Traditions (Chapter 5)

Chapter Five

After we finished our shower we dried off in the bathroom, each casting conspiratorial glances at the other, accompanied by wry smiles.

The feeling of having Charlie inside me was nothing like I had ever expected. What I had expected was for the deed to be embarrassing, uncomfortable and painful, but it was nothing like that. What had transpired was gentle and beautiful, and given with love, and I could only love Charlie all the more for it.

Much to his disappointment, the act wasn’t reciprocated, but he understood. I said that we really needed to get moving, as we were expected at my parents’ house, but to be honest my trembling legs needed time to recover, along with the fact that when I did return the favour I needed it to be perfect; even more perfect for him than it had been for me. We would take our time, tonight I resolved, and I would love him, and I would cast any worries that were playing on his mind far from his consciousness.

When we finished drying we walked to his bedroom hand in hand and searched for some clothes, then dressed. Charlie chose some smart, casual clothes, wanting to make a good impression with my extended family, while I pulled on some jeans and a polo shirt, much to his amusement.

‘All my clothes are in my bedroom at home,’ I said to him. ‘I’ll change when I get to the house. And I suppose I had better throw some of my clothes into a suitcase to bring back here . . . assuming you’re going to let me stay.’

‘Oh, I think I can put up with you for a while longer,’ he remarked, before pulling me to him and kissing me.

‘That’s good to know,’ I replied, once we had separated.

‘Well, there’s something you owe me before I can throw you out, so you’ll be safe until at least then. After that it might depend on how good you are at what you do.’

‘So that’s how it is then? Right! I’ll have to keep that in mind when we finally get to bed tonight.’

‘You do that,’ Charlie replied as he took my hand and led me from his bedroom and towards the front door.

We were still grinning at each other when Charlie pulled his car to a halt in front of my family home a short while later. It felt to me that following this morning’s event something had shifted in our relationship. We had gone to the next level, and Charlie in particular seemed to have a glow to him that I hadn’t seen in a long, long time.

Today was going to be a big day for both of us. It was our first Christmas together as a couple, and for now it was only my immediate family who were aware of our relationship. Would we be able to keep it that way for today, or would it be inevitable that by this afternoon our secret would be out and my extended family would be fully aware of our relationship. I hadn’t given it any thought up until now, but as I walked towards the front door of my family’s home, hand in hand with my new boyfriend, the ramifications of what this day might bring suddenly hit me!

What would my grandparents, and my uncle and aunt, and my cousins all think? How would they all react?

I stopped in my tracks, and stared at the Christmas wreath attached to the front door of the house in which I had grown up, which forced Charlie to stop also.

‘What’s up?’ he asked me.

‘I . . . I’m not sure.’

‘Bullshit!’

It seemed that in a matter of minutes our roles had just been reversed. My recent confidence in dealing with what I had discovered upon my return home had gone out the window, while Charlie’s recent doubts and insecurities seemed to have been replaced with a new-found self-assurance. Was this the result of what had happened this morning, or was that something altogether different?

Before I could even respond to him, however, the front door of the house was flung open, with Toby rushing out into the fresh Christmas morning, wearing only his pyjama bottoms and yelling, ‘Merry Christmas my two brothers!’ before racing down the path and embracing us both in a group hug.

Well, if the whole world didn’t know about Charlie and me before this, then they sure as hell would know it now! Somehow though, having the whole world know about us didn’t really concern me that much; after all hadn’t we been seen holding hands last night at mass? Nan and pop and the rest of the family, however, they were a different story all together.

I saw Charlie look my way with a smile on his face and his eyebrows raised. I could only smile back, but I still had some reservations about what this day might bring. I figured I would try to talk to my immediate family before the invading hordes arrived for lunch.

‘Merry Christmas, Tobes!’ I said to my brother, as I kissed him on the cheek then steered him and Charlie towards the front door.

‘Did you buy me a present?’ he eagerly asked.

‘Oh, shit! I knew I forgot something!’ I replied, while lying through my teeth. I had smuggled my presents in with me when I returned home and had already placed them under the tree. I had bought him a new model ship to assemble. It was only Charlie that I’d had to buy something for when I got back to town, but had managed to find a gift at a local store between all my racing around over the past few days.

When I glanced at Toby’s face I could see the look of disappointment that was etched there, but I could also sense that his brain was ticking over as he digested what I had said, then weighed that up against every other Christmas that had gone before.

