Why Happily Married Men Cheat

Happily married men cheat. It’s a fact. A fact that surrounds me in my daily life.

As the hotwife half of a couple in The Lifestyle community, I have endured my fair share of advances from admittedly ‘happily married’ men seeking discreet relations of a sexual nature.

Let me be clear here. I do not excuse cheating, married or otherwise. In fact, I find it unbelievably sexy for a man to be faithful to his wife.

However, not sleeping with another, is not enough to be sexy anymore. I feel the sex appeal from a faithful, married man stems from not having the desire to sleep with others; and, a man remaining faithful out of fear, wishing he had the courage to act out a fantasy, weak.

Meaning, she makes him exude that sexy confidence because he is happily sexually married.

Temptation is everywhere. Greed is excessive. Cheating is a fact. And…Divorce is a thing. The intent of this post is not to complain, or judge, or “out” a cheating husband, but to bring awareness.

Having been married to the same man for over 25 years, I can attest that being faithful also comes with its own set of baggage. But let’s save that for another post!

Perusing hookup sites for swingers is a common practice in The Lifestyle community. It can allow us the benefit of anonymity and discretion while providing a plethora of luscious adult playtime opportunities to satisfy any kink.

It seems most of us actively search these sites for other like-minded adults who enjoy building long-term situationships. But, oftentimes, those situationships are made up of married men who claim to be happy but “play” on the side, unbeknownst to their wives.

The curious sexton in me needed to know the why. How? What drove these men to stray? Obviously, they are all seeking sexual encounters of various nature but, if they were truly happy, why risk it? And why seek out long-term?

I began to ask the questions and most deemed to be forthcoming with their answers. It wasn’t long before I realized that they all had the same commonality — no matter their individual reasons.

After countless conversations (upwards of 200) with men looking for sex outside of their marriage, the ones who claimed to be happy (almost every one of them claimed to be happy otherwise), say the issue lies in the bedroom. More specifically, that there is a sexual mismatch.

Digging deeper, I was able to narrow down five of the most common reasons they attributed to the mismatch which ultimately led to their infidelity.

Now, before I continue, I would like to point out that most of the men asked, did admit to it being more than one of the following reasons. After all, marriage is complicated and who am I to judge or try to limit a curious mind.

This is what they had to say:

(Listed in no particular order, pay close attention to numbers 4 and 5.)

1. Not getting laid enough.

This one is self-explanatory. For whatever their reasoning, married men are just not having enough sex. At least not with their wives.

2. Not wanting missed opportunities in life.

It turns out the modern married man is all about experiencing everything life has to offer, including its extra-marital affairs. The fear of missing out as they age is as terrifying for men as it is for women here.

3. Getting away with being bad.

Let’s face it. We’ve all been tempted by that little red devil on our shoulder at some point. In today’s kink world though, temptation is but a word. The boundless reach of the internet has aided many a fantasy-turned-reality!

4. She’s interested in “playing” too someday.

These men have all stated they have had real conversations with their wives about maybe one day exploring their sexual fantasies with others — together as a couple. This usually takes the form of the wife being bi-curious and the husband having the fantasy of being with two women. Or, at the very least, watching his wife fuck another woman.

In many of these cases, the wives had explicitly expressed interest in the “someday maybe” but were not quite there yet. Again, each having their own reasons such as the kids or work/family finding out.

But, in more cases, the husband often stopped “pressing the issue”, admitting that they did not want their wives to become suspect of their indiscretions, whether they had acted on them or not.

And lastly.

5. The taste for a certain kink.

Simply put? Traditional sex (if ever there was such a thing) is just not a goal left satisfied anymore. As The Lifestyle community continues to grow, so grows the desire for more kink.

In any situationship, it’s important to understand that kink can go from harmless flirting to the dark world of BDSM to a gangbang of 12 cumming all over her face while he is hog-tied to a post and forced to watch. To each their own…I don’t judge.

Now, kink comes in many forms. Mild to wild is an understatement. However, threesomes are a clear frontrunner when it comes to cheating husbands. Why? Safety and a particular fetish.

A common belief among married men who cheat is that having relations (sex) with other couples (making it MFM) is deemed “safer” where feelings are concerned. And, oftentimes, at the top of their list of fetishes.

Here, the primary fetish is the orgasmic pleasure of one woman being satisfied by two men (her husband and a bull ~ or ~ a bull while her husband watches…aka cuckolding).

Safety comes into play not with rubbers, but the mutual understanding that it is just “playtime”. Both parties arrive and leave with one goal in mind, “having some fun” and then living their separate lives. At least until next time.

In these instances, the ‘happily married’ man who is cheating admittedly does not wish to change his life. But, instead, wishes to add to it. The goal there is to keep both his home life and his kink life separate.

However, when asked if they’d prefer their wives join them in their naughty ventures, most claimed yes. Very few took an “I don’t know how I’d feel about her fucking another man approach”. But none said no.

The moral of the story you ask? When your husband suggests spicing things up in the bedroom, consider taking him up on the offer. Why should he get to have all the fun?