Logical Explanation

“Tommy, I didn’t get your homework.”

“Mrs. Davenport, there is a logical explanation for why I have no homework.”

“Yes. You didn’t do it. You had a four-day weekend to get it done. What happened?”

“Oh, I did do it. I just don’t have it with me right now. But I swear, there is a logical explanation for that.”

“Of course there is. Well, let’s hear this logical explanation.”

“I started my paper on Friday, just as I was expected to.”

“That’s good. You were supposed to start it as soon as possible.”

“I always start my homework right away.”

“This is your 3rd missed assignment. What about them.”

“I have a logical explanation for those also. But I’ll explain those later.”

“OK. I can’t wait. But continue with this one.”

“I had a plan in motion.”

“You had a plan?”

“Yes!”

“You planned not to do your homework?”

“No!”

“What was your plan?”

“I wanted to brake it into three sections.”

“Three?”

“Part one was Friday. I wanted to get it started.”

“And then?”

“Part two was Saturday. This was supposed to be the day I did the major bulk of the work.”

“Supposed to be?”

“Please. Let me finish.”

“By all means, go on.”

“Part three was Sunday. Sunday was set aside just to do the finishing touches. But I found myself doing the majority of the paper on Sunday.”

“So, that means you really waited until the last second to start, and that’s why you didn’t finish.”

“No, no, no. I did do it. I did finish it.”

“OK. Why don’t I have it.”

“You see, my father was severely injured and spent the majority of the weekend in intensive care.”

“Your father was injured?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“He was in the ICU the whole weekend?”

“I see you, ma’am?”

“ICU. Intensive Care Unit.”

“Oh! Intensive Care! Yes, ma’am. That would be correct.”

“Well, continue, please.”

“OK. So, Saturday, my father had to be rushed into surgery. He could have lost his leg if they didn’t act right away.”

“It was that serious?”

“I believe they should have done the surgery Friday. It would have been less stressful.”

“I see that you had a stressful weekend. Are you saying that you were too stressed out to do your homework?”

“No! No! No! I did do it. I told you. I did it. I did it, and I finished it. But my father’s injury and hospitalization caused me to forget to grab it.”

“How is your father doing now?”

“Not good. He never woke up from his surgery. He’s in a coma now.”

“A coma! Wow! This story is getting worse and worse.”

“Yes. So, we spent the night in the hospital.”

“You were at the hospital all night and still came to school?”

“I still need an education. My father is in good hands.”

“That’s good. Education first.”

“I got up early to get ready for school. I must have left my paper in the hospital room. I didn’t realize it until I got to school.”

“That’s not that big of a problem. I’ll just call your mother and ask her to bring it here. When she picks you up, she can give it to me.”

“I don’t think you’ll get an answer.”

“Oh! Why not?”

“You don’t have her number.”

“It’s on file.”

“She don’t have that number anymore.”

“Why not?”

“She had to get a new phone.”

“Did she now.”

“Yes, Ma’am. I haven’t even learned her new number yet.”

“I think I’ll try anyway.”

“OK. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“I won’t.”

“Hello! You’ve reached Olivia Martin. I’m sorry that I missed your call. Please leave your name and number, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”

“Good morning, Mrs. Martin. This is Anna Davenport at Franklin Middle School. Tommy says that he left his homework and would like you to bring it when you pick him up. You can text me back when you get this message. Thank you.”

“You got her voice mail, didn’t you.”

“That’s true. I did.”

“I told you that you wouldn’t get an answer.”

“Just curious, why did your mother have to get a new phone?”

“Her old phone was swallowed by an alligator.”

“It was swallowed by an alligator?”

“Yes, ma’am. It escaped from the zoo.”

“Your mother’s phone was swallowed by an escaped alligator from the zoo?”

“Yes, ma’am. We went to the zoo as a family Friday morning.”

“What happened at the zoo?”

“The zookeeper accidentally left the gate to the lion enclosure unlocked. Goliath got out. We all started to run back to the car. My mother dropped her phone, and Goliath ate it. Crunched it up like it was nothing. The zoo had to buy her a new phone.”

“OK! So, Goliath is a lion.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“But you said it was an alligator that ate her phone.”

“Did I say alligator?”

“Yes, you did.”

“I didn’t mean alligator. It was a lion. I must have been confused by all of the events that took place this past weekend.”

“How can you confuse an alligator with a lion?”

“Because it was an alligator that bit my father’s leg.”

“Wait. Your mother’s phone was eaten by an alligator, and your father’s leg was bitten by a lion?”

“No. You got that backwards. My father’s leg was bitten by an alligator, and my mother’s phone was eaten by a lion.”

“Did the alligator escape from the zoo also?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“How did the alligator get out?”

“We never found that out.”

“All of this happened at the zoo?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Anything else exciting happen at the zoo?”

“Yes, ma’am. I got a new pet monkey.”

“How did you do that?”

“It followed me home.”

“Why did it follow you?”

“I gave it a peppermint stick.”

“Peppermint?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You lured a monkey with peppermint?”

“I wasn’t trying to. I was eating one and it looked like it would want one also.”

“Do you know what I think?”

“No. What?”

“I think you are really good at making up stories.”

“I think I’m ok. But this is not a story.”

“But since you didn’t do your homework, I have to give you an F. I would give you two F’s for lying, but it was such a good story that I decided not to do that. Next time, just do the homework.”

“I did it. I just forgot it at the hospital. I wouldn’t lie. Not to you. If you don’t believe me, call my mother at the hospital. You can call my father’s phone.”

“Hello, Mrs. Martin. This is Anna Davenport at Franklin Middle School.”

“Oh! You must be calling about Tommy’s homework. He must have told you that he left it here. I’ll get it up there before the end of the day.”

“Mrs. Martin, how is Mr. Martin doing?”

“How much did Tommy tell you?”

“He told me something!”

“The alligator only nicked his leg, but it became severely infected. They are keeping him in a medically induced coma while he fights the infection. He should be fine in a few days. They have he on some strong meds.”

“WHAT! It’s all true?”

“I don’t know what all he told you. But if he mentioned a lion, a monkey, and an alligator, then I’m sure I can say yes, he’s telling the truth. The family took a trip to the zoo. As we were leaving, a lion escaped its enclosure. We ran. I dropped my phone. It was eaten by the lion. Before we got out, my husband was bitten by an alligator. We didn’t realize it was bad until we got home and noticed Tommy feeding the monkey peppermints. I promise I’ll bring his paper as soon as I can.”

“What did she say?”

“It would seem like you were telling the truth. I would apologize, but I have the same pre-programmed A.I. response app on my phone. The ‘F’ stays.”

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