‘I bet you’re telling fibs again,’ he finally said to me.

‘Well, how about we go and say Merry Christmas to mum and dad, then have some breakfast so we can find out,’ I answered as the three of us walked through the front door.

We found my parents in the kitchen, with mum frying some eggs, while my father was at work slicing some ham for us all. This had been our traditional Christmas breakfast for as long as I could remember. Traditions can be hard to break, you know?

‘Kieran! Charlie!’ my mother exclaimed as we entered the room, before coming to us, spatula still in hand, and then hugging us both and saying. ‘Merry Christmas!’

‘Good Morning. And Merry Christmas, to you both as well,’ I replied, before giving my mother a kiss and shaking my father’s hand. The greetings were quickly repeated by Charlie.

After my small crisis outside the front door a few moments ago I was still feeling a little shaken, and I could see Charlie watching me and how I was reacting with my parents, so I made an effort to put on a brave front.

‘So, I see we’re right on time,’ I said to my folks.

‘Yes, you are. So how about you put the kettle on and then get some plates out,’ mum commanded. While saying this she was looking me up and down and frowning slightly. I knew exactly what would be going through her head right now; something about these not being suitable clothes to be wearing for a Christmas meal.

It was all I could do not to laugh. Instead I simply said, ‘I’ll change after breakfast, and before we do the presents. And while I’m at it I might as well throw some of my clothes into a suitcase so I can take them with me.’

‘I think that might be a good idea, Kieran,’ mum said, as she patted me on the shoulder, then returned to the eggs on the stove, oblivious to the fact that her second son was still wearing nothing more than pyjama bottoms.

Glancing at Charlie I could see him offering a wry smile. He knew exactly what was happening here.

Breakfast proved to be an enjoyable affair, with my parents surprising me with how accepting and welcoming they were towards Charlie. This whole situation was new to us all, yet the conversation and laughter flowed, just like it always seemed to have done, with my new boyfriend seeming to be totally at ease with my family.

For one fleeting moment I wondered if what Father Costas had said last night may have helped contribute to the softening of my mother’s long held views. I guessed I would have to wait for that one to be answered.

As we stacked our plates on the kitchen sink once finished, mum said, ‘While we clean up and stack the dishwasher, why don’t you go and get changed, before we all open the presents?’

‘Are you sure?’ I said to her.

‘Yes, now why don’t you go and make yourself presentable!’ she replied. It was more command than question, and we all knew it, but I wasn’t going to simply take it without offering some sort of challenge in return.

‘What about him?’ I asked, while cocking a thumb towards my kid brother.

My mother frowned slightly, while my father smiled, then winked at me. He knew.

‘Well . . . errr . . . yes. Toby, you should go and get dressed as well, young man. We don’t want you looking like that when your grandparents arrive!’

The fact that it would be another two hours before they would get here was irrelevant.

As the three of us headed out of the kitchen I noticed my father raise his fist and hold it in front of him just before I reached him. I did the same and we bumped fists as I passed, then disappeared down the hallway in the direction of my bedroom.

‘Sorry about that,’ I quietly said to Charlie as we reached my bedroom. ‘Mum has some funny ideas sometimes.’

‘Don’t they all?’ he replied with a chuckle.

‘I guess.’

‘So, you want to talk about what happened outside earlier?’ Charlie asked.

He was sitting on the edge of my bed, while I stripped off the clothes I was wearing, then hurriedly went about finding something to wear that my mother would approve of. I had no intentions of making this day any more awkward than it was already shaping up to be.

I stopped in mid-flight, standing there in only my socks and jocks, and looked at him.

‘Well?’ he asked again.

With a sigh I sat down on my bed beside him, as I tried to gather my thoughts. Charlie was just looking my way but saying nothing.

‘It’s just . . . well . . . I’m a little scared,’ I said to him.

‘Of what?’

‘Not what. Who!’

‘I don’t get it.’

‘Look. We’ve been friends for so long, right? So you know my family . . . you know my grandparents, and you’ve met some of my other relatives. I’m just not sure how they might react today if they find out about us, that’s all.’

‘You seemed perfectly happy holding my hand in front of Father Costas and half the town last night.’

‘I know, I know . . . but they aren’t family are they? They weren’t going to be quite so . . . judgemental . . . and if they were, it’s not like we would see them every day. I know mum has been great, but you know what mum can sometimes be like though, so snobbish when she wants to be, which I’m sure comes from my grandparents . . . so if they, and all the others, don’t approve then they will be sure to let us know, and I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle it if that’s what happens.’

