Elysian Acres

Hello, I’d like to be the first to welcome you here to Elysian Acres. I’m Ana Vrin, creator of the technology that helps Elysian Acres perpetual energy sources be maintained so that you and your loved ones will thrive for generations to come. With all the innovation you’ll find in Elysian Acres, you’ll almost wonder where all the humans have gone!

But don’t worry, you’ve really made the right choice with Elysian Acres and even though work is something of the past, it doesn’t mean we aren’t here to help you empower your passions. With over 1,500 square miles of landscape to explore you’re bound to find the right place for you.

Kevin had heard it a hundred times. The self-promotional video was kept running twenty-four seven on the railway that circumnavigated the base of the valley’s potato-shaped dome.

He kicked his feet out and closed his eyes while Ana Vrin, her cheerily robotic voice, droned on. Kevin had the program memorized from beginning to end, he could hear it in his sleep.

Each custom home was built exactly with you in mind. You won’t find a cookie cutter in one of our neighborhoods. Our intelligent homes are specifically built to recognize your personal DNA and react to your desire. Oh no! Would you look at that?

A cartoon image of a farmhouse popped up on the screen and the front door flopped off its hinges.

Home repairs are a thing of a past. Elysian Acres homes are built to make their own repairs. Say goodbye to. Say goodbye to. Repairs. Say goodbye to.

The video had always had minor skips. Kevin grunted and kicked at the screen.

Say goodbye to daily chores or risks such as kitchen fires or basement floods. We have an AI for that. Which gives you more time to learn new hobbies, from gardening and winery to surfing and sky diving. Bookbinding, archery, taxidermy, competitive duck herding, soap making. You can find just about any course at Elysian Community College.

Maybe you’ll want to visit the Elysian Acres Zoo where you can see animals from every country including zebras, lions, frogs, trogloraptors, and Venezuelan poodle moths. Just to name a few. It’s a veritable Noah’s Ark!

When you feel like eating out, you can visit one of downtown Elysian’s hundreds of gourmet restaurants. Nothing but five stars in each of our eateries because food is always replicated to your exact taste. Not feeling like going out? Your home replicator makes delivery a thing of the past!

We realize that not everything is fun and games and sometimes accidents happen. Just pick up a phone anywhere you are and hit that red emergency button. An ambulatory bot is never more than two minutes away and prepared for any emergency. If you need to be transported to our medical facility, you’ll be assured to be in and out of one of our preservation pods in thirty minutes… or the treatment is free.

HAHAHA. Just kidding, everything IS free in Elysian Acres. We’ve never even heard of a bank. What’s a bank?

You can learn all about banks, cars, religion, democracy, and the moon in one of our many museums that discusses these and other long extinct ideologies! You can lose yourself in one of thirty-seven museums around the dome. Around the dome. Around. Around the dome.

The railway went momentarily dark and Kevin blinked. He adjusted himself and peered out the window as the rail gained speed and tilted upward.

Keep an eye out the window now. The tunnel you are going through is the first stop in the national parks tour! With an elevation of 14,000 feet the conifer forest stands the tallest feature in Elysian Acres with two different ski slopes, but it is only one of three internal manmade parks. You can also explore our temperature regulated rainforest or comb for seashells in the red sands of Elysian Beach. The weather is never a problem, our meteorology reports are always 100% accurate.

Not much for the outdoors? That’s okay. You can spend the day in the world’s largest library reading your favorite book, shopping at Elysian Hills mall, playing mini golf or laser tag at the family fun center, or watching movies at the downtown gigaplex.

The railway dipped back downward on the track and the pine trees began to clear into fields and farmland. Kevin yawned and stretched his legs. His stop would be coming up soon.

You’ll never be bored in Elysian Acres. If you can dream it, we’ve got technology to create it.

The best part about it all? Elysian Acres provides all your fundamental needs and you won’t need to raise a finger. Our technology doesn’t just create perpetual energy sources, it is able to constantly build, maintain, stabilize, and correct any issue that arises to leave Elysian Acres a perfect utopia for millennia to come. Elysian Acres is able to evaluate and recognize threats to its stability and offer immediate course corrections: natural disaster, meteorite, pandemic, biological hazard. Biological hazard. Biological.

We’ve thought of it all! As long as the sun exists, so will Elysian Acres.

Kevin had reached his stop and waited patiently for the rail doors to open. He was eager to get home, prepare a beef dinner at the push of a button, and take a nap in his favorite sunny spot. The railway doors opened and he exited onto the platform as the video started again on its loop.

Hello, I’d like to be the first to welcome you here to Elysian Acres. I’m Ana Vrin, creator of the technology that helps Elysian Acres perpetual energy sources be maintained so that you and your loved ones will thrive for generations to come. With all the innovation you’ll find in Elysian Acres, you’ll almost wonder where all the humans have gone! Gone! Gone! Wonder where all the humans have gone!

All the humans have gone!

The humans.

Gone!

The doors slid shut. A herd of ducks waddled by and Kevin gave them a courtesy bark as he passed them padding his way homeward. The evening sun warmed his golden coat and he wagged his tail the entire way.

THE END