Traditions (Chapter 4)

Chapter Four

It was after eleven when we left the mountain, just after my mother had tried to call while Charlie and I had still been deep in discussion. I had sent a text to say we would meet them at the church, and so, after heading back down the mountain and returning to Charlie’s place, where we quickly changed, we then took a short walk to the small country church. It was only a block away from Charlie’s house and we arrived with just minutes to spare, finding my mother and Toby waiting impatiently by the front gate as other parishioners filed inside.

‘Cutting it a bit fine weren’t you?’ mum asked as we hurried inside.

‘I’ll explain later,’ I quietly said, while trying to offer a serious expression. Her brief nod in response told me that she understood.

With there only being a small congregation at this time of night, even allowing for the occasion, finding a seat proved easy, and it was just in time, as the procession of four yawning altar boys, followed closely by Father Costas, made their way inside and to the front of the church. I well remembered my only time participating in this mass when I was younger and knew exactly how they were feeling. It was bad enough having to sit here now in my early twenties, so for those boys, I was sure tonight would be almost excruciating.

I watched with what I could only describe as an element of compassion as they took their places around the altar, following the completion of the entrance hymn, before Father Costas stepped up to begin the service.

Nothing has changed over the years; that much I could see. The service was the same as every other year; the sermon almost word for word, the yawning parishioners all wore the same tired faces, but still it was a tradition, so everyone carried on.

There were exceptions of course, mostly middle-aged women, like my own mother, for whom this was more than just a tradition; this was a duty. As it was also for their doting and supportive husbands. You could look into any of their eyes and see their roles written as plainly as the red and gold Latin text, which circled the vestibule behind the altar of St Mark's country church, the meaning of which I once knew, but had long since forgotten.

I wondered briefly about my father. Was he not being dutiful by not attending, I wondered? I already knew the answer to that, however. He was simply being his own man.

By the time it was all over and the last hymn was being sung, as Father Costas and his boys filed out of the church, most of us were struggling to stay awake. Row by row we filed out behind the procession, nodding to our fellow parishioners or exchanging the occasional greeting as we went, before eventually gathering beneath two floodlights on a single pole near the gateway into the churchyard, around which a million insects were buzzing, doing endless circles in the brilliant glare.

While some of the parishioners immediately made their way towards their cars, others milled around, talking to each other, or greeting Father, before eventually drifting away. We waited our turn and spoke briefly with a few people we knew, before eventually taking our turn to speak with Father.

‘Kieran!’ Father Costas said to me, as he reached out his hand for me to shake. ‘So good to see you back in town.’

‘Thank you, Father. It’s good to be home.’

‘Just visiting for Christmas, or are you sticking around for a while?’

I glanced at Charlie, who simply raised an eyebrow my way.

‘Oh, I’ll be hanging around for a while,’ I answered the priest, before reaching out and taking Charlie’s hand in mine, which didn’t go unnoticed. ‘I’m staying with Charlie.’

I heard a gasp from my mother. ‘Kieran, I don’t think . . .’ she began to say, only to be cut short by the priest as he held up his hand to quiet her.

‘There is no judgement here,’ he quietly said, while smiling our way. ‘God judges only those who sin. And in His eyes there is no sin in loving another,’ Father Costas added, before he turned his attention Charlie’s way.

‘And Charlie, I was so very sorry to hear about your mother.’

‘Thank you, Father,’ Charlie replied, to which he received a simple nod, before Father Costas turned towards my mother.

‘And so good of you to come, Katherine. And you also, Toby! How are you, young man? A very Merry Christmas to you all,’ the priest cooed.

‘Thank you, Father,’ my mother answered, as she too, shook his hand. ‘And thank you for a wonderful service, as always.’

‘It is always a simple message that I like to pass on at this wonderful time of year,’ he replied.

Yeah. Same message, same day, every year. I couldn’t help but smile.

We turned to leave, to allow others their chance to talk with Father, and started for the gate out onto the footpath, but before we had taken more than a few steps we were stopped again, as Father said to me, ‘Oh, Kieran, if I recall correctly you are quite good with computers, am I right?’

‘I guess you could say that, Father,’ I replied.

‘If you are hanging around, perhaps I could persuade you to take a look at the parish machine . . . once the festivities of Christmas are out of the way, of course. I always seem to be having disagreements with the thing.’

‘I'd be happy to, Father. I’ll come and see you after Boxing Day, is that okay?’

‘Perfect. Thank you,’ he replied, before turning his attention to an elderly couple who had been waiting behind us.

'Are you boys driving? Or would you like a lift home,' my mother asked, once we had left the churchyard and were standing on the gravel footpath outside, a few of our fellow churchgoers walking around us and saying their farewells as they went. Charlie and I were still holding hands and the faces of those who passed us were wearing a mix of expressions.

I glanced at Charlie to see what he might want to do, and he quickly replied for the both of us. 'I think we’ll just walk, thank you. It's a nice night, and it’s not very far.'

‘Okay then,’ my mother replied. ‘We’ll see you both at breakfast. Now don’t be late!’

