Rule of Tongue

It is generally considered bad form to have any sort of sexual relations with someone if you have any hopes of having an actual relationship with them. I generally follow this rule, after all, why would someone 'cuff' you if they know they can get the goods for free, with zero commitment and absolutely obligation? Still, sometimes things happen and rules get broken.

Zane and I had been talking for about three weeks, maybe a month, when he finally made concrete plans to take me on our first date. He told me to clear my schedule for the following Sunday; he'd pick me up, take me skating in Midland and then to dinner. I was grateful that he respected my anxiety about driving - especially in wintertime; most guys would explore other options if the person they were talking to was afraid of driving, but not Zane. We'd continued to exchange nudes and flirt; I even went so far as to jokingly tell him that if he actually planned to eat me out, he should do it before we go on the date. I don't sweat a lot, but considering his tongue would be on my ass hole, I figured it would be best to do it when my hole would be at its cleanest. He replied asking if that was a serious thing that we were going to do. I certainly wasn't going to force him to do it, but if he wanted to, I was more than game; it had been over a year since I'd gotten a rim job, and I was craving it. The thing about getting my ass eaten is that it doesn't do anything for me sexually, but I find it to be a very relaxing experience. Zane pointed out that I could just take a shower when we got back to my place, which I conceded was true, but being greedy, I noted that he could do it before and after if he wanted. Hell, he could do it whenever he wanted to. Getting eaten out is the equivalent of a vacation for me - and I don't even have to pay or miss work!

A week before our scheduled date, I was out doing my shopping for the week when he Snapped me. Zane is a very good-looking guy, but something about his blue Sesame Street shirt really got me going. I jokingly told him that he should come over and eat me out; I figured he wouldn't want to since he usually has to get up at five AM for work, plus we were supposed to get a snowstorm. Surprisingly, he said he was down. I raced home to put the new sheets I'd just bought on my bed, change the blankets, clean my bathroom, scoop the litter box, vacuum, and tidy up as much as I could in the thirty minutes it would take him to get to my place.

He specified that he was not prepared for anything to go up his ass, but that oral was fine. Given my anxiety, having sex off the table was more than okay with me; one less thing for me to worry about. Honestly, I was just looking forward to meeting him and seeing how our chemistry was in person. I figured if he met me and decided I was too weird or not attractive enough, at least this way he wouldn't have to pay for a date; we could both get out without any major effort being put in. I had warned him that I am an incredibly weird person, but he told me that that was up to him to decide; that I couldn't tell him how to feel about me.

It was almost eleven PM when he pulled up to my apartment. I was nervous because I am terrible at first impressions. My anxiety makes me a difficult person to get to know; I either talk too much - and say off the wall things to make the other person laugh - or I'm basically mute, afraid to say too much and freak the other person out. It didn't help that from the pictures I'd seen Zane was way too cute for me; he could get any guy - or girl - that he wanted, so what would he want with a thirty-five-year-old with a soft body, a bunch of cats, and a job in the food industry?

When I opened my door for him, my breath was stolen. He was so much more attractive in person. His black hair was slightly curled at the ends, his brown eyes deep and soulful, not to mention his full, pink lips. There was no way in Hell that someone so beautiful would want me. Let's see how long it takes before you scare him off, I told myself, shutting the door behind him.

We made awkward small talk, and then I led him to the bedroom. While I knew that he was here to 'eat my ass,' I wasn't sure if he actually wanted to, nor did I know how to get the ball rolling toward that. As he sat on my bed, a couple of my cats came over and sniffed him. When they started rubbing up on him, he looked up at me and said, "well, your cats like me."

"They like everyone," I replied, aiming for flirty, but probably landing more on rude. My mama kitty, Clara - the tortoiseshell - was rubbing up on him. "She drools if you pet her too much." I wanted to warn him in case he'd have an issue with it.

"What's up?" he asked, staring at me intently with his dark brown eyes.

"I don't know. I'm just...standing here, awkwardly." I shrugged. "I'm nervous. What about you?"

"Well, it looks like I came here to hang out with your cats."

"Well, I can't sit down on the bed because you're on my side," I replied with false aggressiveness.

"Oh, sorry." He bugged his eyes out like I was being unreasonable, but shifted over to the right side of the bed.

"The left side of the bed is mine," I said as I slid into the bed and pulled my light summer blanket over myself.

I didn't want to ruin the perfect bed I'd raced to make, not yet. I knew that if things got as racy as they were supposed to, the bed would be a mess when we were done, but for the moment I was enjoying having everything in order. I might have undiagnosed OCD.

