Trisha

Trisha

Chapter one

It’s been two months since I lost the love of my life, Body. I feel as though a piece of my soul died with him that day. Paige and Alex have been so helpful, whether it’s cooking meals to put in my freezer or watching the kids so I can have a break. I still find myself crying almost daily in the shower. It’s the one place the kids can’t hear me. After the first couple of weeks, Paige managed to kick my ass and made me get out of bed. She reminded me how much my kids need me. The hockey season is just about to begin and the team’s owner Dean Winterhorn is planning a public memorial before the first game to honor the six men that lost their lives due to the bus crash. I’ve been asked to go as they will be retiring my husband’s jersey number to with the five other men’s jersey’s who were also killed in that crash.

I guess you can say I was the lucky one. Brody made it through the original bus crash and was in a coma for two weeks before he woke up briefly and I got to talk to him and tell him how much I loved him. Brody died of a brain bleed just two days before the memorial for the five guys who lost their lives when the bus first crashed. I am both honored and devastated to be asked to go and be honor in Brody’s place. I’m not sure the kids and I are ready for such a public good-bye to the man we all loved. Brody was the first and only man I have ever loved. It feels like half of me is gone. I look at my kids and see so much of him in them. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

The week before the opening game Paige and Alex come over for Sunday dinner. We’ve been doing this for several weeks now. The kids really enjoy seeing them and Alex has been a great comfort for them, telling them tons of stories about their dad, who was also Alex’s best friend and linemate.

“Hey everyone we have something to tell you,” Paige says excitedly.

“We’re going to adopt a baby,” Alex pipes in.

The kids start whooping and clapping. They are so happy that Paige and Alex will have a baby for them to play with. I get up from the table to give Paige a hug.

“I’m so happy for you guys,” I say, giving them a smile. It feels so weird to smile these days, but I am so happy for my friends.

“We started the adoption process just after the accident, We got a call yesterday that a woman in Ohio has chosen to give us her baby to adopt,” Paige gushes, her excitement overflowing.

“So when is she due? I’ve got to plan a baby shower for you,” I ask her.

“She’s due in December, so we only have a few months to get everything ready, and with hockey season starting next week, I really hope I can count on your help Trisha,” Paige turns to me with pleading eyes.

“Of course I’ll help you. I know I’ve not been the greatest friend lately, but I am really and truly happy for the both of you,” I assure my friend.

The rest of dinner goes by in a blur of happy chatter and celebration. I lie in bed that night and think back over the past few months. It’s really bothering me that Paige wasn’t sure that I would want to help her get ready for their new addition. Have I really been that awful of a friend? I wonder. I resolve to myself that I have to find a way to be a better mother and friend. Brody wouldn’t want me to not keep living. So far I’ve only been going through the motions of life but that ends today. Tomorrow I’m going to call the owner of the Phoenix Tornado’s and tell him that the kids and I will be honored to attend the first game of the season.

Chapter two

The next week we are standing on the red carpet rolled out onto the ice. The thunderous applause we are receiving is so overwhelming. There are so many signs in the crowd expressing their condolences for Brody. As Brody’s jersey is raised to join the others in the rafters, a few tears fall escape down my face. I swipe them away and hug my kids into my side. We step forward as a family and the kids get the honor of dropping the first puck of the season. Lance the new center iceman that now has Brody’s position bends down and gives the kids the puck.

“Make sure the three of you come down to the lockers after the game, okay?” Lance asks us. “I played with your dad in Montreal and he was a great man. I hope I can play half as good as he did,” he tells my kids and gives them each a high five.

I’m truly touched that Lance took the time to talk to the kids and invite us to the locker rooms after the game. The boys must have something planned for the kids. Lance is an excellent player, but it will be so hard to watch him play in my husband’s position. Just one year ago life was so completely different that these past few months feel like a horrible nightmare, and that at any moment we will all wake up and the bus crash will have never happened. Of course, that’s not the reality, it’s just so hard to keep moving forward.

The kids and I are taken by an usher up to the owner’s box to watch the game with him. I’ve been nervous all day. Other than seeing Paige and Alex, I’ve not seen much of the other wives and girlfriends. I just couldn’t face them, so eventually they stopped coming by. The door opens to the room and thankfully only has a few of the wives there with Dean. The kids run over to the table full of goodies and fill their plates as the game gets started. Tina, Grace, and Belinda all come over to me and give me a giant group hug. I nearly collapse in tears, but I manage to keep my composure and hug the women back.

“We’ve missed you so much Trisha,” Tina tells me holding my hands with hers.

“I’ve missed you all too. I’m so sorry for pushing you all away. I’ve been in such a bad place,” I tell the girls.

“We totally understand. We stopped coming by to give you space, not because we stopped being your friend,” Belinda says, hugging me again.

I’m totally overwhelmed by how lucky I am to have these women help me through this difficult time. The girls and I take a seat with the kids and watch the action on the ice. Just before I take my seat, Dean takes me by the arm.

“Hey, Trisha. I just wanted to say again how sorry we are for your loss. I wanted to let you know that you and the kids are still a part of the Tornado’s family. We’ve hired a counselor, Misty who has been helping the guys. I just wanted to offer you and the children her services if you all wanted someone to talk to. I’ve talked to Misty myself, and she’s amazing at her job. It might really help you all with your grief,” he offers me.

