probably violating a lot of laws in the future timezone that you are located.

That is my favorite part of this story you are feeding me btw, believing that I time traveled here. Should I start telling people?

March 1

I honestly debated whether I was going to ever start writing again. I don't see the point. If you could please motivate me with a motivational speech.. some positive reinforcement.. SOMETHING that would prove to me that this is all for something. Am I giving up my life for the greater good?

But I'm going to write today. Because I'm going to pretend that you are doing this for some good. ANY good. I'm not sure yet what it is but it must be something.

I remembered something last week. It felt like a dream at first, but it kept coming up instead of disappearing slowly. As the memory set in, it just became more vivid.

I'm calling it a memory because I assume that's what it was... it could also be this experiment is getting to me and I'm filling in some blanks in my chaotic mind. Do you even have an idea of my past?

That's all I'll say for now. If you know, you know. Stop watching me and I will tell you more.

March 2

Appreciate the privacy. I needed that. I’ll be writing here more regularly now.

The memories have continued. I now understand why I left that life behind. What a nightmare. The fear. The memories. All so vivid.

I’m not sure I can have a clean slate like I seemed to have wanted.

March 3

I can tell you that they include a darkness that I never knew possible. I do not want to talk about them now, but I will. I appreciate your patience. Your nicer letters make me think we could be friends.

March 4

I will continue to update you on how I feel if that is what you want. Just tell me what kind of details you want and I will try. I don’t feel comfortable with all the details just yet.

I am a bit on edge. Paranoid. Angry. Not feeling like writing these days... I'm sorry. Please understand.

March 5

I was paid to write this and the last few entries. I am not Emily. She told me to write to you on March 5 telling you that she is gone, and you both know you won’t find her. She would be happy if you did. She said she’d deserve it.

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