Missing You

In what was the worst moment of my life .. when I called you, whispered in to the phone "Come to me babygirl." I should have. Instead I grabbed my bear you named J. Edger Hoover, and your shield you gave me in place of my collar until you could find the right one and curled up in my bed. 

I miss you. I miss walking around your house in your tee-shirt, you sitting on your couch asking me to come here. Me walking over and your hands moving up my thighs. Me staring at you and straddling you. The exhale as you enter me. The feeling of complete trust and peace. Your hands grabbing my hair, and pulling my neck back, your mouth on my neck. Biting me. For a rare moment, I don't have to think or feel anything but you inside of me. 

  Every time I eat sushi, I remember you eating it off my body in your apartment. I remember you dousing me in champagne and eating caviar off of my breasts. I remember every detail of you. The strength in your arms, you wiping away any tear that fell with your thumb, me waking in the middle of the night with your hand on my breasts, entwined in my piercings. 

 I remember your mouth and your body in every detail just like I remember you calling in the middle of the night struggling to figure out how and why someone had hurt someone else. Groggily, tripping over covers and cats to get to the fridge to get coffee and turn on my computer with your voice licking my ear through the phone, trying to turn off my urge to get you to have phone sex with me instead of looking over a witness statement or crime scene photo. Even thinking of you now, I still have that feeling, that quiver that you could only give me, a warm sensation rising in my face and my body. We would talk for hours about your work, and somewhere in the conversation I would say "What about this? or "this seems off ", "something about the syntax seems like.." and you would say.. "That's my girl" The conversation always went from solution to playtime. My reward for pleasing you. There always was a reward from you. Hours of talking about all the things you craved taking from my body, me moaning your name as my toys had to be your hands and mouth. Always enough to take off the edge enough so I could simply be for a few hours. 

 Orgasm after orgasm, and you trying so hard to create a scene that you had been planning to do in person if we could find the time. The presents of La Perla, pieces of heaven on my body where you always got to be. There is no replacement for you. Everything about you and I fit together. You craved my intelligence and I craved all of you. It was never a power struggle.  We both needed each other to be complete.  I still do. I know you are far away, and I still protect your secrets because I know that you find no pleasure in dominating a weak woman. You called me your unicorn.. I try to remember that without you and alone at night. I miss your hand around my throat, you between my legs and letting you recharge yourself when the world has been too much, the reminder you are still in control. With you it was so easy, never a fight or an argument, when someone wounded me you cleaned the wound yourself, bandaged it and took it off of me for retribution. That never changed and I look for that in everyone else, a protector, a lover, a friend..most of all us. Had anyone even glanced at me wrong he would be subject to your wrath, now you would seek out the men who have turned your princess to a damsel without even a single thought. Once your submissive, always your submissive you told me. Not your property, but your treasure. Never too good to lift me up from my knees when the world crushed me. Never too good to hold me when I cried and always my defender. You I still protect, because you would never turn on me as all my others Doms have, you would simply add them to your list along with the offenders. You I always will protect, because you always protected me. Once we were together we were entangled for a lifetime a bond never broken. Just the thought of my collar being taken away by a jealous ex lover would be a death penalty offense. Anyone not watching out for me would be reason enough to destroy them.  Yet it all has happened. Yet I am still yours, still growing hot at the thought of your touch again, of you and I merged in the center of subspace and Domspace the perfect hide away from the evil that stalks me. You always were my hero, my champion, my knight. The two of us completing each other. The secrets we share are what binds us together across the miles an makes me remember what seduction, lust and love can feel like in one. They give me the strength I would take in return for giving you mine, for being the playground of you desires.