“Thanks. I might just take you up on the offer. I’m not really sure how the kids are doing. I was so out of it the first couple of weeks and by the time I pulled myself together, the kids are always trying to be happy around me. I think we could all benefit from talking to someone,” I tell Dean.

“I’m glad we can help,” he says and walks over to the bar to get a drink.

The game goes by in a blur and the kids seem to have a great time. I wasn’t sure if they would be able to watch the game with the same enthusiasm as they did before, but it looks like they are having a great time. The Tornado’s win the game 6-1 and the crowd is deafening. As we get up to leave, Dean stops the three of us.

“I know you’re heading down to the locker rooms but I just wanted to let the three of you know that anytime you want to come to a game, you just let me know. Even if you want to come to every home game, I will make sure we have tickets for all of you. This offer does not have an end date. I mean it when I say you all are still our family and we would love to see you here as much as you like,” he offers, the kids are jumping up and down with excitement.

As we wait outside the locker room, I decide to ask the kids about Dean’s offer.

“Sam, Brady, how did you enjoy the game tonight?” I ask them.

“It was so fun!” they say together.

“We don’t have to keep coming to games if you don’t want to. Mr. Winterhorn has made us a generous offer but we don’t have to come if it’s too hard for you both,” I tell them, bending down to their level.

“Mom, we really had fun tonight. Dad loved to play hockey and I feel like he’s here with us when we were watching the game. If it’s too hard for you mom we don’t have to come back, but Brady and I were talking during the game and said we would like to come back again, but only if you’re okay with it,” my oldest Sam tells me.

I pull the kids in for a group hug and tell them that I would love to go to any games that they want to go to. Just then the locker room door opens up and Lance comes out.

“Can you all come with me to the family room? The rest of the guys will be out in just a minute,” Lance says, taking us to the family room we’ve been in hundreds of times.

Over the next ten minutes, guy after guy comes into the room, dressed in their suits. Alex is the last to come in and has two large wrapped packages. He hands each one to the kids.

“The whole team wanted to do something special for you, Sam and Brady. Your dad was such a great man, teammate, and friend. We all wrote something special on the jerseys we had framed for both of you. They are things we each felt your dad would want you to remember. Sort of like words of wisdom, so you can look at it and hopefully know how much we not only loved your dad but love all of you as well,” Alex says with tears glistening in his eyes.

The kids unwrap the gifts and I let out a tiny gasp. The jerseys are absolutely wonderful. I read a few of the things written by the men and tears spring to my eyes. They have capture Brody’s heart well and left wonderful words of wisdom for my children to have forever.

“Thank you so much, guys. Reading these kind words and quotes immediately reminds me of Brody and I’m so thankful that you did this for the kids,” I choked out.

The guys all come by and either high-five or hug the kids. Sam and Brady look like they are having the time of their life. Both are hugging the frames close to them as if afraid they will disappear.

“We’ll hang those in your bedrooms when we get home,” I tell the kids. They both nod and Alex who has stayed behind grabs the frames and walks us out to our car.

“I’m glad you like the jerseys guys,” Alex says to the kids.”

“We love them, uncle Alex,” Brady tells him and gives him a quick hug. When he pulls back tears are shining in his eyes.

“You okay Brady?” Alex asks bending down to Brady’s level.

“I just miss dad. I liked being here today but I missed him at the same time,” Brady tells him.

“That’s okay Brady. I miss your dad all the time too,” Alex shares with him and pulls him in for a hug. “Anytime you or Sam want to talk, Paige and I are always here for you, as well as your mom.”

We head home and each of the kids picks a spot to hang their framed jerseys. They quickly fall asleep after such an action-packed evening. I head into the kitchen and open a bottle of wine. Tonight sure showed me how much I’m failing my kids. I need to do better. I think I will call Misty on Monday morning and make an appointment for us. I think to myself.

Chapter three

Monday morning, I decide to go down to the arena. I called Misty first thing this morning and she told me if I wanted she had an opening at eleven. I park the car and sit for a few minutes. Flashes of dropping Brody off for practice and picking him up bombard my mind. Tears stream down my face and my chest feels tight. I’m not sure I can do this. I lay my head on the steering wheel and let the tears flow. I sob loudly and let it all out. I finally pull myself together and decide to go inside to see Misty, though now I’m all red and splotchy.

“Hi Trisha, come on in,” Misty greets me warmly.

I instantly decide I like this woman. She isn’t giving me the pity stare I get from so many other people. I really feel like she wants to just help me. I sit in a chair across from her and she gets her notepad out. She reassures me that everything that is said is completely confidential and lets me know that she can work with the kid's schedule to have them come in first as a family and then once the kids get to know her, she’ll see them one on one.

“I don’t really know how to do this,” I tell Misty.

“That’s okay many people feel that way. We can talk about anything you want. You dictate what we talk about and when we talk about it,” she assures me.

I spend the next hour talking to Misty about the past few months. How I feel I’ve been letting my kids down and my friends down. How hard it is to get out of bed every day. How I want to be better but don’t know-how. She listens and writes in her book. She doesn’t interrupt much except to clarify a few details as I go along. I can’t believe when the hour is up. It flew by so fast. I make another appointment with Misty for the following week and head home feeling lighter than I have in weeks

Chapter four

I pull into my driveway there is a strange car parked on one side. I get out and walk to the driver’s window. It rolls down to reveal Dean Winterhorn.

