The Simple Philosophy of Oral Sex

“Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.”

― Anaïs Nin, Delta of Venus

Sex can be as casual or as meaningful as we make it. A bit like life really. Some of us are very well capable of experiencing a whole lifetime of skimming. Barely grazing the surface of what it really means to know deep love and live our fullest potential. The surface can be as deep or as shallow as you want it to be. A bit like oral sex really. We get to choose how far we want to take our lovemaking and how much heart we want to invest in our sexuality. We get to decide who is worth risking entry into our soul, if at all. Sex may only be a means to an end for some, but for others, it can be so much more. With the right partner, our lovemaking can take us on a fervid, expressive journey like no other, and so can the simple philosophy of oral sex.

“When I’m good, I’m very good, but when I’m bad, I’m better.”

― Mae West

Oral sex has a great polarity component in that the thought of doing it with the wrong person is disgusting. Whereas, going down on the right person, where revulsion could be at its peak, we instead feel total acceptance, closeness and perfectly liberated. Oral sex with someone you love is an act which, with anyone else, could be offensive. The level of intimacy required to perform the “dirty” deed inevitably seals the nature of a relationship to one of high privilege.

Such is the gift of our most intimate kiss.

Okay, I know. A good portion of society tells us that oral sex is a dirty thing to do. Well, mentioning sex in general is enough to raise the hairs of the stuffy-conservative types, really. The taboo-fearing people are frequently talking about what’s right and wrong, good and bad, acceptable or unacceptable. As if we came into this lifetime to adhere to someone else’s idea of what constitutes decency.

Just for the record, decency has nothing to do with societal rules – about sex or otherwise – conformity or stale regulations, and everything to do with the quality of someone’s heart and the degree in which they know empathy.

Another notch for the personal record? Empathy doesn’t judge a person’s way of being, blame or cancel someone out, or practice spitefulness at all for that matter. It’s a “live and let live” mentality that I’m afraid is a dying breed in this day and age. What with the social radical movements of late and other unsavory things playing out between us…

Empathy is acceptance.

From the moment we’re born, acceptance is what we all crave, right?

We can’t find what we crave by looking toward the outside world. There is rejection at every corner out there. True acceptance can’t be discovered in the fancy online communities we form or in the people seeking to gain something from being connected to us. It’s not always found in the closest people in our lives, either. Not when they resist who we really are or where we need to be in our own life journey.

More fearful scenes in our face?

The truth is that the do-gooders of the world are so busy dictating the rules between what’s considered inappropriate and appropriate behavior that for the most part, we all end up existing between the cruddy folds of a shit-sandwich. That’s a whole lot of negging, manipulation and gaslighting to swallow for sure.

Much better to live our truths and swallow “dirty love”, if you ask me.

The simple philosophy of oral sex is:

Dirty Love

“Sex liberates us for a time from that punishing dichotomy between dirty and clean.”

— The School of Life

Our normal lives continually call for us to repress all that is “dirty” and “bad” within us — things like our lust and deepest desires, recklessness, vulnerabilities, rage, and sometimes, even love. It’s got to the point where it is impossible for us to reveal who we really are and be accepted by society at the same time.

Oral sex is unique in that the act is a passport to our secret “bad and dirty” selves — who we are away from the glare of the outside world. The part of ourselves we reserve for, and reveal only to our lovers. It is truly an exquisite and intimate passage witnessed, appreciated and endorsed by someone we love.

In fact, a study has revealed that oral sex can actually measure the level of our affection and dedication for our partner, suggesting that genital lip service has long been known as an ultimate act of intimacy, desire and trust in a relationship.

That doesn’t sound so dirty now, does it?

Deep Love

The philosophy of oral sex goes even deeper. Apparently, the delicate balance of who’s doing more of the giving versus taking of oral sex in a relationship is a clear indication of the degree of love for the other.

This is what Life and Relationship expert, Sigurd Vedal had to say about it:

“When you’re desperately in love with someone, your desire is so strong you want to eat them, taste them, consume every part of them. It’s a sign of love, desire and admiration.”

When we open our body and expose ourselves and our tender parts to deep feeling, desire and penetration, it is an act of vulnerability that demands acceptance. Moreover, when the level of selfless love is reciprocated evenly between a couple, deeper patterns of their love are naturally formed – that’s acceptance and universal magic right there.

Think of it like an energetic ripple love-effect vibrating positive karma into the world. It’s the explicit, real stuff that changes how we love on this planet.

Do-gooders be damned. Deep love is where it’s at, baby.

Mutual Love

“It makes me feel really close to the woman I’m giving oral to. You have to feel comfortable with someone to let them lick your genitals, right?”

— Carlos S

Carlos is so right. You cannot get any closer to your lovers’ mysterious essence via the center of their body.

For a woman, we’re talking about the elemental support of all life. The regenerative powers and connection to Mother Earth all tied up in a lush, fleshy bow between a woeful pair of thighs.

For a man, we are honoring his lifeforce energy and masculine vivacity. The physical expression of his fiery love and deepest connection to his primal spirit and sensuality.

Together, through the act of soulfully-infused sexuality and the willingness to taste the other’s nectar, the pairing makes for a transcendental journey toward mutual love and utter acceptance.

More from The School of Life:

“The bond of loyalty between a couple grows stronger with every increase in explicitness. The more unacceptable our behavior would be to the larger world, the more we feel as if we are building a haven of mutual acceptance.”

Tasting, sensing and trusting your lover is the very private and sacred sanctuary reserved for the deeply-passionate connected couple.

Love is the most potent motivator of passion and sexual desire. More so when qualified with a harmonic, mutually respectful and balanced relationship. That is, when the desire to please and satisfy each other is an identical match. It becomes a process capable of making greater love for the world while at the same time, unlocking pieces of yourself through an “accepting” lover. This, with a present partner who touches you from the inside out.

The secret to oral sex is about a lover with a slow hand, an intuitive tongue, sensual lips and a whole lot of soul. The simple philosophy of oral sex is about complete acceptance.

In a world brimming with fast-to-condemn strangers, outrage culture and surface-level connection, sex can be as casual or as meaningful as we make it….