To Bi or Not to Bi…

Is this the new question?

Warning: It’s about to get graphic around here.

To Bi or Not to Bi. I know. Cheesy, right?

Yes, but…I’m serious. This is the question on my mind lately.

Hey there. I’m Nina, and three years ago, I kissed a girl. Actually, she kissed me. And, technically, she was a woman and a few years older than me. It didn’t quite feel like a Katy Perry song though.

What I mean is, I don’t really know if I liked it or not.

~ The Backstory in a nutshell.

My husband and I were beginning to push the sexual boundaries of our marriage.

I had connected with the husband of a couple on a popular hookup site for swingers. My husband was undeniably turned on by the thought of me fucking another man. Yes, I’m a lucky girl (insert smiley emoji here).

We agreed to meet this couple at the pool of the hotel we were staying at. Our very first time with our very first couple. We had no idea what to expect and nothing could have prepared us for what actually happened.

Unfortunately, I cannot go into detail about that here. However, I promise to share the details very soon. I know, disappointing. I apologize. I need to stay on topic. So…let’s pull your head out of that nutshell I put you in and just humor me here.

Back to the pool!

The introductions went well. We all passed inspection, so to speak, (you never know how a first meet will go…) and the conversations were flowing. As were the cocktails.

After a bit, I noticed the wife of the other couple getting a bit antsy. Maybe antsy isn’t the right word here. Ballsy, maybe? No, that doesn’t sound right either.

All I know is…her husband was on my left, my husband on my right, and she was kind of mildly dancing around in the water directly in front of me. I was speaking in mid-sentence (talking with her husband) when she lunged forward and kissed me right smack on the mouth!

Another first for me.

It was a fast, hard peck. And as quickly as she lunged forward, she used my arms as a stopper and pushed off from them as she hopped backward and floated away. It happened so fast that I didn’t even get the chance to pucker up and decide if I liked it or not!

With no warning and absolutely no warmup, the rest of us were left with no words. After a few seconds, and my brain shouting, “What the fuck just happened,” we all resumed conversation and swept it under the rug.

We hadn’t discussed what the dynamic would be between the four of us yet. Swap partners? Maybe. Orgy? Another possibility. Would there be a little girl-on-girl play? Hmmm.

That’s right. To bi or not to bi…

It‘s probably no surprise that my husband is also one of those who fantasizes about me being with another woman. Here’s where it gets tricky.

It’s not my fantasy. Admittedly, I have found women attractive, some even sexy. And some, I have even considered sleeping with at one point. But, that is as far as it has gotten. As such, he continues to express his fantasy and I am left to wonder if I will ever be curious enough to oblige.

Fast forward to today.

I imagine myself intrigued…yet coy, and an erotically, sex-charged woman inching toward me. She’s clearly flirting and trying to seduce me. She’s gorgeous. Playful. I become mesmerized by her movement as she leans in for a kiss. It’s sweet and I can feel my body heating up. She senses the subtle shivers as I’m aching for more. Our kisses get deeper and we begin feeling our way around. I release the button on my jeans, and she unzips them. Slowly.

The shivers intensify and I soon feel the cool contrast of her hand creep down into my panties against my warm skin. I gasp as she rubs up against my clit and slides a finger into my now sticky opening. With little effort, she finds a rhythm and I begin rocking into her hand motion.

Soon, I feel a warm wave travel up to my dizzying head. Then, more pulsating waves, shorter and faster. Before long those warm waves of tension come to a peak. Rapid breaths followed by several longer, intense groans and I let go . . . my thighs twitching as I embrace that sweet, sticky release.

Ok, so maybe I CAN fantasize about a woman. I’m beginning to see what the hype is all about. But, can I return the favor? I have absolutely no idea where to start.

After writing that, I may be willing to try. Can the real thing be as good as the fantasy?

Sorry, babe. A bet’s a bet!

A friend of mine has also been struggling with this question recently. In his case, he bought a strap-on as a gift for his wife to use when she had the desire to play with other women.

One day, they made a bet.

He said to her, “If I win, I get to fuck you in the ass.”

Without a beat, she retorted, “Then I do too!”

I didn’t ask him what the bet was about, but the details that followed superseded that curiosity.

To his wife’s delight, he lost the bet.