“Dean, how nice to see you. What brings you by?” I ask him.

“I just thought I would stop by and see how you’re doing,” he says, as he gets out of his car and hands me a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

“Thank you. You really didn’t need to do that. Did you want to come in for some coffee?” I offer.

“Sure, if it’s not too much trouble,” he says, following me into the house.

We head into the house and I make two cups of coffee. I leave the cream and sugar on the table so Dean can fix his coffee however he likes it. I sit in the chair beside him and an awkward silence hangs in the air.

“Nice place you have here,” Dean comments.

“We like it. Brody and I were never ones to have a huge mansion. We always liked the simple things,” I say, taking note that Dean drinks his coffee black.

We sip our coffee for a few minutes when Dean says, “I was hoping you and the kids would join me in my box at this Saturday night’s home game.

I take a moment before replying, “I’ll ask the kids, but I’m pretty sure their answer will be yes.” I smile over my mug and note for the first time how handsome Dean is. He’s at least six feet tall, big chocolate brown eyes, and a chiseled jaw. I’m surprised some woman hasn’t snapped him up. He’s also a very kind, caring human being, as we have all witnessed since the accident. He’s always gone above and beyond. Dean smiles back at me over his cup of coffee and tension feels the room, as I realize I’m attracted to this man.

“Um, I don’t mean to be rude, but I have somewhere I need to be,” I tell Dean.

“Sure no problem. Thanks for the coffee,” he says as we head to the door.

At the door, Dean and I are standing very close to each other. He smells amazing, like some sort of outdoor woodsy smell. He leans into me and kisses me on the cheek before pulling me in for a hug. My heart skips several beats at the closeness of his masculine heat. Dean leaves and I tell him we’ll see him Saturday at the game. I close the door and lean against it. What the hell am I doing? I can’t like this man? Brody’s only been gone for three months now. It’s too soon to move on. I think to myself. I decide to call Paige and have her come over.

“Okay Trisha, I’m here, what’s the emergency?” Paige asks as she comes through the door. She takes one look at my face and stops. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”

“Dean stopped by earlier today. I invited him in for coffee. Then he invited the kids and me to the game Saturday night,” I tell Paige.

“Still not seeing the problem here,” Paige says following me into the kitchen as I pace back and forth.

“Well, I think there was a moment between Dean and I. Nothing really happened, but I think I might have a small crush on him, and I feel horrible about it,” I tell her.

“Ah, I see. You feel bad for finding Dean attractive?” Paige asks me.

“Exactly. Brody’s only been gone for three months. How can I find another man attractive?” I cry.

Paige embraces me in a hug and I let the tears stream down my face. There’s nothing like a best friend to make you feel better and understand what you’re going through.

“Trisha, I don’t think you should beat yourself up about this. Dean’s an attractive man. Brody would want you to be happy. I don’t think there is a time limit you have to seal your heart off to liking another man. When you’re ready, it will happen,” she advises me.

“I know you’re right but I don’t want the kids to think that Brody wasn’t the love of my life. Do we even get to have more than one love of that kind of love?” I ask her.

“One, don’t worry about the kids right now. It’s not like if you start dating they need to know right away. Two, I do think you can have a second amazing love story. Trisha, you are one of the most kind, generous, caring people I know and you deserve to be happy and have love again, whether that’s now or three years from now,” Paige tells me gently.

I know that she’s right. Brody wouldn’t want me to be unhappy. Who knows, maybe my feelings don’t even mean anything. I mean, Dean Winterhorn could probably have any woman he wanted. He’s a billionaire, handsome, kind, caring, and goes above and beyond for his players.

Chapter five

The kids are super excited for the game tonight. Watching from the owner’s box is really so much fun for them. I’m trying my best to stay away from Dean but I can feel his eyes on me from across the room. I look over towards Dean and our eyes lock for just a brief moment before I turn my gaze away. Suddenly, Dean is by my side and pulling my arm towards the door. Out in the hallway we stare intently at each other for a few moments.

“Maybe it’s too soon for you Trisha, but I think you’re a fantastic woman and I would love to take you on a date,” Dean asks me.

“I’m not sure that I’m ready to go out on a date yet. I feel like people would judge me for going out with someone so soon after Brody’s death,” I tell him honestly.

“What about a daytime date? We could just go out on a picnic. Something low key and casual,” Dean offers me. Dang, this guy is persistent.

“You don’t really take no for an answer, do you?” I respond.

“No, not usually,” he chuckles.

“Ok a picnic. I think that would be nice to get out and enjoy some time with a friend,” I tell him.

“Friend? Fine. I will take friendship for now. Whatever you are comfortable with,” Dean relents.

We go back in and watch the rest of the game. I’m very aware of where Dean is in the room at all times. I may have told him he’s just a friend but my body is telling me another story. How can I ignore how hot, and sexy I find Dean, as soon as the game ends I grab the kids and head out to my car, on the way we run into Paige, and she walks out with us.

“Hey guys, Alex and I have some news. We’re having a baby!” Paige gushes.

“We know the lady in Ohio is giving you her baby,” Sam says rolling her eyes.

“Well, yes we are adopting that baby, but we found out I’m also pregnant with a baby of our own as well,” she explains to the kids.

“Oh my God Paige! That’s amazing! I’m so excited for you!” I say embracing her into a hug.

Paige and Alex have had so much trouble starting their family. She had a terrible miscarriage last year the night of the bus crash, so the fact that they are going to have two kid's, is just amazing and wonderful news.

