What Are The Odds?

Flat to Let – South London, Zone 2

Bright and spacious two-bedroom flat in Peckham Rye. Top-floor unit in quiet residential street. Double-glazed windows, good natural light throughout. Large living area with separate kitchen. Modern bathroom. Ideal for young professionals or postgrads. Excellent transport links - 10 mins to Overground, buses nearby.
Unfurnished. Available immediately. £1,950/month.
Contact Gillian. Enquiries via email.

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Three Weeks Later

Text to Tim - 16.36
>Mate, I took the flat in Peckham Rye. Bit pricey but it’s a nice area. Quiet. Moving in next week. Drop by sometime. Not unannounced, ok?

Reply - 22:09
>Don’t call me mate.
I’m not coming to yours.
You always pretended it was an accident. I haven’t forgotten.

Text to Tom
>It was just a dog FFS. Get over yourself.

Seen
(no reply)

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Eight days later

Text to Tim - 19.52

{Image}

Nice, huh?

Seen
(no reply)

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Forty-five days of... quiet

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Voicemail – Gillian Ardensley-Jones (landlady)
>Hello Noah!! Sorry to bother you! One of the downstairs tenants has mentioned a strange smell coming up through the floorboards? Said it was like raw meat, maybe something left out too long? Could you please check the fridge and bins? Thanks!!

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Three days later

Voicemail – Gillian Ardensley-Jones
>Mr Smallsby, I’ve had another call about that smell. They're absolutely convinced it's coming from your flat. They said it smells like bleach as well, now. Very strong, but the meat smell is still there. I’ve not heard back from you since my last message. I can’t afford to lose the other tenants, you understand? I’m going to suggest a deep clean, possibly professional fumigation. I’ve booked a company to quote. Because of this, and the disruption, I’ll be increasing the rent slightly from next month. It’s in line with clause 4b of the tenancy agreement. I hope that’s clear. I don't like having to do this, Noah. I picked you because you seemed sensible. Can you check your email, please? I've emailed you about a spot-check this week.

Text to Gillian Ardensley-Jones
>Hi. Understood. Apologies. Been sorting out the freezer. This week isn't convenient for me, but there's no need to call round, anyway. It's all sorted now. Won't happen again.

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Ten minutes later

Email to Dad
>Subject: Urgent

>Hi, sorry to ask again, but could you help with rent this month? The landlady’s saying there’s going to be an increase. It’s not a big jump, but enough that I could use a bit of a buffer while things settle.

>It won’t be for long. Just until I find a proper solution.

>Noah

Reply from Dad
>>No.

Reply from Noah
>>>No? That’s it? Seriously?

Reply from Dad
>>>>You need to stop expecting us to clean up after you. You made your choices. Pay your own rent. I’m done enabling you. Grow up.

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Sent Text – 14:42
>Hey Josh. Long time. Just saw your post about moving – if you’re still looking, I’ve got a spare room in Peckham. Quiet. Big windows. Think you’d like it.

Reply – 15:11
>>Sorry, which Josh were you trying to reach?

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Email to: Alexx1993@***
>Subject: Room going in South London

>Hi Alex, hope you’re well. Not sure if you’re still in London – thought I’d reach out. I’ve got a room spare in my new place, if you fancy a change. No pressure. Just thought I’d ask.
>Noah

Reply:
>>Hey. I’m not sure we’ve met? Were you at UCL?

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Facebook Message – Sent
>Hey it’s Noah from Form 8N – St Mary’s? We used to play chess? I’ve got a room free if you’re in London, thought I’d offer.

Seen
(no reply)

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Draft Ad
Large master bedroom available in Zone 2 flat. Shared kitchen and bathroom. Looking for a tidy, quiet individual. Must respect privacy. No parties.
Rent negotiable.

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Two days earlier

SEEKING FLAT
Quiet, employed professional seeking one-bedroom or flatshare in South London. Open to sharing if respectful of privacy.

Musts:
- Ample storage (closet, attic, or lockable cupboard ideal)
- Decent-sized freezer
- Good sound insulation
- Prefer households with a calm routine (no loud music, parties, or surprise guests)

I keep to myself, work mostly evenings, and am prompt with rent. Would suit someone who values order and discretion.
Ready to move immediately. References available upon request

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Text to MOTHER
>Found a place. Spare room in a flat in Peckham. Seems decent. Quiet, area. Nice place. Clean. Guy’s fine. Moving in Sunday.

Reply from Mum
>>Eli are you sure? You don’t know this man
>>>What if he’s an axe murderer or something
>>>>These things happen
>>>>>You always rush into things and I worry
>>>>>>Send me the address
>>>>>>>Does the room lock from the inside
>>>>>>>>Honestly I don’t like the sound of it

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Journal entry – 21 July
Room’s bigger than I expected. Quiet. Clean. No weird habits so far.
He doesn’t ask questions. That bitch reckons I should be more careful. Says the guy could be an axe murderer. She's being ridiculous. What are the odds of that? Two serial killers in one flat?

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They were both so quiet. So clean. So careful. No loud guests. No questions.

There’s always one, isn’t there?

Except when there's two.

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Thank you for reading!