‘You’re kind of talking in riddles here, but I think I get where you’re coming from,’ Charlie replied. ‘I also reckon you’re overthinking this whole thing. So what if they don’t approve?’

‘But they’re family. And family are almost always worse than strangers can ever be!’

‘I . . . I wouldn’t really know about that,’ Charlie said quietly, and suddenly I felt like a total dick. How could I have been so fucking clueless?

‘Oh, God! I . . . I . . . I didn’t mean . . .’ I managed to voice as I quickly swung down onto my knees in front of him and took his hands in mine.

‘It’s okay, Kieran. I know you didn’t mean anything by it,’ he replied, while giving my hands a squeeze. ‘It’s going to be fine. We’ll both get through today unscathed, because even if your family find out and can’t handle our news, it is our lives that matter, and our lives have nothing to do with them! They can’t hurt us with their words, and if they try, then I’m sure your parents will be there for us.’

‘I so hope you’re right,’ I replied, just as we heard footsteps coming down the hallway.

‘Are you boys coming?’ I heard my mother ask, just as I looked up at the doorway to see her stop and look down at me, a look of what could only be described as shock on her face.

I could just imagine what would be going through her head right now, seeing me almost naked and on my knees in front of Charlie.

‘What’s going on here?’ mum demanded to know.

‘We’re fine, mum. Just give us a minute please,’ I replied. ‘We’ll be out as soon as I’m dressed and I’ll explain then.’

With a frown she turned and left us, without saying another word, so I stood up, dragging Charlie to his feet as well.

‘I’m so sorry, babe,’ I said, before hugging him. ‘Now I better find some clothes and we’d best get ourselves out there. But at some stage, and before the others arrive, I need to talk to the folks about how I’m feeling.’

A quick rummage through my wardrobe soon produced my favourite shirt, which I quickly pulled on and started to button up, only to be stopped by Charlie stepping up and then finishing the job for me. When he was done he leaned in and kissed me.

‘It’s going to be fine,’ he repeated. ‘We’ve got this.’

‘I can only hope you’re right,’ I answered, before kissing him back, and then pulling on a pair of dress pants. Once I had zipped up and added a belt I held out my hand for him, then together we walked out into the lounge room, where Toby and my parents were waiting.

‘You guys took your time,’ Toby chided us.

‘Your brother couldn’t decide what to wear, Tobes,’ Charlie answered. I couldn’t miss the look that passed between my parents though.

‘Well, at least he looks the part now, though. Right, Toby? Wouldn’t you agree?’ mum remarked.

‘Yeah. So, hot!’ he replied, then laughed a crazy laugh that he sometimes produced when he got all excited, while rocking back and forth on his seat.

Charlie and I sat ourselves down on the two-seater lounge, with Toby moving down onto the floor in front of us and leaning back against our lounge, between our legs.

‘Come on, dad! It’s present time!’ he said.

‘Alright, son. If you insist,’ my father replied, before moving over to the tree and selecting a gift from beneath it. After a couple of goes he found one with Toby’s name on it and handed it over to my excitable teenage brother, before he then handed another gift to my mother.

Another one for Toby followed, then he surprised Charlie by handing him the small gift that I had purchased for him. Somewhat hesitantly he took the parcel and turned it over in his hands a few times, feeling the weight of it, then looking at the attached card, before looking from dad, to me, and then to my mother, all the while with an odd, almost pained, expression on his face.

‘I don’t . . . I mean, I haven’t . . .’ he started to say, but I quickly placed a hand over his.

‘Shhh . . . Merry Christmas, Charlie. Just enjoy it,’ I said to him. ‘I care about you . . . we all care about you. So don’t go overthinking it, okay?’

He blinked a few times, then looked back at the present.

‘Thank you,’ he said to me.

‘No. Thank you,’ I replied, before leaning over and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. As soon as I did this, I realised my parents would no doubt be looking my way and quickly glanced around, somewhat sheepishly, to see that confirmed.

Both their expressions appeared to be thoughtful, almost sombre, but nothing was said. We were quickly brought back to the present, however, when Toby excitedly said, ‘Oh, wow! A remote-control racing car! Vroom! Vroom!’

Charlie opened his gift, unwrapping it carefully instead of just ripping it open, as Toby was doing, before soon pulling a heavy metal necklace from the packaging. I had spotted it in the window of a local gift store and was attracted to it, so figured that on short notice it would be a great gift for Charlie.