We lay there, side by side, looking at each other. He was so beautiful that I really didn't know what to say. Why was he even giving me the time of day? Didn't he want someone his own age? I was ten years older than he was, but, still, in your twenties, ten years is a long time, at least, it had been for me. In what backward world could a gorgeous guy like Zane even remotely interested in me?

I caught him looking at me oddly and tensed up self-consciously. "I'm trying to read your pillow," he explained.

I sat up for a second so that he could read it. "My friend got it for me for Hanukkah. It's a Wicked pillow."

"You have a problem," he teased, rolling his eyes.

"You are so mean to me!" I exclaimed, dramatically. I knew that he was joking, but I was nervous and wasn't sure how to act, so I decided on being as melodramatic as possible. "It's fine, I'll just go into my sanctuary."

I pulled the lightweight blanket over my head and pretended to pout. I wasn't sure if he would get that I was just messing with him, but I decided that it was worth the risk.

He reached over and pulled the end of the blanket up and peered at me blankly. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"You're being a bully, so I'm going into my autism safe space."

He laughed. "Okay, then. Be a baby."

"I am not being a baby! You're being mean to me, and I don't think I like you."

"Oh-ho, really?" he laughed. "You're the one who's being weird."

I knew that he was using my words from earlier back at me, that he didn't mean it, still, I whipped the blanket off of me dramatically. "See? You don't even want to go on a date with me!"

"I never said that!" He smiled and I swear my heart skipped a beat. As beautiful as he was, I hadn't expected perfectly straight white teeth. How is this guy so perfect!? I silently wondered.

"You're mean, so why would we go on a date?"

We sat in silence for a few seconds and then I reached over and poked the tip of his nose. He looked at me like I was a freak. "What are you doing?"

"Poking you," I replied, my heart thundering in my chest.

"Rude."

"How is that rude?" I demanded.

"Only people who like me get to touch me," he replied with fake indignance.

He stretched and as he did his shirt slid up to reveal his pierced navel. I wasn't attracted to belly buttons or anything, but I thought it was a cute look for him. I slid my hand under his shirt, and he gasped.

"Your hands are freezing!" he cried, tensing and curling up into a ball.

"Be nice and warm them up for me," I said, scooting a little bit closer to him on the bed as I tried to go further up his shirt.

"No!"

He was laughing, and I couldn't help but laugh too. Even his laugh was adorable. I fought against his hands to get to his nipples, but as he continued to pull his legs up to his chest, I brushed his dick.

"Did I just touch it?" I asked, stopping. I knew that he was okay with us doing some sex stuff, but I didn't want to move too fast or make him uncomfortable in any way.

"No!" he laughed. "My nipples aren't that far down."

"I meant your dick."

"Oh."

I reached down and grabbed his dick through his plaid pajama pants. "Did I touch this?"

"Maybe."

I couldn't help but notice that his dick was thicker than it had looked in the pictures he had sent.

I moved my hands back up to his nipples. He stopped resisting and just looked at me with mock disappointment. "Are you having fun?"

"Yes." I pinched and rubbed at his nipples, biting my lip. "Are you okay? I know you're ticklish."

"I'm fine for now."

I noticed that he his left leg was thrown over me. I rested my chin on his knee, my other hand caressing his smooth leg under the pajama pants.

"Do you shave your leg hair or are you naturally sparse?"

He sat up and peered down at his leg. "I do not have a lot of leg hair."

"I know," I chucked, "that's why I asked if you shaved them or if you were blessed with sparse hair."

"I use one of those electric thingies," he replied, making a shaving motion with his hand.

"A razor."

"Yeah, that."

He reached down and started rubbing my belly, before slipping his hand under my voluminous sweater. It wasn't designer, but it was warm and its bulk disguised my bump. His hands moved up to my nipples. "That's a lot of chest hair," he said.

"Yeah. I'm pretty hairy."

"Me, too. But I shave it all, except my crack."

"My crack," I mocked him, laughing.

"Are you making fun of me because I sounded super gay!?"

"You know it."

As we kept touching each other, the teasing stopped and we stared intently at each other. "You're molesting my nipples, and you haven't even kissed me yet," he noted, his tone light.

"You haven't kissed me yet," I fired back, chewing my lip nervously.

"I have to initiate?"

"Yeah. I suck at making the first move."

"So do I."