“I can’t wait to be Auntie Trisha,” I tell Paige.

“Did I see you and Dean talking in the hall?” Paige whispers to me.

“Yes, he asked me out. I told him I wasn’t ready, but somehow he got me to agree to go on a picnic,” I whisper back to her with a smile.

Paige hugs me and heads back into the arena to go meet up with Alex. On the way home I think about Dean and how amazing he looked in that suit he was wearing tonight. I go to bed that night thinking about another man for the first time since Brody’s death.

Dean’s hands are skimming my body. His kiss crushing my mouth. I kiss him back with equal force our body’s pressed together in the heat of passion. Dean kisses his way down my neck as his hand palms my breast. He gently bites my ear and I groan as I lean my body into his. I can feel his erection pushing against my hip. I reach down to stroke his cock…..

I bolt upright in bed. My heartbeat racing a mile a minute, that dream felt so real I need to take a few deep breaths to collect myself. My body is flushed from my dream and I can’t help but wonder what the real thing would feel like. I look at the clock and decide I may as well get up and make the kids a big hot breakfast before school.

As soon as I get back from dropping the kids off at school, the doorbell rings and there’s a delivery man with flowers. They’re lilies, my absolute favorite flower. I read the card and they’re from Dean, with a note saying he’ll pick me up at eleven for our picnic. How in the world did he know what my favorite flower is? I go jump in the shower to get ready for our date, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t cry while I’m in the shower. I dress casually, still trying to convince myself we are just going out as friends. I throw my hair back in a messy bun and put on minimal makeup.

Chapter six

At eleven on the dot Dean is ringing my doorbell. He’s dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt that is tight across his shoulders and shows a great set of biceps. We head out to his SUV and he takes me to the Phoenix zoo. He opens my door for me and I get out.

“I thought we were going on a picnic?” I ask him.

“We are but I thought it’d be fun to have a picnic here at the zoo,” he answers me.

He grabs my hand and leads me towards the entrance. A shiver runs down my spine with enjoyment. He takes us to a booth off to the side and speaks to one of the attendants. We are immediately let in and taken to a golf cart-style vehicle.

“I thought you might enjoy a behind-the-scenes look at the animals instead of just the regular walking tour. I heard that you really love animals,” Dean says with a sly smile.

“What exactly do you have planned today mister?” I teasingly ask him.

“Guess you’ll just have to wait and see,” he laughs.

We hop in the back of the cart and the tour guide starts the cart. I’m grinning from ear to ear like a child on Christmas morning. We see lions, tigers, giraffes, elephants, and monkeys when the cart comes to a stop behind a building. The tour guide leads us in through a side door and we are taken to the penguin zookeepers.

“Hi Trisha, I’m Hannah. How would you like to help us feed the penguins today? Hannah asks me.

I look back at Dean who is positively beaming. “Seriously? I get to feed the penguins?” I say practically jumping up and down. I really am like a kid in a candy store now.

Hannah leads me out to the swimming area where all the penguins are. She has a clipboard and we each have a bucket of fish. She explains to me that each penguin has a tag and they mark off each penguin as they eat. Hannah tells me not all of the penguins eat every time they go out with fish, which is why they check off which ones are eating to be sure that there isn’t a penguin who’s not eating at all. She has us sit on a couple of rocks beside the pool and we put our feet in the water. Penguins immediately start coming towards us. It’s the most amazing, exciting experience I’ve had outside of having my children. I watch Hannah as she feeds a few of the penguins to learn the technique. She then lets me feed the next few, and one of them even lets me pet them. I’m completely over the moon, beside myself. This is the most fun I think I’ve ever had on a date. After we finish feeding the penguins we head back inside and wash up. Dean is waiting for me and shows me pictures he took on his phone. I didn’t even notice him out there taking them.

“That was so amazing! Thank you so much!” I say excitedly to Dean, as I lean up and kiss his cheek.

“The look on your face is all the thanks I need,” he says, lowering his face and giving me a gentle kiss on my lips.

I instinctively step back. Not sure I’m ready for this to happen just yet. Dean seems to understand and takes my hand outside to the bleachers that surround the penguin area. Off to one side, I notice that a blanket and a picnic basket sit all set up. He uncorks some sparkling apple cider and we have some delicious sandwiches follow by the best brownies I’ve ever tasted. Once we are done eating we get back in the golf cart to finish the tour.

“Thank you for such a wonderful day. I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun on a date,” I tell Dean once we are in the car heading back to my place.

“I thought this wasn’t a date,” he teases me.

“I give in. This was most definitely a date,” I admit.

At the house, Dean opens my door and walks me to the front door. I look up into his eyes and he lowers his head and swipes his lips gently across mine, here’s my number. Give me a call when your ready for a second date,” he says, handing me his business card.

Dean gets into his car and I wave to him as I step into the house. Dean has made me feel like a school girl again. It’s a feeling I didn’t think I’d ever have again. I think I have to tell the kids and see how they would feel if I was dating someone. They have to come first.

Chapter seven

That night I make the kid's favorite, spaghetti, and meatballs. I’m so nervous as a make a Caesar salad that my hands are shaking as I wash the lettuce. I get everything on the table and call the kids for dinner.

“So how was school today?” I ask Sam and Brady.

“It was fine,” they both say.