And…like any honorable man, he pulled up his big boy pants and paid up. Actually, come to think of it, he pulled them down (sorry…I couldn’t help myself there).

Armed with her strap-on, she entered him from behind. Expecting pain, he braced for impact. Slow and steady she began thrusting into him. But surprisingly, the pain was bearable.

“And then she hit the prostate and…WOW!” he informs me.

The sensation was like no other he had ever felt before. Unable to control his excitement, he let out a hungry groan as his cock was filling up and dripping pre-cum.

His groaning and oozing was her invitation to rev up the intensity and, she too, became enthralled; the mere motion of deep thrust bringing them both to orgasm.

The experience left him to wonder if a real dick felt the same…

Nevertheless, the strap-on has earned a place in their bedroom on special occasions. But, the curiosity doesn’t end there.

The tasty realization.

His wife occasionally enjoys sleeping with other men. Meaning, sometimes she plays the role of a hotwife where she dates and has sex with another man and comes home to her fully-aware, turned-on-by-the-thought-of-it, husband.

The morning after one of her dates, he woke her with a little oral stimulation. Waking up to his head between her thighs wasn’t really unexpected. He had done it many times before. But, this time, it ended differently.

As he demonstrated a skillful tongue (he’s very proud of his oral skills), she began moaning and twisting, managing to turn her body over. He hadn’t even realized the switch as he was fully immersed in her pleasure. Then, she began to drip.

That’s when he realized. It wasn’t her cum. It was the other man’s cum. The man she fucked just hours before. And…he liked it!

It was the first time that had ever happened and it took him by surprise. Her lover’s cum was a very different flavor than her cum. Different in a good way.

A new turn-on for him, he brought her to a ravaging climax as her cum mixed with her lover’s and he soaked it ALL up.

She wasn’t aware of the fluid exchange when it happened. But…after, he told her how much he enjoyed the taste of her lover’s cum. She got so turned on by his revelation and excitement that she demanded he get back down there and do it again! He willingly obliged.

His revelation brought about more conversation in their bedroom. She shared with him how it felt to have a man’s cock in her mouth and his pre-cum trickling down the back of her throat.

That opened his curiosity to having a man’s cock in his mouth and how it would taste…

What does all of this mean?

Well, he’s not sure. He does not feel any attraction toward other men. He can’t imagine he’d like kissing a man, or spooning with one.

But, undeniably, there is a sensationally-intense physical reaction that happens when said ‘bi-play’ occurs between them.

Favorably, she experiences intense pleasure as well from his recent revelations and they are able to navigate their feelings and desires openly. Together. Another relationship goal not easily met by most couples.

Maybe it’s a lack of communication. Maybe it’s the fear of judgement. It could be that many don’t understand their own curiosity in same sex relations. And maybe they are simply just not comfortable with change.

Have you ever heard of the term heteroflexibility? Up until a few days ago, I had not. Then, I came across an article on Medium written by Joe Duncan, an editor for the publication, Sexography.

He writes, “The term heteroflexible has entered the contemporary lexicon, erasing the binary that tells us that one must either be entirely heterosexual or entirely homosexual. New terms like heteroflexible have given people the freedom to identify with one type of sexual orientation while dabbling elsewhere.”

He goes on to explain in great detail that society is finally feeling free enough now to begin shining a light on the depths of exploration and the multi-level thinking around heterosexuality as a whole. It’s an interesting read and I’ve included the link below if you’d like to check it out.

What does this mean in answer to my question, To bi or not to bi…?

Well, I’ve come to realize this.

I have another friend I’d like to introduce to my friend who found joy in his wife’s strap-on (he’s also professed to me his admiration of the cock and what it would be like to take a big, beautiful one in his mouth)

I do have others I can talk to about my curiosity. My friends have shared explicit details about their private lives, their sexual desires and most-often-regarded taboo exploration because they trust I will not judge or exploit them. In turn, I am honored to keep earning that trust.

And, lastly…my newly made-up term that can be suggested of anyone’s sexual orientation…

The Curious Sexton

Defining our sexual orientation should not be a destination. We should take comfort in our curiosity, whether we choose to share our thoughts and experience with others, or not.

In the end, the choice is ours to discover. Get Curious!

And, as promised, you can check out Joe Duncan’s article on heteroflexibility by clicking here.