I moved a hand up to caress his warm, smooth cheek, and his eyes closed. He slowly shifted closer to me and then opened his eyes, looking into mine. Our lips met once and then practically became attached as I dug my fingers into his hair and held him close. I don't normally like kissing, but his lips were plump and despite my anxiety I felt a strong connection with him. If this was a sign of what was to come, I was looking forward to getting to know him better.

In a blur of passion, our clothes fell on the floor and the next thing I knew he was on top of me, looking down at me. We kept kissing, my hands caressing his back and his butt. I wasn't used to my awkwardness and inhibitions going out of the window so quickly.

We kissed a few times and then he started kissing and sucking on my nipples. I gasped, arching my back a little. He moved up to kiss my neck and then worked down to my dick.

As he slid me into his mouth, I had to bite back a moan. His mouth was warm and wet; all I could think about was telling him to stop so that I could get my mouth on his cock, but I forced myself to stay still and enjoy it. He watched me closely as he sucked, which turned me on more than I thought possible. After a few minutes, he started kissing and sucking on my balls; normally I have a no balls rule because my testicles are extremely sensitive, especially the left one after my bout of epididymitis a few years ago, but I let him do it because he clearly liked it. I waited in anticipation while he pulled my legs up onto his shoulders, pushed me back a little, and started eating me out.

I immediately felt all of the tension flee from my body. I had a had a stressful week at work; this was exactly what I had needed. Well, this and a massage, but for the moment, his tongue was doing an adequate job of making me feel like a puddle of melted butter.

After a few minutes he asked me to flip over so that he could get in there better. I moaned into the pillow as he buried his face in my crack and worked his magic. I could definitely get used to this, I thought, panting a little. I felt him pull back and then I heard as he aggressively spit on my hole; he chuckled after. Normally the idea of getting spat on is a huge turn off for me, but with Zane it worked like an aphrodisiac.

I'm not sure how much time passed, but the next time he pulled away, I shifted. "Do you need a break?" I asked, feeling guilty. I didn't want to hurt his jaw or make him think that this was all about my pleasure. I really, really wanted to suck his dick.

"I'm having a great time," he replied, his chin glistening. He was panting a little; I was worried I was smothering him.

"I can suck your dick," I offered, moving beside him.

"Weren't you supposed to actually sit on my face?" he challenged, his eyes dark with lust.

"You really want me to?" I asked, surprised. I knew that it could be done, but I had never actually done it.

"Fuck yeah."

I moved up so that I was crouched over his face and started sucking him as he went back to tonguing my hole.

His cock was thick, which meant that my jaw would get sore a lot more quickly than I'd have liked; using my hand was hard because of the angle, but I did the best I could. Every time I swallowed him and then lifted my head, I heard him sigh with pleasure. It was nice to know that I was making him feel good too, but I wanted to be able to focus on him solely; I wanted him to be able to lay back and experience the gift that was my mouth.

After awhile I decided to get off of his face. "I want to just blow you," I said before slipping him back into my mouth. As I sucked on him, I tried to peer up at him over my bangs, which kept falling into my eyes. Frustrated, I hopped out of bed and grabbed a ponytail before resuming my work on him.

In my experience sucking dick, the thicker and longer the dick, the longer it takes to get the guy off; I was used to guys cumming within a minute or two of my suction ministrations, but Zane was not cumming. When my jaw started to really ache, I started jerking him. "Are you close at all?" I asked.

"I'm getting there," he replied, his eyelids heavy.

I tried sucking him again, but I felt my teeth nicking his swollen head. "I'm sorry I'm getting you with my teeth."

"It's okay. Is your jaw getting tired?"

"Yeah. But I don't want to give you toothy head!"

I moved so that I was below him, his legs spread around me. I sucked him for another few minutes and then started jerking him, giving my jaw a much-needed break.

"I'm gonna cum," he panted, his body tensing up.

I quickly put him back in my mouth and didn't stop sucking until his quivering and moaning stopped.

I moved back onto my pillow, peering over at him as we cuddled together under my blankets. "How was it?" I asked; I knew that my head game was pretty good - I'd never gotten any complaints - but I always liked to be reassured.

"It was good," he answered, smiling. "How was I? Did I make the top of the list?"

Earlier that week, we'd been talking on Snapchat, and I'd told him that I'd only ever been eaten out three times. He'd told me that he wanted to top that list.

"Baby, you are the list," I replied, hoping that that wasn't too cheesy.

He laughed, which I took as a sign that it hadn't been too cheesy for him. "Did you notice me laughing when I spit on it?"

