Why does she always refuse my sexual requests?

A woman once shared her dilemma: “Sometimes I take the initiative to be intimate with my husband, and if he says he’s tired, I understand. But it’s strange that whenever he wants to be intimate, I can’t say no. Every time I refuse, he gets angry and stays upset for days. Even when I’m exhausted, I feel like I have to force myself to comply. If I really can’t do it, it feels like I’m being raped. How can I refuse my husband without hurting his feelings?”



When a woman says, “My husband wants to be intimate, but I don’t know how to refuse without hurting his feelings,” it’s a sign that the couple’s intimate relationship is already problematic. If the relationship were truly healthy and intimate, the husband would easily understand if his wife is in a bad mood, feels unwell, or simply doesn’t want to. There wouldn’t be a need to worry about how to refuse. The fact that she is struggling with this issue indicates that there are deeper underlying problems.



**The Common Scenario of “He Wants It, But She Doesn’t”**



It’s not uncommon for a man to want intimacy while his wife doesn’t. If their sex life is generally normal, he should be more understanding. Perhaps she is just too tired. Maybe next time will be better. After all, modern women often juggle work and family, which is extremely stressful. If they also have children, it’s even more challenging. As a boyfriend or husband, it’s important to understand your partner’s feelings and consider her perspective. This way, you won’t be met with rejection. If your partner is really tired, try to understand why. Is there something you’ve been neglecting and leaving entirely on her shoulders? Or is there something you can help with? If she is in a bad mood, try to understand why she feels that way and why she chooses not to talk about it.



**What Men Don’t Understand About Women’s Feelings**



“Why does she never take the initiative, or always refuse me with a bad attitude?” This is a common complaint in sexual relationships. If you have these doubts, consider the following perspective from a woman:



“My husband never does any housework. He leaves everything to me. I’m exhausted from taking care of the kids and the household, while he acts like none of it is his responsibility. He takes an early bath and waits in bed. By the time I finally finish with the kids and the chores, take a bath, and am ready to sleep, he eagerly jumps on me. Of course, I don’t want to go along with him! It’s always a hardship for me and pleasure for him!”



Other complaints include men who love to drink, have poor hygiene habits, or don’t consider the woman’s feelings during sex. These are all things men often overlook.



To solve the problem of one partner wanting sex while the other doesn’t, it’s crucial not to ignore the couple’s daily communication patterns. The issue rarely lies in the act of sex itself. When a couple is generally happy in their daily life, communicates openly, and shares everything, there usually won’t be significant problems in their sexual relationship. On the contrary, if life lacks a sense of happiness, there is a distance between the partners, or the woman feels wronged, she might start avoiding sex.



Only when a woman truly feels loved and supported in her daily life, and understands that her partner’s desire for intimacy is not just for his own physical needs but also to enhance their closeness and emotional connection, will she open up and enjoy the intimacy he proposes, even cooperating wholeheartedly. This concept is not difficult to grasp, but few men seem to fully understand it.



**She Needs You to Understand Her Better**



Men should also understand that men and women have different physiological structures. You might feel the urge for sex at a moment’s notice, but she needs to feel emotionally connected from her mind to her heart to fully engage in sex. So, foreplay shouldn’t start only in bed. Even if you’re in a hurry, try to spend at least half a day preparing. For a married couple, if you feel like having sex today, start by doing considerate things for your wife, such as taking on some household chores, giving her a massage, gently offering her a glass of water or some fruit, or hugging and complimenting her when she’s tired. When she feels pampered and surrounded by love all day, rather than just being a worn-out wife, she will usually be willing to make time for intimacy, even if she’s busy or tired.



**10 Reasons Why Women Might Refuse Sex**



1. **Stress or feeling wronged**: She might not be in the mood due to life pressures or grievances.

2. **Lack of attention to detail**: The man might not be considerate, fail to set the right atmosphere, or have perfunctory foreplay.

3. **Monotonous sex**: The same routine can make it feel boring and unexciting.

4. **Lack of romance**: Without regular romantic gestures, the joy of love and sex can be forgotten.

5. **Unattractive partner**: If the man’s physique has changed significantly, it might affect her desire.

6. **Discomfort during sex**: If certain positions are uncomfortable and the man doesn’t care, it can be off-putting.

7. **Hormonal changes after childbirth**: These can affect her sex drive.

8. **Physical discomfort**: If she’s unwell, sex can be painful or uncomfortable.

9. **Poor hygiene**: Bad hygiene habits can be hard to tolerate.

10. **Unsuitable environment**: Fear of disturbing children or elders can make it difficult to relax.