Tinder Shenanigans

Oh boy I still remember this one like it was yesterday (nervous laughter). I swiped right and matched this guy, let’s call him Colson for his identity perfection. Well he super liked me and I have to say that was the first time I wasn’t disappointed/ afraid by a super like because let’s face it, the ones who super like us either have a weird fetish while also looking like they’re going to kill us or they’re just not our type... at all.

So he messaged me and we talked for maybe like a week and some days via the good ole Snapchat before we decided to meet up. Here’s where I started to make the reckless decisions you all came here to read about. While talking to him I pretty much peeped every story he posted, trying to get more of an idea of the type of person he was because let’s face it, people are over honest on Snapchat, especially on those private stories! Well in a lot of his stories I came to find out this guy is wild as hell and definitely someone I wanted to experience as I just turned 18 and I have daddy issues; don’t @ me.

How was he wild Briella you may be asking yourself? This guy posted those kinda parties on his STORY. And I’m pretty sure it was his regular story. These events took place at his house. He also smoked weed, did acid, had great taste in edm, and on top of that, had those color changing led lights that suck everyone in I don’t care who you are, we’ve all fallen victim to “the lights”. Since I wake up every morning and drink dumb bitch juice I thought “wow he seems like a vibe!”

Well that vibe comes to pick me up after I made an elaborate lie about who he was to my mom so that she would question a guy coming to pick me up at 10:30pm on a school night. I’m pretty sure I said he was my best friends cousin and he was coming to pick me up and bring me to her house. That was far from the truth. About 30 minutes far. I’m pretty sure he held my hand and I was like woah I’m so confused (later came to find out that tinder match hand gesture means they’re going to wreck you later). Any who we pull up to his house and he gives me a little tour and I meet his cat named bamf which means bad ass mother fucker! Which I had no idea and thought was soo cool. We head back to his room and he had the lights going, the music ready to be played, his bed was low to the ground and he had tapestries on the wall and your average pot head decor. He popped the lights on so we could take a dab before the festivities began. I had shirts on and this guy drops HOT dab wax on my thigh then proceeds to use rubbing alcohol to take it off.. he apologizes then flips the lights back off and instantly all was forgiven.

We get on his bed and we start making out. I’m literally having the time of my life and we’re only making out, that’s how innocent I was. I was innocent but also a Scorpio so that combination didn’t last long. Then he gets up and goes to this drawer where there is literally a box of 25 Trojans that supposedly he had “just bought the other day” and there’s a bright pink vibrator and you know that oh no oh no oh no no no no no song that we all know and love from tik tok? That started playing in my head because I had never used anything like that and I did not think I was ready for it either.

I made him wash it and put a wrap it up because I’d seen his stories and wasn’t trying to risk it. We proceeded and let me just say I learned why housewives sit on their washer machines. Between the music lifting me up and the vibrator taking me to outer space, I didn’t think it could get better. BOY was I wrong! When we actually went to do the do and he flipped me over my little mentality was solidified that day. If I remember correctly I’m pretty sure he cuffed me. After we did the do and he took me to Mars, we talked for a little bit then he took me home.

About a week after then we linked up again. This time we went to go chill at a boat park in his truck or so I thought. We get there and we’re vibin listening to music and he rolls up. We start smoking and something along the lines of being treated like a queen or trEATED like a queen came up and I said I hadn’t been. Colson gets out the car, walks around to my door, pulls me pants down and eats me out while I’m smoking some mj and looking up at the stars. Talk about empowerment! He sits up to grab the jay from me and all of the sudden a cop pulls up.

I’m sitting here pants less with a towel thrown over my lap holding in smoke, Colson quickly puts the blunt out and starts walking towards the back of his truck where the cop is. The officers says how you doing tonight? And I shit you not this was Colson response: “doing good officer, my friends in a wheelchair so I thought I’d get her out of the house and take her fishing.” The officer didn’t even come over to me he just said that’s nice, have a good night! And left. Colson and I waited for the cop to leave and we laughed so hard and sparked up again. Oh did you think we’d leave after that? You thought wrong. We dang sure stayed and he wrecked me once again.

About another week or so goes by and he hits me up as I’m getting out the shower.

“Hey what are you up to?”

Nothing much just got out the shower wbu?”

“I wanted to hanggg”

“Well my parents aren’t home so you can even park in the driveway if you want’

“Okay I’m on my way”

When I tell you this boy got to me in 10 minutes I’m not joking. I had only brushed my hair and put a tshirt on then boom he’s pulling in my driveway. I go to let him in and I say let me go fin getting dressed. Finish getting dressed? Jokes on me. He picks me up out my chair and lays me on the loung part of the couch. My parents just bought that sectional and Colson and I broke that thing in. He once again you guessed it, wrecks me in the best way all with less than 30 minutes to spare before my mom got home.

Why did we stop these cinematic hook ups you may be wondering? Turns out my best friend matched with him on tinder after him and I’s third exploration and they had planned to hang out, her not knowing we were talking to the same Colson and him not knowing she was my best friend. So when I found out that it’d bit of information I cut the ties with him. Didn’t to take my chances of having that awkward conversation with him or anything else for that matter.

If you liked this story be sure to come back for more stories you probably weren’t expecting from a girl in a wheelchair!