"Yeah."

"I've never done that before."

"You're such a top."

"Yeah, right."

I didn't want him to leave, but I also understood that it was late and that now that he had cum it would make sense for him to head home. "Were you planning on leaving now, or did you want to stay and watch a movie or something?" I asked, trying to keep my tone casual.

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" He pretended to be offended.

"Of course not, I just assumed you'd want to leave. There's a snowstorm."

"Bitch, what snowstorm?"

"The one to three inches we're supposed to get tonight."

"Whoa, one to three inches," he teased. "You know I do what I want."

"I know. I just don't want to keep you prisoner here. But you said you hadn't seen Wicked: For Good yet. I have it."

"I definitely want to watch Wicked," he assured me.

I couldn't help but smile. I wasn't used to guys actually liking me. Sure, they normally enjoyed getting head from me, occasionally kissing me, maybe cuddling, but no one genuinely wanted to hang out, especially once they'd cum.

"Okay." I grinned broadly. "But I need to eat something. I haven't eaten all day. Would you like something?"

"What do you have?"

"I have a turkey sandwich for me, and some Doritos. But I have cereal, Triscuits, Lean Cuisine, a burrito..."

"What kind of cereal?"

"It's Special K. I combine the fruit and yogurt kind with the chocolate kind. I eat mine with peanut butter."

"Cereal is my usual late-night snack."

I pulled on my bathrobe as soon as I got out of bed. Even though my heat was set at sixty-five degrees, it was past midnight and with the storm outside, it felt colder in my apartment. Zane stood up and wrapped the blanket around his naked body. The fact that he hadn't just put his clothes on made me happy in a way that I found strange. Was he that comfortable with me already that we were in the naked stage? Sure, he had just eaten my ass, but I was used to guys putting their clothes on as soon as we were finished.

I got him a bowl of cereal and then grabbed my sandwich and chips before we scurried back to the heat of my bed. I turned the space heater on for some extra warmth, just to be safe.

When Zane finished the cereal, he set the bowl on the stand next to his side of the bed. Prue ran over, desperate to get the few drops of milk that were left over aet the bottom of the bowl. Zane shooed her away loudly.

"Aren't you done with it?" I asked, not taking my eyes off of the screen.

Wicked and Wicked: For Good had quickly become two of my favorite movies. My obsession had begun at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school; I'd been fortunate enough to see a production of it in Chicago in 2007. Growing up, I had always loved the Wicked Witch of the West; she and the Scarecrow were the main reasons I even liked to watch The Wizard of Oz. When I learned that there was a musical that told the Wicked Witch's side of the story - and starred Idina Menzel - I was hooked!

"You let your cats lick your bowls?" he asked with disgust; I was pretty sure he was kidding, though.

"Yeah, I mean, the dish is already dirty."

"That's why your cats are so unruly! My cats are perfect little angel babies."

"I love my cats and they're good babies!" I protested, laughing.

When I finished my meal, I found my hand wandering under the blanket to grab his cock again. I don't know why, but I've always wanted to just cuddle up and watch a movie with a guy while his cock is in my hand. I can't explain why it's comforting for me, but it is.

"Having fun?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah. It's nice. Are you?"

"I'm normally a one and done kind of guy. I cum and I go...to bed." He laughed.

"It's not about getting you hard. It's just a comfort thing, I guess."

We made it about forty-five minutes into the movie before I found myself absentmindedly stroking his cock instead of just holding it. I rolled closer to him to see a picture he was showing me on his phone when my erection caressed his naked thigh.

"Are you grinding your boner into me?" he asked, laughing.

"A little. But It's fine. I--"

Before I knew it, he was on top of me, kissing me. His lips felt so nice that I was actually okay with the idea of making out with him.

"Should I pause the movie?" I asked lamely.

"At this point we're going to have to rewind it anyway. You've been distracting me."

I paused the movie without a second thought.

"You don't have to do anything if you don't want to--"

In response, he started sucking my cock. I was normally not this comfortable with someone I had literally just met, but it was apparent that the chemistry was definitely there. I hoped that this would bode well for our date and whatever came after that.

It wasn't long before I exploded in his mouth. He crawled back on top of me and kissed me before moving back to the other side of the bed.

"We probably won't finish the movie now," I pointed out sadly.

"You are trying to get rid of me!"

"Yep. You made me cum, now I want you gone."

"I knew it."

"It's almost two AM, though, and the movie is almost two and a half hours long."

"Yeah, probably not tonight then."

