Just one more disappointment

I just don't know what's going on? It feels like I am struggling with everything. Why does God take away the things that I love so much? Why doesn't anything go according to my plan? Why do I have to work so hard for the things that I want and still fail but others who don't even try gets that thing so easily?

Why do I always face disappointment? Why God? Aren't I capable of being successful and loved? Tomorrow is the new year and I want to start fresh with hope that everything will be okay and I can free myself from this shitty emotion where I can only sense negativity.

The favorite earring of mine got lost today. I felt so bad about that because I didn't wear it today but instead kept in my pocket so that I can wear anytime I want. But, see my luck I just lost one of them now I won't be able to wear that. May be It got lost when I was trying to get my phone out of my pocket.

I know it is not a big deal but still in these days I have been so much disappointed that even small things have started to make me upset. I just don't know why? Why do I feel that way? Why am I not able to control my emotions and let go of everything?

Dear God, please give me peace that I deserve. I just want to start my new year with positive mindset. Please let me have that. I really want that and need that. I now just don't want to think negative about anything. Whatever has happened shall not be displayed in my mind.

I really really wanted to get the license of scooter but I didn't get that easily and I realized the more desperate you are to make things happen, the more difficult god makes that task for you to test your patience.

I passed in written exam and I thought I would pass in the trial too and It would be easier for me. But, I was wrong, God had already started to implement his plans. On first time, I just failed after 2 sec of entering into trial exam. I felt extremely bad about that.

But, I said to myself That's ok to fail for the first time. You will make that thing happen for second time but when I went for second time I again failed. Not only that I fell from that speed breaker and also I had to pay some penalties for breaking some parts of scooter. I cried my lungs out cause I was actually hurt but all they cared was money. They didn't even ask if I was doing fine or not, instead told me to pay money.

Tomorrow, on new year I am again going to give that exam and this time would be my last because if I don't make it this time I might have to wait for another 3 months and again start from scratch.

Let's see what plan does God has for me. But, tomorrow God will decide how my whole year is going to be. Please, God let me pass the exam this time. You have taken so much test but let me win this time. Let me be happy in the beginning of year. I don't know what might happen in the future but I hope You will plan the best things for me.

I just don't want another disappointment in the first day of 2026.

ANYWAYS,,,

HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!! MAY THIS YEAR BE FILLED WITH HAPPINESS AND SURPRISES. MAY WE ALL GET WHAT WE DREAMED OF AND MAY THIS YEAR BE FILLED WITH LOVE AND JOY.