“I need to talk to both of you about something and I need you to be very honest with me about how you feel,” I tell them, trying to take deep breaths before I pass out from the tension. “How would you two feel If I was to start dating again?” I hold my breath as Sam and Brady look at each other and I feel like this isn’t going to be a good conversation.

“What about dad? Don’t you still love him? I don’t want a new dad!” Sam cries.

“Sam, honey, I will always love your dad. If I was to date someone they would have to be ok that we will always talk about him and his picture will always stay up in the house. He was your dad and no one can take his place. I’m just talking about maybe just dating someone. I think your dad would want me to find someone who makes me happy again,” I try to explain.

“I think if it will make you smile like you were today, then I’m ok with it,” Brady pipes up.

“What about you Sam? Would you feel better if you didn’t know who I was dating or would you feel better if we did things with all three of us so that you get to know who I’m seeing?” I offer my daughter, realizing for the first time just how much I want to go out with Dean again.

“I don’t know if I want to get to know a stranger,” Sam tells me.

I take a deep breath and bite the bullet. “Actually, I went on a date with Mr. Winterhorn today, but I told him that I couldn’t go out with him again unless both of you were ok with it,” I explain and brace for their reaction.

“Cool, I really like Mr. Winterhorn mom,” Brady says enthusiastically.

Sam takes a few more minutes to ponder everything I’ve told her. “I do like Mr. Winterhorn,” she starts. “Maybe it would be ok if we all did some stuff together. Like maybe another hockey game, or does he like to play in the park? He’s always wearing suits. What if he doesn’t like to play at the park!” Sam says, panicking.

I decide to tell the kids about my date that day. They listen with rapt attention. Both of their mouths fall open when I tell them about feeding the penguins and I know that a request to go back to the zoo will be coming Dean’s way. I tell the kids I will call Dean the next day and see what we can do that all four of us will have fun at. I pull out the ice cream for dessert and the kids go wild. Dessert is a special treat in our house, reserved for special occasions. I even bring out the whipped cream, chocolate sauce, and some gummy candies so they can make sundaes. This is the best dinner we have had, by far, since Brody died. It seems that maybe our family is slowly starting to heal, even just a little bit.

That night as I tuck Sam into bed she grasps me into a big hug. “Mommy, do u promise no matter what we will always be able to talk about daddy and keep his pictures up?” she whispers in my ear.

“I pinky swear,” I tell her, as we loop our pinkies together and I make my promise.

“Ok. I like Mr. Winterhorn, and I do want you to be happy mommy, I’m just afraid that we’ll forget daddy,” Sam tells me, as tears well in her little blue eyes.

“Baby, there is no one in this world, that could ever make us forget daddy. No one. Ever. I can’t wait until you get older and I can tell you all about the things your dad did in high school,” I share with her.

“Can’t you tell me now?” she begs me.

“No sweetie. Not until your older,” I laugh and give her a kiss goodnight. “Now it’s time to go to sleep. I love you as big as the whole wide world,” I tell her, as this is our ritual.

“I love you big as the whole universe,” she replies. I turn out the light and shut her door over. I lean against the wall and smile to myself. Today has been a pretty great day. The kids reacted even better than I could’ve hoped for. I just hope Dean knows what he’s getting himself into. I laugh to myself and walk downstairs. I think I’ll call Dean tonight rather than wait. It’d be nice to hear his voice.

Chapter eight

Two weeks later the four of us go to the local arcade for our second date. Dean has been out of town with the team on a five-game road trip and has just gotten back. The kids are in seventh heaven. Dean has given the cards that he loaded up so that they can play any games they want. It’s an amazing afternoon watching the kids play games together and Dean made sure to play games with each of the kids and the four of us played Ms. Pac Man all together with Sam beating us all. As the afternoon is winding down, I tell Dean what a great time we all had.

“I’m really glad. I had a fantastic time too. Your kids are amazing, and man are they good at video games,” he laughs.

The kids come running up “Oh is it time to go already?” they say dejectedly.

“Well first we need to get our prizes to take home, but I wanted to ask you guys if you are all sick of me for the day, or if you wanted to get some pizza with me and go to the game tonight? It’s completely up to you guys,” he tells the kids.

My heart nearly explodes with happiness. Dean is really making sure that the kids are in control of how much time they are spending with him. How did I manage to get such an amazing man to look my way? The kids vote for pizza and the game so we head into the prize area to pick out our items. We haul our goodies out to Dean’s car and head off to get some pizza.

“All right guys, what are we getting on our pizza?” Dean asks the kids.

“Cheese, pepperoni, and lots and lots of cheese!” they cry in unison.

I shrug my shoulders as I look at him, “what can I say my kids are simple eaters.”

Dean looks at the waitress and tells her “We need an extra-large pizza with pepperoni and so much cheese you might just run out for the other customers.”

We all laugh at his description, but when the pizza arrives it is the cheesiest pizza I’ve ever had. The kids dive in and devour slice after slice. Soon it’s time to head to the arena and once again we get to watch from Dean’s owner box. This time Dean has popcorn and treats already set up at our seats for us and has Alex’s #32 jersey waiting for each of the kids to wear. The game starts and we are all cheering on our Phoenix Toranado’s. Partway through the first period, Dean grabs and my hand and pulls me towards the door. He leans over and whispers something to the usher who goes to sit with the kids.