After hugs and kisses for each of us from my mother, which was also followed by hugs from my brother, they walked off towards the family car. We watched as they started to climb in, but then, as Toby stopped and yelled out at the top of his voice, ‘Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas everybody!’ we laughed, along with those few parishioners who were still nearby.

Everybody knew our Toby!

After mum and Toby had pulled out onto the road and we watched their taillights eventually disappear around a corner a couple of blocks away, it was then that Charlie held out his hand for me once more. I smiled at him and reached out to take his in mine, then with a final farewell to Father Costas, we set off for home, not caring about those few who gave us disapproving stares, as we allowed the darkness to swallow us, our way only being lit up at irregular intervals as we passed beneath the infrequent streetlights.

This Christmas night was warm and humid, the air filled with the sounds of insects, but the town itself was quiet, other than the light traffic heading home after mass. For a few minutes we walked in silence along the gravel footpath.

‘I hope you weren’t upset by my taking hold of your hand back there,’ I said to Charlie as we dawdled along.

‘You know, I always thought I might be, if that ever did happen, but for some reason, tonight it just didn’t matter. I guess there are so many other things to worry about in the world today, other than what people might think about two guys holding hands.’

‘Like what?’ I gently asked, but Charlie simply shook his head.

‘Not tonight,’ he said. ‘I just want to enjoy Christmas, then we can face reality after that.’

‘That almost sounds serious.’

‘I don’t want to think about it right now. Let’s just make the most of tonight, shall we? Then we can worry about the rest of it later.’

‘Okay then. Just so long as you do let me help you when it’s needed,’ I said firmly.

‘I will,’ he replied, before taking hold of my arm and snuggling in close to me.

Waking up beside Charlie this Christmas morning, as sunshine streamed through the windows and the day outside his bedroom was beginning to come alive, I couldn’t help but feel that this was something I could really get used to.

I looked across at him still sleeping, his naked body gently rising and falling with each breath, his eyelids fluttering ever so slightly. To me, he was a beautiful sight to see.

Was this what the rest of my life was going to be like? Or was this just a phase each of us needed to work through to reach our own destiny? I guess whatever happened in the next two days with my family, through Christmas Day and Boxing Day, would set the scene for what lay ahead.

Most of those who we would be sharing this time with already knew Charlie as my friend, but how would everyone react to the news that we were now more than just friends? How would my grandparents take the news that their eldest grandchild was gay? How would my uncle and aunt and cousins all handle it? Was it a disaster waiting to happen, or would everything turn out fine? These were the questions that were now buzzing around inside my head. These were the questions I needed answers for?

I reached out and gently touched Charlie's cheek, ever so slightly, just stroking his skin with the back of my fingers. He felt warm, and soft to the touch, and he soon opened his eyes, taking just a moment to focus on me before a smile came over his face.

‘Merry Christmas, babe,’ he said quietly.

‘And Merry Christmas to you also,’ I replied. ‘Think you are ready for what the day is going to bring?’

‘If you’d have asked me that this time yesterday I would have said, no way. I would have been shaking in my boots. But after last night and the reaction of some of the people who were at the mass, especially Father Costas, I’m beginning to feel as if the world isn't quite as scary as it used to be for people like us.’

‘Well, just as long as you remember that not everyone may be as welcoming. Just keep that in mind, especially when you meet my family again. They may all know you already, but they won't know that you and I are together. They won't know that we are gay, and they may, well, they may react differently . . .’

‘I know, I know . . . but at least now I have seen that some people can be accepting. Growing up in this town it has always been an open secret that there are people like us living here, but it's never been something that we've really seen openly displayed, has it? Anyone that is like us, well, they’ve always kept things very low key, haven’t they?’

‘Yeah, that’s true enough, but if they slipped up, then we soon knew about it, didn’t we?’

‘I guess you’re right.’

‘But we’re not talking about the residents of T’ville though, are we? I just wanted to give you a heads up that some of my family may not be as accepting of us being together as Father Costas was.’

‘Okay. Understood.’

‘I know where you are coming from, though,’ I added. ‘While I was living in the city I saw plenty of prejudice around, believe me. But I also saw more than my fair share of gay people loving each other and living their lives in a totally normal fashion. I would hope that even in this little backwater town we still may get the opportunity to do that, especially knowing there are others around here just like us . . . but anyway, first things first, we have to survive Christmas and my family. For starters, mum will need some help this morning before all the rest arrive, so what say we jump in the shower and get ready to head over there for breakfast.’

‘Sounds like a plan to me,’ Charlie replied. ‘Let's do it.’

Sitting up in bed I swung my feet over the side and planted them on the ground, before standing up and reaching out for Charlie's hand. I dragged him to his feet beside me, hugging him closely, before wishing him a Merry Christmas once more.

‘Merry Christmas to you too,’ he whispered back to me, before leading me by my hand to the bathroom.

