Troll Magic

I glanced at her sideways. “I am so sorry Charlotte. I…”

Her glare pierced me. The old ratty barn was engulfed by a deep silence, again. Maybe, I should try humor, I hopefully mused. “At least you weren’t turned into a Black Widow, right?”

If looks could kill, I guess I would die now. I sighed nervously; she rarely laughed at my jokes before this happened. It was a stretch to think that now would be any different. Twenty years had passed since we saw each other last. We had hidden a handwoven bag filled with troll treasure here in this barn, built specifically to protect it. We had cast a 100 years appearance spell on it to make it look old and haunted, hoping that it would be left undisturbed. On our exit through the forest behind it, we encountered some humans. Before they saw us though, we used our magic to transform ourselves into humans, but something misfired and I ended up as a pig and Charlotte as a spider.

She crawled up to the barn and began to spin a web. It took some time, but I was eventually able to decipher that she was spelling out a message. “I can..”

“You can?”

She shook her head violently and turned back to continue her message.

“I can’…”

“You can’t!” I blurted out.

She smiled. Ah, even as an arthropod, her smile was gorgeous. I felt like a weak school-troll every time. With one of her front legs, she pointed to her throat and then her ear and then shook her head some more.

“You can’t … talk… OH… It’s ok. Once we are trolls again, your voice should be able to come back.”

She turned away from me and continued to write.

It felt like eternity, but eventually the web said, “I can’t understand pig.” My heart sank. Here I was pouring my heart out, apologizing, promising the world and she had no idea what I was saying. She just heard what the humans did: grunts and squeals! Well, on the bright side, maybe she’d laugh at my joke, if she’d actually heard it. I looked around and found a long stick. In the mud, I scratched out: “I luv u”.

She smiled and blew me a kiss.

I smiled dreamily again back. She wasn’t murder-me-mad. At least we now could communicate.

"You are so beautiful." I added. I needed her to know.

She climbed down and scurried towards me. I let her climb on my back, but troll! did it tickle! I fought every urge to hurl her off like a cowboy on a wild bronco. Even after she settled down behind my ear, I still felt the phantom creepy crawls.

I spoke the magic words to turn us back into trolls.

Nothing happened.

I tried again.

Charlotte scurried down to my nose. I had to look cross-eyed to see her. I tried the spell again.

Again, nothing.

Charlotte let herself down to the ground and back to the barn. She wrote on a brand new web, “Mat Ilda’s?”

I nodded. She climbed down and scurried towards me.

“Ma Ilda, Mat Ilda, Mat Ilda.” I tried to focus on the task ahead as this time those creepy-crawls of her every eight-legged step was way worse. Why is it always more intense the second time you experience something unpleasant?

I headed North and West. Mat Ilda could always be found smack dab in-between. We needed to find them. They were the best bakers in the village. They made delectables that could reverse any troll spell. My mouth started watering at the thought of all the possibilities. I hoped ours was a slice of double chocolate cake. I imagined the fudge frosting gently dripping over the side with a creamy light chocolate filling. Should it be infused with a taste of lemon and blackberry, or just raspberry? My tongue rolled across my mouth. My mind was in heaven thinking about all the possibilities. Maybe, Mat Ilda would serve it with ice cream! Yumm!

About an hour in of hoofing diagonally towards the sunset, I was sweating and starting to feel queasy – throw up queasy, like the time I was food poisoned by old milk in broccoli-cheddar soup and it's accompanying homemade garlic rolls. Ehhhh. The smell of the garlic rolls themselves could make my stomach churn. The memory of this unfortunate dinner felt so real, so present; I felt even more nausea. Could overthinking about sweets make one feel this sick?

I saw an oak tree up ahead and decided to rest under it. I fell asleep. I did not notice the fog that sneakily engulfed us.

I awoke with the sensation of falling…. because I was. Was this what Alice In Wonderland experienced? I rolled onto a cobblestone path with more grace than I expected myself-as-a-pig to be capable of. I remembered Charlotte and I called out her name. Immediately, there was a pinch on my ear; she was still with me. There before us stood a sign that said: "Mat Ilda’s Straight Ahead".

I ran forward with a light heart full of hope. Soon, I’d get to see my lady once again. This was even more exciting than my most intricately imagined delectable and scrumptious chocolate cake.