Capricious Capricorn

Growing up in the Bible belt, I was generally taught that horoscopes were devilish generalizations that were written by woo-woo "experts" to entice and comfort the average heathen who had no sense of godliness and needed encouragement to face the day.

The older I have gotten, and after living in what the Bible Belt would consider the woo-woo capital of the world (Los Angeles), I have learned that horoscopes can actually be a useful psycho-analytical tool. Or, in the very least, my deep-dive into this Instagram-Explore rabbit hole has helped me learn a lot about myself in quarantine.

I have railed against my sign since I learned what it was. Capricorns are the "sea-goat," stubborn and headstrong with a stodgy, all-work-no-play stereotype that I have always shortened to "consummate professional of the zodiac" for ease of askers. Over time, more and more Capricorns have become interested in the zodiac, but when I was younger, it was very common to find my fellow goats balking as dramatically as I did about our shared sign.

As a zany, funny, very weird person, I fought tooth and nail against my Earth-sign grounded/disciplined description. I can be very irresponsible, dreamy, and creative...yet most of my friends would quickly mention that I am the "Mom Friend." Perhaps there was more to this classification than I had given the stars credit.

In fact, I am very driven, ambitious, stubborn, and pushy. I am the one in the school group project who does most, if not all, of the work and will allow for the others to add their names, provided I get top-billing like the movie-star I am for carrying the load with excellence.

I can hear my favorite tarot-card reader laughing as I write this Capricorn-esque thought process, and YES, I have even dabbled into the world of tarot despite my Christian values.

A quick aside here is required. In my life, I have learned that loving Jesus (and your neighbor, whomever that may be!!) is not impeded whatsoever by noticing astrological patterns and finding a sense of identity. Carl Jung found 12 archetypes, books on structuring fictional characters outline core "types" that repeat themselves, and most civilizations have seemed to have a zodiac of their own or some sort of pattern-based personality indicator. Heck, the Myer-Briggs and Big 5 types of personality quizzes, even Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Divergent, ATLA, and any other YA series with houses/districts/factions/elements all itch the same primordial scratch of the human to find a sense of belonging.

In a time of "unprecedented" everything, belonging couldn't be more important. So what if we blame Mercury, the ancient god of communication, for why a friend or love interest isn't texting back? It's a lot more fun to phrase it that way than grapple with obsessive thoughts anchored in abandonment issues. Why not say that Saturn's return is why my 27th year on the planet was particularly earth-shattering instead of facing unfulfilled passions square in the face at all times?

This is not to say I use the stars as an escape hatch, but the high-volume of issues in the world which were made abundantly clear in so much time cooped up to save our neighbors and friends, sometimes a step into something literally bigger and older than myself is soothing. I refuse to shame myself or anyone else for that, especially since playing with these patterns hurts no one and can sometimes lead to making real problems more digestible.

The more I have tipped toes in the waters of astrology, the more I have found a soothing aspect of star placements correlating with coincidences in my personality. It's also fun to see where I wildly differ from what has allegedly been thrust upon me.

The deeper sink into checking my natal chart to see what other planets and stars were doing at the time of my birth create interesting dichotomies and subsequent justifications for the wild differences from my sun sign.

One thing that has proven true throughout my star-gazing has been that the stars were right about my insatiable drive and need for success. I know there is greatness for me, and I have been hustling my entire life to keep up with myself. I don't even care what the world thinks half the time; I just know I want to succeed. The Capricorn stereotype that I want money is a fun one I break away from, as money is not where I derive value, but in relation to the life I want, I know my willpower and fortitude is what will get me where I want to go.

So where has this left me? Do I read my horoscope every day? No, not even weekly or monthly. But do I enjoy the memes friends of mine post that have made my algorithms generate ones for me? Absolutely. I don't care if someone tells me tomorrow that I'm actually a Gemini (hold your laughter, star sisters, brothers, and others), I will have a ball trying to use random balls of gas to explain myself.