He held it up in front of him, carefully looking at the design, the appearance of which wasn’t unlike plaited rope or leather, yet in shiny, polished pewter.

‘It’s beautiful,’ he said, just before I took it from him and undid the clasp, then reached around his neck and reattached the two ends. Against his tanned skin it looked stunning, but the loving expression on his face meant so much more.

After that, the gift giving continued, with us all receiving our share of presents, including Charlie, who received a couple more surprises from my parents, while the pile of wrapping paper in the middle of the floor continued to grow.

When we were finally done, my father headed for the kitchen, returning with a large garbage bag, which he handed to Toby.

‘Fill ‘er up, kiddo,’ he said to my brother, who threw himself into the task, with Charlie’s help.

As we watched them at work my mother leaned over towards me and very quietly asked, ‘So, you were going to explain what the crisis was in your bedroom earlier?’

‘It’s not what you were thinking,’ I replied after a moment’s thought, and after Charlie and Toby left us to take the rubbish outside. ‘It was just me putting my foot in it with something I said to Charlie.’

‘Oh?’

‘I’d said something about families, because I was worried about what might happen when our family arrived today, and he replied by saying that he wouldn’t know about that. I felt like such a heel and knew I’d stuffed up as soon as I said it.’

‘Oh. So you two weren’t . . . you know . . .’

‘Weren’t what? Fooling around?’ I asked, with a wry grin. ‘No, mum. It was nothing like that. But while we’re talking about families, like I said, I am kind of worried about today and about how nan and pop, or the others might react if they find out about Charlie and me, if you know what I mean.’

‘Let’s just play it by ear,’ mum replied, just as Toby and Charlie came back inside. Reaching across she patted my knee and then stood up. ‘Right then, who’s going to help get everything ready for our Christmas lunch? There is still a lot to do and it won’t be long before the rest of the family arrive.’

Somewhat reluctantly the three of us followed her to the kitchen, where we were soon put to work.

It was eleven-thirty on the dot when we heard the sound of a vehicle pull up on the street outside our house, which was almost immediately followed by the sound of car doors being slammed. Toby jumped up from the lounge room floor, where he had been sitting and playing with a remote control car that he had received for Christmas, and pulled back the curtain.

‘It’s Nan and Pop,’ he excitedly called out, before racing outside to greet them. ‘Merr-e-e-e-e-e Christm-a-a-r-s-e,’ we could clearly hear him calling as he ran down the path towards the front gate.

‘And a very Merry Christmas to you too, Toby,’ I heard my grandmother reply.

As Charlie and I looked at each other we could hear their greetings and laughter as my parents also went outside to greet them.

‘I think I’m going to throw up,’ I muttered, as I got to my feet and looked out the window, just in time to see a second car pull up and the rest of the family arrive. At this point I started pacing back and forth in the living room.

‘No, you’re not,’ Charlie said, trying to reassure me. ‘There’s absolutely no need to say anything to anyone unless we have to, okay? Like we talked about earlier, just act normally and don’t even give them any reason to even question our friendship or relationship. That’s all you’ve got to do.’

‘That could be easier said than done,’ I replied.

‘We’ve got this,’ he said, repeating what he had said earlier. ‘And just remember, whatever happens, we’re in this together.’

I could only smile at him, grateful for his support. I knew that he had my back, just as I had his, but now, with the whole family about to surround us, the weight of it all on my shoulders somehow felt different. I just wanted to get through it, and with minimum hassle, and that, I knew, was going to be our challenge.

Through the living room window we watched as my family greeted each other, with hugs and kisses all round. Even from where we were, inside the house, I could still hear all their chatter. I also heard my name mentioned a couple of times. Of course, there was no chance of me being able to lay low now.

‘I guess we’re finally here then,’ I said with a sigh.

‘Well, let’s do this,’ Charlie said, while placing a hand on my shoulder.

Moments later we walked outside into a warm and sunny Christmas day, with my family erupting in a chorus of greetings. It was a chaotic scene, as it always was when we got together. My grandparents were first to embrace me, followed by Aunt Trish and Uncle Leo, then my three cousins; Kevin, who was nineteen, Pippa, who was seventeen, and thirteen-year-old Stuart.

Hugs, kisses and high fives seemed to be the order of the day. It was good to see them, but it was already becoming kind of exhausting.