Once we are out in the hall Dean takes me by the hand and pulls me around the corner into another hall that has no one in sight. He leans down and kisses me passionately, thrusting his tongue in my mouth. I kiss him back and put my arms around his neck, running my hands into his hair and pulling him even closer. We break apart breathless and panting when Dean leans forward and rests his head against mine.

“When do you have to leave for your next set of road games?” I ask him.

“We leave tomorrow and are back Thursday and Friday, then we leave again Saturday morning. It’s really a hectic week. Why do you ask?” he says.

“Well, I was thinking that I would see if Paige would take the kids one night, say Friday night and I could make you dinner and we could spend some time together, just the two of us,” I tell him with a wicked smile.

“I think that sounds like an excellent idea,” he answers and gives me a kiss.

We head back into the owner’s box before the kids start to wonder where we’ve gone off to. The team ends up winning the game and we all pile into Dean’s car to head home. Once we get there, Dean gives each of the kids a high-five, before giving me a quick peck on the cheek. The kids thank him for such a great day and we head inside.

Chapter nine

The next five days seem to go by super slow. Dean texts me every day, even if it’s just to say that he misses me. I know he’s extremely busy with the team so I try to be ok with the time he gives me to talk each day. I decide to make my famous chicken and dumplings for dinner Friday night. I even make an apple crumble for dessert. Paige comes over to pick up the kids who are thrilled to be having a sleepover at aunt Paige and uncle Alex’s house. Mostly I think it’s because Paige and Alex spoil the kids and let them stay up extra late. They think I don’t know but I’m a mother and I can tell when my kids are extra tired.

Right at seven, my doorbell rings and there’s Dean standing in the doorway with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for me. He leans down and kisses me right away and I hungrily kiss him back. We manage to step into the foyer and close the door without coming up for air. I feel like I’m sixteen again when I’m with Dean. My hormones always seem to take over.

“Something smells delicious,” Dean comments.

“I hope you like chicken and dumplings,” I tell him.

“Actually, I’ve never had chicken and dumplings, but if it tastes half as good as it smells, then I will love it,” he says giving me another deep, toe-curling kiss.

I put the flowers in a vase with some water and place them on the table. Dean comes up behind me and puts his hands around my waist kissing the crook of my neck. He keeps kissing his way up to my ear and my body has turned into a pool of jelly.

“Do you think we could turn down the dinner and maybe eat it later?” Dean whispers seductively in my ear.

“Sure, I made it in the crockpot and it’s already on the keep warm setting so it won’t burn,” I tell him. What the hell am I doing? Am I ready to take this step with Dean? What if I freak out? I think to myself.

Dean continues to kiss my neck and nibble on my ear. His hand slides up my waist and cups my breast. He gently runs his thumb over my nipple and it immediately tightens into a tight bud.

“How about you give me a tour of your house,” Dean suggests.

I look Dean in the eyes and summon all the courage I can muster and take him by the hand and lead him towards my bedroom. Dean kisses me slowly as his hand grab the bottom of my shirt and raise it over my head before he tosses it on the floor. I watch as Dean removes his shirt. A small gasp escapes my mouth. He is totally sculpted. He’s got beautifully wide shoulders that go down to a chiseled chest, a six-pack of abs, and that amazing V that goes down into his pants. I look up into his eyes and see hunger and desire staring back at me. I keep my gaze on Dean’s as I unhook my jeans and let them fall to the floor so that I’m standing in nothing but my black lace thong, and black lace bra.

Dean grabs me around the waist and kisses me fiercely. His hands roam over my breasts before he moves his hands to my back and undoes my bra, letting it gently fall to the floor. He gently lays me on the bed and his head bends to take one of my nipples in his mouth, and he sucks on the tight bud, swirling his tongue around my sensitive nipple. I arch my back off the bed and a moan escapes from me. He switches breast and pays equal attention to my other nipple. The exquisite sensation drives me wild and I buck underneath him.

“So sensitive, so responsive,” he says, as he kisses his way down my stomach. “You smell incredible. I bet you taste good too,” he says, as he removes my panties. Dean stands and removes his pants so he’s in nothing but his boxer briefs. He slides his hands up my thighs and

spreads my legs so that I’m wide open and vulnerable to him. He looks like a man who’s about to enjoy a feast.

He crawls onto the bed and gently swipes his tongue across my clit. “You’re already so wet for me,” he says, stroking my folds with his finger.

It’s been so long since I’ve had sex that I’m already panting with desire. Dean inserts a finger into my core and I grind against his finger, trying to get more friction, my body desperate for more. As he thrusts his finger in and out of my pussy, he sucks on my sensitive bud and I nearly fly off the bed, as I can feel the fireworks starting in my body.

“So tight, so ready,” he murmurs into my pussy. He adds a second finger and increases his tempo. Now I’m panting hard and I can’t stop my hips from driving down on his fingers. “That’s right Trisha, cum for me,” he urges. His fingers continue their assault on my core and when he once again leans over and sucks on my clit, the sensations are too much and I fall over the edge, my climax slamming into me and I scream out as I buck and shudder against his fingers.

Before the last of my tremors stop, Dean is positioned at my entrance. I’m not even sure when he took off his boxers.

“I need to be inside now, Trisha,” he almost pleads with me.

I grab his throbbing cock and give him a few strokes, as I nod my head in approval. He thrusts inside of me and I cry out. I’m so sensitive from my orgasm that I clamp down around his thick shaft, pulsating around him.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he says as he rocks his hips back and forth inside of me.

