Underwear, Outerwear & Travel

I hate packing. In fact, packing and procrastination go hand in hand in my book. Worse still, packing becomes more tedious with age. Let's face it, you grow older and as such, require more external assistance to simply get through your day. What do you need to pack as a carefree twenty-one year old? A smile, LBD, credit card, inherent lightness of being and a clean pair of underwear (the latter being optional dependent on how sunny your disposition is). In turn, packing in your thirties becomes harder still with the stress of kids and their essential items. This includes nappies, spare clothes, ear plugs and Polaramine for both Mum and baby alike.

Airlines should appreciate the necessity of age-related packing, providing a greater baggage allowance with each advancing decade of a customer's age. I was previously on a returning interstate flight that threatened an emergency landing. A female septuagenarian was experiencing chest pain mid-air which caused her fellow travelling companion to experience more of the same. Overwhelmed with the maximum twenty kilogram baggage restriction imposed on Mrs Seventy-five, I imagine the poor darling forgot her Nitrolingual Pumpspray along with her spare teeth and panty liners.

Eventually however, I do believe airlines will become a sophisticated customer experience through big brother and advancing technology alike. This will be a win-win for passengers as they will be provided with personalised emergency items determined by their individual holiday profile. Single and travelling to an interstate wedding in your twenties or thirties; budget carriers will provide you with SPANX, condoms, a tube of spare underwear and a taxi voucher to return you to your hotel. Single and travelling to an interstate wedding in your forties or fifties; complimentary bottle of Jack Daniels and Valium to the rescue. Same predicament but travelling with a premium airline; inclusion of a small handgun, to be used at your leisure.

One of my biggest sore points in packing a suitcase is underwear. I pack too many or not enough and let's not forget my trip to Malaysia where I forgot to pack them altogether. Have you ever tried to purchase size 18 underwear in an Asian country? I wouldn't recommend it. Finding one size 14 undergarment was like a eureka moment when sieving for gold. I convinced myself I could stretch out the material to fit my Caucasian, standard western diet, bottom. Needless to say, I could not.

With maturity, I have learnt to pack two pairs of underwear for each day of my leave, throwing in an extra pair for good measure. While showing signs of definite improvement, I have still managed to fall short on occasion. I can only conclude that I wore a few pairs on my head whilst indulging in my complimentary bottle of Jack, now that I've begrudgingly entered the would-be higher baggage allowance bracket.

To be blunt, underwear is the most overlooked item when packing your suitcase as it is simply the most boring. Underwear is an afterthought. I could argue the same applies to bras but minus the boob job and being on the wrong side of forty, I would refuse to exit the plane if somehow my bra had gone AWOL while I slept twenty hours over the Atlantic. Underwear is simply not as critical. Who considers their underwear when booking the holiday of a lifetime? Week at Bora Bora - yes I own enough G-strings to be allowed onto the island. Week scaling Mount Everest - yes I have the perfect pair of thermal underwear...or twenty.

I have often thought a person's luggage packing technique is an important point of consideration when scouring for the perfect mate. When previously travelling with a friend, Miss X began her suitcase packing journey one whole week before our weekend of leisure. I would caution against such measures. This packing window allowed Miss X to continually review her catalogue of items, adding belongings to her bag that simply sprang to mind over the course of the week. Indeed a hair straightener, and tampons regardless of the fact Miss X was not menstruating, travelled interstate with us.

I, on the other hand, resent the whole travel bag packing experience and believe Flight Centre should be able to outsource the task. On the more relaxed side of unpreparedness, I pack my valise at the last minute. Indeed, on this particular trip, my undergarments and pyjamas decided to stay at home. Regardless, Miss X and my differing baggage packing styles, proved to be an advantageous pairing. Unsurprisingly, Miss X's case weighed more than she did. As such, I offered to carry Miss X's kitchen sink in my near empty suitcase.

Perhaps in the future, airlines will coordinate the seating arrangements of your long-haul flight as per your marital status and luggage packing handicap. Imagine flying to Hawaii, paired with an overzealous, bag-packing heterosexual male, who has the foresight to include my underwear, bathers and 50+ sunscreen for sensitive skin in his 30kg suitcase. Ah...bliss!