Unconditional

A love that never dies

It was a warm muggy night in Late July, it was a slight mist in the air, noting to keep me in the house though. I was sitting on my porch blowing a spliff when a visitor decided to stop past to see me. I hadn’t saw this visitor in years. If I’m being honest when I saw his dark silhouette coming up my steps my heart skipped an actual beat. I literally choked on the smoke. “You still can’t smoke I see”, said Lynell. “Shut up” I said while laughing and giving him the biggest hug I’m sure that he had ever gotten from me. I missed this man, like seriously missed him. There was never a man that made me feel so alive. When my skin hurt he was able to make it feel better, and I know that sounds crazy. When my heart was hurting he always handled it in the most delicate way possible. He was thee man. He just wasn’t my man, anymore. I don’t know why I was playing with him because he was definitely the man for me. He did everything right, and I did everything wrong, and for some strange reason, he still loved me. This man had unconditional love for me and after 10 years of not seeing him I realized all of that. I wanted him back 5 years ago but I felt like I was always playing games and to be honest, he deserved so much more than that. However, now on this Hot steamy day In July all I wanted was him.

“So what brings you to Cali”, I asked Lynell. “I just finished a movie shoot a few miles away from here” he said.” And something told me to come past and see you, it wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to get this close to you and not come to see that beautiful smile.” My cheeks turned red because I was blushing so hard, he leaned in and gave me the most passionate kiss I think that I have ever had. Something was different, the kiss is what I am referring to. We kissed a few times before, but he never kissed me like that. “Hellooooooo,” he said, earth to Lina. I suddenly snapped out of whatever trance I was in and immediately passed him the spliff. He gave me the warmest smile from those beautiful white teeth, my heart definitely melted, and he knew it to. We sat outside for about a half an hour before I asked him if he was hungry. Once again he blessed me with thee warmest smile ever and said “I’m always ready for food, especially if you cooked it.” I smiled and led him into my place. I made some fried chicken, collard greens, and some baked mac n cheese for dinner that night. “No cornbread?” he asked. “My fault, you know I always forget to get the cornbread.” He laughed and said “yeah I know, that’s why I asked.”

When he was done eating we sat there and talked about relationships that we both had been involved in since we last saw one another. From the sounds of our stories, nobody was good for us. He asked me if I remembered when he proposed to me. I looked down fondling my hands and shook my head yes, “yes, I remember, I have thought about it everyday since that day. We were so young, I honestly thought that you were playing. I really wish now that I would have just said yes.” I looked up at him, finally stopped playing with my fingers, and he had a look of relief on his face. He told me that for years he had wondered why I said no and he felt as if I had laughed at him. I told him, I wasn’t laughing at him, I really just didn’t think he was serious. “But,” I said. “if it makes you feel any better, I really, really wish, that I would have just said yes.” He grabbed me by the back of my neck and pulled me close to him, “ it’s not to late.” He began kissing me ever so gently, each kiss feeling more powerful than the next. All I could feel was him, it was like we were floating on a cloud in a world where no one existed but us. The night was magical, and although it wasn’t our first time laying down with each other, it was the first time that I was ready to give my whole entire self to him. We went at it for hours with a few breaks in between, that night will always be remembered in my mind as amazing.

The next morning when I had waken up I could smell blueberry pancakes cooking, I smiled, I always did love Lynell’s breakfast food. I got up out of the bed went to the bathroom to use it and wash my face and get rid of my morning breath. As I was leaving out of my bedroom I was met by Lynell bringing me breakfast to the bedroom. “Aww Lina, you wasn’t supposed to be woke yet, I wanted to give you breakfast in bed this morning. “ Lynell said. I kissed him and climbed back into the bed so he could do just that.” After the night we had last night I really didn’t think you would be able to walk but you surprised me.” Lynell joked. “Ha ha ha,” I said. He placed a sweet red strawberry into my mouth. I was just looking at him thinking, God I love this man. All I could think to myself was how can I show him how much I want him in my life, how much my mental needed him to be in my life.

While I was thinking about how I was going to let him know every single feeling I had for him, he told me that he had a surprise for me today. My face lit up with excitement. We finished the food he had prepared and then we took ourselves a nice hot long shower, together. Once we were all fresh and clean we got dressed, looking good as ever, like a whole damn meal. We could barely keep our hands off of each other to get to our destination. Mind you, I had no idea where we were going. I was just excited to be going anywhere with him. Once we finished getting dressed, we got into his car and he blindfolded me. We were riding for about forty five minutes, and the anticipation was killing me.

We finally came to a stop, “wait here” he said. I impatiently waited for what seemed like forever, but it was only a minute. He came to the passenger side, helped me out of the car, and slowly walked me somewhere. He took the blindfold off and when I opened my eyes, I was surrounded by beautiful yellow Marigold Flowers. There were so many of them, as far out as I could look I saw these beautiful flowers, my heart was instantly warmed. He had sat up a romantic picnic, there was fruit including my favorite which was chocolate covered strawberries, some Pinot Grigio wine and some chicken parmesan. I loved everything, he always knew what to do , always. We sat and we reminisced, we laughed, joked and even cried. We had some nice memories, and I hoped and prayed that we would make so many more. As he poured the last of the wine into my glass, I noticed something fell into my glass . I went into grab it, and I noticed, it was a ring. I looked to him with tears in my eyes, “Are you serious” I said. “This the second time I’ve asked you this and you still don’t think im serious?” We both laughed, “yes, yes yes.” I said. I jumped into his arms and we kissed for what seemed like ages.

I was finally getting what I wanted, and I was not going to mess that up ever again. What this man felt for me was unconditional love and I finally realized that. I was done being stupid, I was done giving my time and energy to men who did not deserve it. From now on, it was all about me and my soon to be husband.

The End

August 3, 2021