After only a few strikes of his hips, I already feel another climax brewing. Dean slows down his pace and slowly pulls all the way out before thrusting all the way back in, going deeper with each thrust. I hold onto Dean’s shoulders and wrap my legs around his waist taking him in even deeper. Each strike of his hips hitting the magic spot in my core and suddenly I’m exploding all around him in a second orgasm, clenching his throbbing penis, my cream coating him. Dean lets out a growl and increases his pace. After a few strokes, I feel him tighten and his release fills me. He collapses on top of me as his cock continues to jerk inside of me. After a few moments, he pulls out of me and pulls me into his arms.

I feel his seed run down my legs, but I don’t care at all. I feel so satisfied and it’s so wonderful laying here in Dean’s arms. Eventually, I get up and head into my bathroom to clean up a bit. I survey myself in the mirror and I notice how flushed my face is and I see that I have happiness in my eyes, something that hasn’t been there in a long time. I head back to the bed and Dean is propped on one arm, watching my naked body stride towards him.

“Sorry, I should’ve gotten a cloth to clean you. I wasn’t thinking clearly,” he says to me.

“That’s ok, it’s not a big deal,” I reassure him.

“I have to ask you something,” he says, looking suddenly uncomfortable.

“Okay, go ahead,” I tell him confused as to why he looks this way.

“I should’ve asked this before we did anything, but are you on the pill? I was so caught up in the moment I didn’t think about putting a condom on, I just wanted to be in you so badly,” he says to me.

“The doctor’s told me after Brady, I couldn’t have any more children. I had a really complicated pregnancy and birth with him, so don’t worry, we’re fine. I didn’t think about a condom either, it’s been so long since I’ve had to ask someone about it,” I confess.

Dean visibly relaxes with my confession and I lay back in his arms. We soon fall asleep and It’s the best sleep I’ve had since Brody passed away. I wake the next morning to find Dean gone. Tears spring to my eyes as I get up to check the kitchen. We never did eat dinner. I look out the window and see that his car is gone from the driveway. Why wouldn’t he say good-bye? Was last night not as good for him as it was for me? I think to myself when I notice a piece of paper beside the flowers. It’s a note from Dean.

Trisha, you looked so beautiful sleeping I didn’t want to wake you. I had to leave at five to get to the airport to fly out with the team. Please don’t be angry or upset with me. I would’ve loved to wake up with you but you just looked so peaceful. I had a wonderful time last night and will give you a call when we land. Missing you already, Dean.

Chapter ten

Over the next few weeks, Dean and I spend as much time together as we possibly can. Sometimes just the two of us, but a lot of the time it’s here at the house with the kids. Dean even got to finally try my chicken and dumplings, which he said were worth the wait, and asked me when I was going to make them again.

As December approaches I help Paige get the nursery ready for their baby to arrive. They have set up the guest room for Trudy, the girl who’s giving them her baby. She agreed to come and stay with Paige and Alex since Alex’s schedule is so crazy and he really wants to try and be there for the birth of the baby. We’ve just gotten the crib assembled when Trudy comes into the room.

“I think I’m in labor,” she says, slightly terrified.

“Oh my God!” Paige exclaims. “I need to call Alex, he’s at practice.”

“I’ll call Alex, Paige. The two of you just get Trudy’s bag and head over to the hospital,” I tell Paige, as I give her a reassuring hug.

“Thanks, Trisha. What would I do without you?” she hollers down the hallway.

Paige and Trudy head out to the hospital and I grab my phone and call Alex. I can’t get him on his cell phone, so I call the front office and let them know the situation. I know they will get Alex immediately so he can get to the hospital. This is so exciting! My best friends are about to become parents! They’ve dreamed of this for so long and been through so much. I can’t wait to meet their new bundle of joy. The nursery is only half-finished, so I decide to stay and organize the rest of the room so that it’s ready for the baby to come home. As I’m folding some sleepers and putting them away, it makes me miss my kids being that small. Sometimes I wish I could have another baby, but it’s just not in the cards for me. I finish up in the nursery and head over to the hospital.

A few hours later Alex comes into the waiting room and announces “It’s a boy!” I run up to him and throw my arms around him, hugging him so hard, he has to push me back a bit so he can breathe. “Do you want to come to see the baby?” he asks me, as he already heads for the door. He knows that of course, I want to see the baby. We head up to the nursery where Paige is sitting in a rocking chair holding the baby against her skin. They say this is a great way to bond with your baby.

“He’s so beautiful Paige,” I whisper, as I gently run a finger over his tiny little hand.

“I never knew I could love someone so quickly. I looked at him and my heart just filled with love like I’ve never felt before,” Paige gushes.

“Trisha, we’ve got something we wanted to ask you,” Alex says to me, standing next to his wife and new son.

“Sure, what’s up?” I ask them.

“Well, first we wanted to ask you to be our son’s godmother?” Paige asks me.

“Of course I will. I’m so honored,” I tell them, giving Paige a side hug.

“The second thing, well we want you to know that you can absolutely say no if you want to, but we would like to name our son Brody,” Alex says, as tears form in his eyes.

I stop for a moment. It’s like the breath has been taken out of me. They want to name the baby after Brody. He would be so honored. “Of course you can name him Brody! He would be so honored that you did this,” I say beaming at them.