While I was greeting them Charlie stood back with my parents, just watching the goings on. When I glanced back at him, just after being smothered in a hug from Aunt Trish, I caught him grinning at me. I think the bastard was actually enjoying this.

It was Nan who was the first to reach Charlie. I heard her ask, ‘You’re Kieran’s school friend, aren’t you??’

‘Yes ma’am,’ I heard him reply. I wasn’t sure where he had picked up the American term from – probably too many American movies at a guess – but I could tell he was trying to be polite, in his own way.

Nan turned to my mother and was about to ask her something when mum stepped in first. ‘Yes, mum. He’s Kieran’s friend, Charlie. Unfortunately, Charlie’s mum passed away not long ago, and now we’re all the family that Charlie has, so you had best get used to seeing him hanging around.’

Mum glanced my way when she said that and offered a smile, which was returned.

‘Oh, no. I’m so sorry to hear that,’ Nan said, before wrapping him up in one of her well-renowned hugs.

Now it was my turn to grin at Charlie, as he looked at me, slightly horrified.

When all the greetings and introductions were done, we finally started making our way inside, with Uncle Leo carrying an esky – no doubt filled with their contributions to our Christmas lunch – and with Kevin and Pippa carrying a number of presents. Our gifts for them were still under the tree, and these were soon joined by those that my cousins had brought in with them.

‘Right then, before we start serving up lunch, who wants a drink?’ I heard dad ask us.

‘Want a drink? Or should that be who needs a drink?’ asked Uncle Leo.

‘Well, I think we’ll all be needing one sooner or later, today,’ dad replied, laughing.

As some drinks were poured for everyone and passed around, mum dished up some nibbles, placing them on the low table in the living room for us all. For the next half hour or so we sat around talking and catching up, finding out what everyone had been up to of late.

Nan and Pop had just come back from visiting Pop’s brother and family in Victoria. Uncle Leo and Aunt Trish were planning to go on a cruise. Kevin hoped to soon be starting his first year at university, while Pippa and Stuart were still in high school. I answered a few of the usual types of questions one could expect, such as how long I was home for and how was work going, then receiving the expected commiserations when I told all that I’d been retrenched, but not wanting to dwell on that I did my best to change the subject and we soon moved on.

Once the catch-up was out of the way it was time to open the remaining presents, so these were quickly handed out, along with all the appropriate thank yous and comments of appreciation exchanged. Then it was time to prepare for lunch, which, as always – in our household in the middle of a hot Australian summer – consisted of cold meats and salads, and plenty of them.

The mood amongst us all was light, as was usually the way with most of our family gatherings; there were rarely any major blow-ups or confrontations within our family. I got on well with all of them. I enjoyed laughing with my cousins, and sometimes playing games. I had no reason to think, even allowing for how my mother could sometimes be, with her odd indifference to various things or people, that today would be any different, unless the news of me and Charlie leaked out and the whole day went to shit!

When the time came, mum, her sister, and nan set about pulling out the salads and plates of sliced meat that we had already prepared. At least we already had the table set and ready.

Picking up my couple of new presents – unsurprisingly they were clothes – I nudged Charlie and signalled that I was going to take them to my bedroom, then we got to our feet and excused ourselves, before going down the hall to my room.

‘That wasn’t too bad,’ Charlie said to me as I dropped the clothes onto my bed. ‘Your family is nice. I’ve always thought so.’

‘I guess it could have been worse, I suppose. But they haven’t had the bombshell dropped on them yet, have they?’ I replied, before pulling him close. ‘Anyway, you know I’d rather be spending time with you than them though,’ I added, before leaning in for a kiss.

Just then we heard a gasp, coming from the direction of the doorway. When I glanced that way I saw Kevin and Stuart standing there, with Kevin’s hands on his brother’s shoulders. Stuart’s mouth was open and his eyes wide. I quickly let go of Charlie, but before I could say or do anything, Stuart was off and running.

‘Kieran kissed Charlie! Kieran kissed Charlie!’ we heard him yell, as he ran back down the hallway to the living room.

‘Oh, fuck!’ I hissed, as I looked at Kevin, then at Charlie, while feeling the blood drain from my face and as my hands started to shake.

When I next glanced back towards the door Kevin was gone, while down the hall I could hear my relatives jabbering excitedly.

‘It’s going to be fine,’ Charlie tried to reassure me.

If only I could believe that.

To be continued . . .