“Hey Pete, here she comes again. I wonder what she’s bringing back this time?”
“Who knows? Since management came up with this, “unlimited returns” policy, she is in here almost every day. I’ll tell you, Dom, if it weren’t for her returning stuff so often, we’d be out of a job. Quick, look busy. She’s coming this way.”
“Excuse me, boys, can one of you tell me where I may find the candle holders? I just received a credit for a breadbox that I just returned. I think a pair of elegant sconces would be just the thing to complete my dining room table.”
Pete looked a bit perplexed, but replied, “Candle holders are in aisle five. I’m a bit confused, mam. Didn’t you bring back some candle holders last week?”
“How very observant you are, young man. I’m sorry, I mean Pete. That’s what’s on your name tag, is it not?”
“Yes, mam, that’s correct. My name is Pete, and this is Dom.”
“It’s so nice to meet two fine young men such as yourselves. Yes, Pete, I returned a pair of sconces last week. I prefer to use the term sconces. It sounds much more sophisticated than candle sticks, don’t you agree, Peter?”
“Yes, mam, if you say so.”
“Well, as I was saying, the sconces I bought last week using the credits I received from the returned baking dishes just didn’t add to the savior faire I was looking for. One of my dinner guests confirmed this when she pointed to them and said, ‘Those are cute.’ If it wasn’t for this store’s great return policy, I would be stuck with those cute candle sticks. Well, have a nice day, boys. I’m off to search for the perfect pair of sconces.”
“Damn, Pete! Do you believe all the dribble that lady just spurted out?”
Before Pete could respond, another customer approached the boys.
“Excuse me, but do either of you know where the jumper cables are located? My wife’s car won’t start and I need to give it a jump. What I actually came in for was a set of screwdrivers, but I’ll get them after I return the jumper cables.”
“They’re in aisle twelve, sir.”
“Thanks, see you soon!”
“Well, Pete, I guess we know what it’s like to work at Amazon.”
About the Creator
Mark Gagnon
My life has been spent traveling here and abroad. Now it's time to write.
I have three published books: Mitigating Circumstances, Short Stories for Open Minds, and Short Stories from an Untethered Mind. Unmitigated Greed is do out soon.
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More stories from Mark Gagnon and writers in Fiction and other communities.
My Choice
In my job, I’m faced with making more choices in a day than most people make in a year. Sure, they don’t all involve life or death, but some might. Making a choice isn’t really the problem, knowing if it’s the right choice is. I might diagnose a situation, examine all the variables, and make a logical decision based on the facts. Unfortunately, logic isn’t always the right answer.
By Mark Gagnonabout a year ago in Fiction
Instincts of Survival
The mountain air was thinner than Lina remembered. Each breath burned her lungs as she climbed higher along the narrow trail, her boots scraping against loose stones. Pine trees surrounded her like silent guards, their tall shadows stretching across the rocky ground. She had come alone to clear her mind, believing the mountains were safer than the noise of the world below.
By Bilal Mohammadi6 days ago in Fiction
Comments (14)
Well done, glad to see this made it on to the leaderboard. It deserved the recognition!
Love that this got an honourable mention for week, congrats Mark!!
Congratulations on the Honorable Mention for the "Most Discussed Stories" this week on the leaderboard. Well done!
What a living nightmare it would be to work there. I found this online auction site that sales returned/open box stuff. I’ve actually got a few great deals. You just have to be careful with unassembled furniture. I bought a 90.00 stand for 35 bucks. When I got it home you can tell someone tried putting it together and for some reason changed their mind. A few screws were missing and a couple screw holes were stripped. I was still able to put it together but it was annoying, lol. It’s called OLA. You can download the app to find out if they have a location in your area. You can get stuff for as little as a dollar if no one else is interested in it.
Yuck. I would not like to work in a store like that! I remember my mate worked at a jewelers and a woman returned a watch as it was no longer waterproof. Apparently she dropped it and a horse stood on it and cracked it in two, but she was still adamant that as it was no longer waterproof, the store should provide a refund! Nope! This was a fab story!
Consumer chaos!
That's a good policy but it should only be applies for things that are unused. Else, this is how it'll be taken advantage of. Loved your story!
Really loved this one Mark. It was amusing! Can't imagine being in that job lol
LOL, The lady in question is my little sister, Jayne, who holds the world's record for returning items to stores for refunds or a better item. She once ordered a queen size comforter, then three years later exchanged it for a King size one, because the queen size was incorrect...
Or Costco....to true way to true. I saw a man return a swing set that was ratting and rusted , I guess the kids grew up and he no longer needed it.
The culture of customer service is steadily disintegrating thanks to online commerce; this story captures its charm with dexterity!
REI or LLBean? Those are the only two I know of that have unlimited no-questions-asked return policy :). Great little story, Mark!
Hahah! That's a fabulous final line... Canadian Tire would also work but that's a Canadian thing (obviously) so maybe not as acceptable of a reference!! This was fun, Mark!! Great little story!! Ps. Loving your book so far. I'm portioning it out because I only get to read it for the first time once. Still, I'll sadly be done it soon I'm sure! It's hard to stop myself from "just one more story". 😅 So far, my favourite is 'Ring Around the Rosie'!!
Clever, clever stuff, Mark! I wonder if Vocal has a return policy? 🤔