“Brody was just one of the best guys I’ve ever know in my life. We went all the way back to the junior leagues where we played together and there just isn’t another person who could compare to Brody. If our son can grow into half the man Brody was, we will be the luckiest parents ever.

Paige hands Brody over to me so I can hold him. I’m so overcome with emotion that a tear spills from my eyes as I look at this beautiful baby. “Hi Brody, I’m your aunt Paige,” I coo to him. As I run my finger over his tiny hand, he opens his fist and clamps his fist around my finger. I completely melt and even more tears fall down my face. He’s just the most precious baby ever.

Chapter eleven

The next few weeks go by in a blur, between helping Paige with Brody, and spending time with my kids and Dean, Christmas is upon us before we even know it. I can tell the kids are a bit down that Brody’s not here to pick out the Christmas tree and to decorate it, but I try to make it as fun as possible, and I make sure it’s something that just the three of us do. While I’m in love with Dean, I haven’t said that to him yet and the kids aren’t ready to share special holiday traditions with him yet. He’s been so understanding and wonderful. I can see a future with him if he can just give us all time to learn to move forward.

We spend Christmas with Paige, Alex, and Brody and It’s a wonderful day spent making new Christmas memories and traditions. A few days later Alex has gone away on a road trip when Paige calls me.

“Trisha!” Paige screams into the phone. “Somethings wrong with the baby!” she yells panicked.

“Paige, what’s wrong with Brody? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s happening,” I tell her trying to stay calm.

“No, not Brody. Somethings wrong with me. I’m having awful cramps, and I’m scared. They feel just like they did the last time,” she yells, panic taking over.

“I’m on my way. Get Brody ready to go out if you can, and then get yourself ready. If you can’t do that, it’s ok, I will help you when I get there,” I say, trying to reassure her.

I race over to Paige’s, breaking every speeding law there is. I manage to get both Paige and Brody into the car and we head to the hospital.

“I haven’t called Alex yet,” Paige tells me.

“Do you want me to call him when we get there?” I ask her.

“Yes. If you don’t mind. I’m just so scared,” she whispers.

“You got it. Try not to worry Paige. Let’s take some calming breaths,” I say, as I breathe in and out with her.

We finally make it to the hospital and they take Paige into the back right away. I take Brody with me and we find the waiting room. I get out my phone and prepare to make the call I’m dreading. Thankfully Alex answers on the second ring.

“Hey Trisha, what’s up,” he asks me casually.

“I’m at the hospital with Paige. Brody is ok, but Paige is having some really bad cramping and I think you need to come home if you can,” I tell Alex honestly. I’m almost positive that my friend is having another miscarriage, but I didn’t want to scare or worry her any more than she already was. Who knows, maybe she’ll be ok. She’s just over 14 weeks so hopefully it’s nothing to be worried about.

“I’m on my way. Tell Paige I will be there as soon as I can,” Alex says and hangs up the phone.

A few hours later Alex appears with Dean by his side. Alex goes directly back to see Paige and Dean sits with me. Brody is asleep in his car seat. “Dean I have to tell you something,” I say. “I don’t know how this happened, but I haven’t been feeling very well so I went to the doctor’s and it turns out, I’m pregnant,” I say cringing at the words. Dean just sits there for a few moments before he picks me up and swings me around.

“Seriously, you’re really pregnant,” he says with joy across his face.

“I’m totally serious. I just found out yesterday and I was going to tell you when you got home in a few days, but since you’re here now, I didn’t want to wait,” I tell him. “But if we can keep this to ourselves for now, I’d appreciate it. I don’t want to make Paige and Alex feel even worse if their baby isn’t ok,” I explain.

“I absolutely agree. How do you feel about having our baby,” he asks me gently.

“At first I was a bit freaked out, but I love you Dean, and I’m happy to be having a baby with you. I just hope the kids take the news well, when we tell them,” I say.

Just then Alex comes into the waiting room, looking as pale as a ghost. He collapses in a chair across from us and hunches over in the seat.

“They can’t find a heartbeat. They can’t find a heartbeat,” he repeats.

“Oh God Alex, I’m so sorry,” I tell him. “How’s Paige holding up?” I ask.

“They had to sedate her she was so hysterical,” he answers choking on his tears.

I move across the chairs and hug Alex. While they have Brody, I know how much they were looking forward to having their own child as well. I offer to take Brody for him but Alex asks that I leave Brody with him. I tell Alex to call if they need anything, but I need to get home before the kids get home from school.

Dean follows me to the house and once inside I break down and cry for my friend. Dean holds and lets my tears flow freely.

“It’s not fair. I can’t believe this is happening to them again,” I cry. “I can’t tell them I’m pregnant now, it’ll just hurt them.”

“It’s going to be ok. I’m here for you, the kids and the baby. I love you Trisha and I will always do everything I can to make you happy,” Dean tells me. “I think I’ve loved you since our first date. You’re the strongest, most caring, giving, fantastic mother, that I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you even look my way. I want to spend every day making you as happy as you make me.

“You do make me happy,” I tell him.

Dean kneels down in front of me and I let out a gasp.

“I don’t have a ring yet, but Trisha, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?” Dean asks me.

Before I can answer the kids coming running through the door excited that they see Dean’s car in the driveway.

“Are you staying for dinner?” Sam asks excitedly.

“That depends on what your mom says. Am I staying for dinner?” he asks with a sly smile.