The funny thing about the relationship I’d had with Charlie over the years, was that we’d never actually had sex; as in, we’d never had intercourse. Our sexual activities had always been limited to kissing, masturbation and sucking, along with exploring every inch of each other's bodies, but we’d never actually fucked. Technically, I guess we were both still virgins – as embarrassing as that would be to admit at our age – but I was hoping that this was a situation that could shortly be resolved.

I wanted him so bad. I needed to feel him inside me. It was just a matter of finding the right opportunity for us to take our relationship to that next level, though just when that might be I couldn’t be sure. I was prepared to be patient, however, as Charlie’s wellbeing was far more important to me than my personal gratification.

Having said that, however, I did realise that sex was an important part of most relationships, so at some point taking that next step would be something we both would want to do, or in fact need to do. I had reached a point in my life where satisfying myself with the few toys I had gathered together in recent years was no longer cutting it, so somehow, I needed to find the courage to talk to him about that subject.

I had no idea when that might be, and certainly didn’t intend for it to be today, of all days, but perhaps it would be one day soon.

As he led me towards the bathroom Charlie was quiet but glanced my way a few times. He looked thoughtful but remained silent as he pulled back the shower curtain and then turned the taps.

‘Are you okay, mate?’ I asked him. ‘You look like you have something on your mind.’

‘I’m fine,’ he answered, as he stepped into the shower and pulled me in with him, before pulling the curtain across behind me. We were standing face-to-face, his hands on my chest and with a stream of hot water cascading down between us. ‘I’ve just been thinking about us.’

‘Us?’

‘Yeah . . . and, errr . . . where we go from here?’ he replied, before allowing one hand to slide down my body and wrap his fingers around my now rapidly expanding shaft.

‘Oh . . . you mean . . .’

‘Yes, dumb-arse! That’s exactly what I mean. We haven’t ever . . .’

‘Fucked?’ I suggested.

‘Jesus, you don’t need to make it sound quite so dirty,’ he gently chided me.

‘Babe, I want to have sex with you so bad,’ I whispered. ‘I just didn’t want to rush you. I want it to be something we do only when we’re both sure that we’re ready.’

‘And if I told you I was ready now?’ he asked, this time taking hold of one of my hands and placing it upon his own manhood, while at the same time leaning in and kissing me.

When we parted a few moments later, grinning at each other while also still stroking each other, I knew that the time was upon us. I looked down at our hands, methodically stroking, skin sliding back and forth, exposing the head of each engorged penis.

It would be fair to say that neither of us were exactly huge. In fact, our cocks were almost identical in size and shape and colour, both beautiful in my books, but I would imagine that there would be those who might be disappointed if they ever had the opportunity to feast up on either of us. I wasn’t sure about Charlie, but with the experiences I’d had with my toys, which right at this moment I knew were safely tucked away in my travel bag in my bedroom at my parent’s house, I felt sure I would be able to handle all of Charlie without any problem.

‘I’ve never been fucked, Charlie, but I’ve used a dildo often enough to know I can take you,’ I said to him.

‘What are you saying?’ he asked, without missing a beat.

‘That you get to go first,’ I replied, before letting go of him and picking up the liquid soap on the ceramic shelf in the corner of the shower recess.

Squirting some onto my hand I began spreading it over Charlie's firm pecs as he grinned at me, moving my hands around in a circular motion and building up a nice, rich lather which I spread down his arms, over his flat stomach and down to his groin, before taking another squirt of soap and adding to that which I had already spread around his body. Working my way down to his beautiful penis once more, I continued to stroke him, adding to the rich lather that covered him.

‘I’m all yours,’ I said, before turning around for him and guiding one of his hands to the cleft of my buttocks.

His trembling fingers slipped down along the length of my crack and were soon probing at my back door. He knew what he wanted, but I had a feeling that maybe he wasn’t too sure about what came next.

‘Fingers first,’ I suggested.

Any initial nervousness that he had begun with soon disappeared, as one finger was gently inserted, probing my insides and stretching me, before shortly afterwards adding a second.

‘You’re so tight . . . and so hot inside . . .’ he exclaimed, as he continued his probing.

It felt fantastic and I couldn’t help but push back against his hand, to which he responded by adding another finger.

‘I . . . I think I’m ready,’ I whispered hoarsely, feeling my own body shaking with what was happening to me.

After a few moments more of his probing my depths, he removed his fingers, leaving my hole twitching and overwhelmed by a feeling of emptiness. I felt both hands take hold of my hips, as he pulled my body back towards him. Instinctively I leaned further forward and down, somehow thinking this would provide him with better access, before one of his hands left my hip and checked for the target. I soon felt something hard rest against my pucker, before gently beginning to push forward.

‘Just go slow,’ I whispered.

‘I will,’ he promised before placing both hands back on my hips and applying a little more pressure.

Gradually, I felt my sphincter stretch. It was a different kind of feeling to what I had experienced previously by using the dildos that I had gathered. This was something real that was now entering me, not some silicon effigy of an unknown porn star.

This was Charlie. My lifelong friend was about to invade my arse. This was what I had been yearning for, since forever. My dreams were about to come true.

To be continued . . .