Rebound vs. Breakup Sex: My Sex Stories After Bad Breakups

Sex with My Ex: The Trap I Couldn’t Escape

I’ve always been a relationship person, moving from one relationship to the next. Not all of them were meaningful, so the breakups didn’t always feel intense. But when my first long-term relationship ended, I was absolutely devastated. I had a baby who was just three weeks old at the time of the breakup, which made everything even harder to process.

I was so in love that I wasn’t ready for anything new, not even casual sex. My ex had broken up with me, but he still wanted to keep having sex. It didn’t take much for me to agree to the breakup sex. At the time, he was the best lover I’d ever had. We’d spend hours naked, making love over and over again. I was in my early twenties, and he opened my world to all kinds of sexual experiences.

He introduced me to everything—watching porn, recreating scenes, even my first facial cumshot and anal experiences. Sex with him made me feel on top of the world. I convinced myself it wasn’t hurting me to keep sleeping with him, especially since I didn’t believe I’d ever find someone who could match his sexual energy.

But deep down, I was fooling myself. I still loved him and thought that maybe, just maybe, the sex would bring us back together. We kept hooking up for over a year. But he never came back to me, and each time I tried to make it more than just sex, I was left heartbroken.

Eventually, I hit my breaking point and cut him off completely. I threw myself into work and, surprisingly, didn’t date or sleep with anyone for 18 months. My celibacy was partially fueled by the fact that I had a baby and was breastfeeding at the time.

I was completely celibate, and I believe it was because my constant disappointment and frustration had left me mentally and emotionally drained. By keeping him close, I had dragged out the breakup and never allowed myself to heal. It felt like I was living the breakup on a loop, day after day.

The biggest lesson I learned from that whole experience? Breakup sex is a terrible idea if you still have unresolved feelings for your ex. It only prolongs the pain.

Chasing Numbness: How Rebound Sex Masked My Loneliness

After breaking up with my last ex, I had a completely different experience. This relationship was intense, and I was madly in love. We broke up because I cheated, and there was no going back from that.

I was devastated and in pain. To distract myself from the heartbreak, I dove headfirst into a wild slut phase right after the breakup. I isolated myself from my loved ones and only got out of bed to hook up with random strangers.

I went all out with the rebound sex. I wasn’t just hooking up with random guys; I was reckless with my health, often having unprotected sex while drunk.

Honestly, I had some wild experiences that checked off almost all my sexual fantasies—threesomes, group sex, gang bangs—but none of it filled the emptiness I felt inside.

Many of the guys I hooked up with told me I was being self-destructive, but I was in denial, convinced I loved being a slut. I painted myself as this insatiable whole who couldn’t get enough dick. I bounced from one dick to the next, usually left unsatisfied and convincing myself I felt no remorse. Deep down, though, I was incredibly lonely, trying to cope by making all these men happy through sex.

I almost doubled my body count in just a year after the breakup. Some nights, I’d have sex with more than three guys back-to-back. It was exciting to wake up to multiple good morning texts from different men, and it distracted me from missing a real relationship.

Every time a guy did something nice for me, I’d convince myself he had feelings for me and was some kind of friend who wanted to save me from my madness. But I pushed away anyone who showed genuine interest in pursuing a relationship or tried to point out that I was harming myself.

I finally came to my senses after experiencing the consequences of treating my body poorly. My health took a significant hit from a sexually transmitted infection and the eating disorders I was struggling with. It wasn’t until I woke up in extreme pain from a cyst rupture that I realized I needed to change. My body was crying out for help.

Now that I’ve healed from the breakup and am almost fully recovered from the eating disorder, I see that I should have given myself time to heal. There’s probably no harm in rebound sex as long as you’re truly ready to move on and are mindful of your mental health.