“I’m Having a Lot of Sex!”

When I saw Chelsea Handler on Jennifer Hudson’s show, I realized something: this woman is finally figuring out how life works.

At 50, the blonde walked into the studio, stumbled through the “spirit tunnel” — that dance corridor that sends any white person into panic mode — and threw out the unfiltered truth: “I’m having a lot of sex!”

Chelsea’s 50 isn’t the same as my dad’s 50. When my old man turned 50, I thought he had one foot in the grave. Today, 50 is the new 30 — but with money, experience, and zero patience for bullshit.

Fuck, isn’t it liberating when you realize you don’t have to take crap anymore?

Chelsea Handler shared how Jane Fonda summoned her to her house to call her out for behaving badly at a party. Instead of getting bitter, she recognized the gesture as an act of sisterhood. “She could have simply never spoken to me again, but she cared,” Chelsea shared. Some people enter our lives to mirror the shit we do, and if we’re smart enough to accept it, we grow.

But let’s get to what matters. Sex in your 50s.

When the host asked about her “sexual awakening,” Chelsea immediately corrected her: “I don’t know if it’s a sexual awakening or if it’s just growing up and realizing that anyone I’m intimate with or in a relationship with… they’re lucky. I know my value, I know my worth, and you’re lucky to be around me.”

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Hold everything! This phrase should be tattooed on a lot of foreheads. How many of us go around begging for scraps of attention, accepting shitty relationships, faking orgasms to protect fragile egos, or staying with guys who couldn’t find a clitoris even with GPS?

Sex after 35, 40, 50 doesn’t have to be a less intense version of what we had at 20. It can be much better. You know why? Because we know our bodies, we know what we want, and we’re not afraid to ask for it. And if the other person can’t deliver, there’s always someone else who can.

Chelsea said she wanted to be “the kind of woman who has lovers all over the world.” One in Malibu, another in Europe, maybe in Florida (though she hesitated on this last one).

What Chelsea’s unapologetic confidence reveals is a seismic shift in how women are rewriting the narrative around aging and desire. Gone are the days when society shoved women into desexualized boxes post-40, framing their worth as inversely proportional to laugh lines or hormonal shifts. Today, women like Handler are flipping the script: aging isn’t a decline—it’s an upgrade. With financial independence, emotional clarity, and a Rolodex of lovers (geotagged optional), the second act isn’t about fading—it’s about fireworks.

But let’s not romanticize this as mere hedonism. Handler’s stance is deeply political. Owning your sexuality in a culture that still polices women’s bodies—especially older ones—is rebellion. It rejects the Madonna-whore dichotomy that insists women choose between “respectable” invisibility or being labeled “too much.” Handler’s “lovers worldwide” quip isn’t just cheeky—it’s a middle finger to the idea that women should shrink their appetites to fit patriarchal comfort.

Critics will dismiss this as a rich celeb’s privilege (and sure, jetting to Malibu lovers helps). But the core message is universal: Stop negotiating your worth. Younger women endure performative dating rituals—playing cool, downplaying ambitions, tolerating lukewarm sex—to avoid being “difficult.”

The lesson? Life’s too short for bad sex and emotional labor. Demand reciprocity. If they can’t handle your standards, next. As Handler proves, the real sexual awakening isn’t discovering new kinks—it’s realizing you’ve outgrown apology tours for existing unapologetically.