"Plus, the roads are bad..."

"Are they?"

"I'd imagine so. We should go look."

Zane launched into a story about an accident he'd been in once. His boyfriend at the time was with him and someone had t-boned him, causing the car to slide into the ditch, up the other side, and into a tree, after which the tree had fallen on their car. Zane said that he had remained perfectly calm during the fiasco, but his boyfriend had been screaming at him to brake, as if that would do anything. Zane hadn't freaked out until after the fact. when he'd tried to get out of the car but realized that the tree was pinning his door closed.

Eventually, we got up and went to look; there was snow covering the roads, but the plow trucks were out. I wasn't sure what kind of vehicle he drove or whether he took back roads or main roads home, but I did know that if it was me, I'd be staying put. I was going to offer to let him stay the night, but he assured me that he would be fine.

Back in bed, we were making out and groping when I found myself straddling him. He had grown hard again, which made me hard.

"You smell so good!" he moaned into my chest as he kissed it, holding me closely.

"Thanks. It's Lovely You by Sarah Jessica Parker." He held his hands up, crossed at the wrist, against the metal bar of my headboard. "You'd look hot handcuffed to my headboard," I said, my voice getting husky with lust once again.

Before I knew it, he was sucking me off again, but this time, I was thrusting into his mouth, taking charge. His mouth felt amazing, but I didn't want him to feel obligated to make me cum again, after all, my jaw was not up to another blowjob.

"Careful I don't switch it up," I teased, hoping he understood what I was saying.

"Do it."

I moved back to sitting on his face and he started eating me out again. I buried my face in the duvet as he worked on me, wishing that it would never have to end. Why couldn't I always be this relaxed?

When his jaw started to hurt, he moved up to my balls, kissing them a little while his finger worked at my hole. Every time he tried to apply enough pressure to slide the finger inside of me, I instinctively tensed up, keeping the finger out. I tried to will myself to relax, but it was harder than I thought it would be.

Eventually he smacked my ass and pulled away. "Okay," he said, "I should get going."

It was past three AM as he pulled his clothes back on. I thought it would be cute for me to help him, but I couldn't keep my hands to myself and had to rub his ass and dry hump him.

"I'm going to pick you up on Sunday, we're going to go skating, get some dinner, and then come back here," he told me, his voice gentle.

"Are you going to eat me out again?" I teased.

"If you want me to. You have a great ass and a pretty hole."

I laughed. No one had ever told me that before, but it was amazing to hear. I had always hoped that someday, somebody would appreciate the body that I was so insecure about.

We kissed some more before he headed out to brave the crazy roads. As soon as he was out of eyesight, I felt myself missing him a little. Was it possible that I was attached already? Sure, he was cute and nice, and we had great chemistry, but was it too soon to have any sort of feelings?

I sat down to play Rise of the Tomb Raider for a little bit - I was still hyped up from Zane - but I wanted to keep talking to him. I decided to Snap him. I told him to drive safely and said that I had had a really great time.

I only gamed for about twenty minutes before I decided to stop for the night. I crawled into bed planning to watch a movie until I fell asleep, but I felt my eyelids getting heavy already, so I took my glasses off and went to sleep.

When I woke up, I had a Snap from him letting me know that he had made it home safely, that he'd had a great time too, and that he had decided that he liked my weird little ass. I couldn't help but beam as I read it. He went on to say that if we kept it up he'd have the jaw strength of a Greek god and that he'd be able to lift my body with his tongue.

For the first time in a long time, I'm actually looking forward to a date. With the exception of one of my IBS flareups the previous Monday, my stomach has been great for the past two months, ever since I'd started using Metamucil fiber powder. I hope that my stomach will continue to behave; the last thing I want is for our date to be ruined by my unfortunate stomach issues.

I'm already very much looking forward to Zane again. I know you're not supposed to sleep with someone so soon, but the older I get, the more I learn that the rules don't always apply to everyone; each situation is unique. I'm glad that we got it all out of way, because now our date will be less awkward for me; Zane and I already have a rapport, and I feel comfortable with him. I've always lived my life by my own rules - however unconventional - so why couldn't I take the same approach to relationships? After all, it's my life; why do I have to follow rules that someone without my unique experiences set forth? Maybe it's time for me to embrace my uniqueness, stop trying to follow 'the rules,' and pave my own way in life. Following the rules hasn't gotten me anything except trust issues and strong cynicism. Maybe Zane could be the one to show me that you never really know what is just around the corner.