Torrance and the Valley of Thieves.
The smell of hate: A Flash fiction
Lightning strikes overhead, not a cloud in sight to claim the bright effect. The gods are angry again...
Torrance wanders out the barren cave, afraid for his life. His temporal nerves ache, an apprehensive sign of a calamitous future.
Faithful bloodhounds will track his scent soon. Their sense of smell is more reliable than the cycle of the red moon. He must keep moving or surrender his cause to the nefarious hands of Ogden; the law of the land. The stronghold of which, has never been challenged.
Torrance itches to make a bold stance. There is a way to take down Ogden and return the land to its rightful owners. It will require his mounting courage. He must allow his capture in order for the long awaited confrontation to occur.
The sound of hounds getting closer, twists and wrenches his stomach. His freedom ends soon. He grabs his trusty, weathered flask, full of aged mead and empties it down his gullet, creating a satisfying warmth. He is ready.
Lightning sparks rapidly as Torrance is being taken against his will back to the settlement to face Ogden. He does not speak a word as the contemptible ruler berates him for his treasonous insolence.
The time has come to share the gift given to him by his grandfather; the elder's wisdom, he remembers all too well “Listen to me lad, one day, when all seems lost, you will need this. One time only can it be used. You will know when it's time. It was given to me by my own grandfather who died carrying many secrets of the divine magic. Do you understand me?" Although Torrance agreed, he didn't understand his grandfather's words until now.
The gift was encased in an old dusty vial. If you gaze upon it, you will see a tiny light buzzing about like an energetic current begging for release.
"Before you sentence me to the tar pit for my so-called crime, I have one last request!" Torrance states with a smirk. Ogden, a burly man of confidence with abhorrent purposes, rises from his bamboo throne and steps down. He begins to sniff the air as if he notices something different about it.
"I smell deceit coming forth from that traitorous mouth of yours but go on, what is this request?"
Torrance looks him in the eye and says "I present to you, a choice. I want you and every last one of these cowardly bastards to leave Talia at once and never come back...or die here tonight!"
One of the guards begins to chuckle, another joins in. Soon, all fifty of them are laughing uncontrollably, even Ogden. The brightness from lightning begins to flash through the open windows with greater frequency. This entire scene is but a joke to the men. The laughing continues while Ogden turns his back on Torrance, dropping his long leather whip to the floor. He tightens his grip as he readies himself to teach the boy a lesson. Torrance sees this and right as Ogden swiftly raises his right hand while turning to strike, Torrance opens the vial. The buzzing light exits the container with such immense speed that if you were riding it, time would dilate, making everything relative to it move in slow motion. It positions itself in the middle of the room and extends long, thin, white filaments in many directions. Ogden's arm is in full swing but begins slowing down. Green lightning penetrates the top of the grand hut to merge with the thread-like, sparkling webs. As they integrate, time slows down even more until it stops completely. The tip of the curled whip ceases in mid air, just inches from lashing Torrance's face. Everything is frozen for miles except him.
The time spell will last for twenty-three minutes. One minute for every year of his life upon the earth. Torrance walks around the room looking at the selfish men, all are caught in the middle of their hideous laughter. At least they will die laughing, he thinks to himself. He walks out the entrance to look around and sees the entire town succumbing to the green, electrical grid. All the people including the animals and landscape are motionless. Torrance has a lot of work to do...
At the exact time the spell suspends its temporal hold, all the men fall where they stand and clutch their necks, choking on their own blood. Torrance slit their jugulars while they were enchanted and takes their gold. He is nowhere to be found. The innocent and obedient townsfolk come across the dying brood and a note. It reads: Kind people of Talia, Ogden rules no more. This town is clean. Teach your men, women and children how to defend themselves because one day, evil men like the ones who lie here bleeding, will return... place their bodies in Talia’s tar pit where they will sink for eternity. The Gods have spoken. Their judgement is final.
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About the Creator
Lamar Wiggins
Creative writer in the Northeast US who loves the paranormal, mystery, true crime, horror, humor, fantasy and poetry.
"Life is Love Experienced" -LW
LDubs
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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Comments (29)
Positively spellbinding!
Hey my friend! I'm toying with the idea of doing a "good vibes" critique focused on Tone and was wondering if I could include this piece. Is that alright by you?
This is fudging awesome, Lamar! I loved every single word of it. So gripping, so full of pizzaz and great storytelling. I was rooting for Torrance from the get-go. Can see why this got Top Story. Well done and congrats! That ending was so cool!
thank you very much for kindly sharing this interesting article, hope to read more like this one. Regards https://www.militarybarrier.com
This is great writing. I've tweeted, insta'd and threaded. I hope loads of people read it and like it. I don't even usually enjoy flash fiction that much but I was hooked!
OMGOSH! Conan would be so proud!! I love mythological ANYthing and EVERYthing! This is no exception! Love this!!
This is a captivating tale, Lamar! Mythology looks good on you!! 😍 The idea of the 23 minutes of each year of Torrance's life was so cool! Awesome story! 🤗❤️
This is great, Lamar. Congrats on the TS.
EXCELLENT! I love a story of magical comeuppance. Despite its unfortunate place in U.S. history, the only phrase I can say about how happy I am to see Ogdan's defeat is this: Sic semper tyrannis. A fantastic and fantastical story! Thanks for sharing with us :)
🥰
Skillfully done, congrats on the top story
I love mythology. One part of your story I really enjoyed was "The time spell will last for twenty three minutes. One minute for every year of his life upon the earth." This was such a clever way to give the reader bio details about the main character. Congratulations on Top Story!
Congratulations on the Top Story, Lamar!
Congratulations on your Awesome Top Story😉🎉🎉💯
👏✍️ Of course this fabulous tale made Top Story! Congratulations! ✍️👏
So well written.love it
Well novel.this story is very interesting.. amazing story writter.
Man, this is so well written. Great story-telling. I see this as a novel. Well done.
Oh wow, 23 minutes of each year of Torrance's life on Earth! That was so cool! I loved your story so much!
An interesting & engaging tale, Lamar. Wil we see more of Torrance?
Man another great story from you! Fantastic subtle twist on the magic, which paid off nicely.
Wow 😮 this was Awesome 👍 😉💯📝❤️❗
Wait! What?! 😲 Lamar, is this you? I love it all: an old, dusty vial with lightning from the elders; Torrance and Ogden; divine magic. 💜 BTW: you might want to check the paragraph above the vial of lightning for words like "wares" and "no where." Still, this work is outstanding! 👏👏👏
Sup L-Bud - I know you say this is 'fiction' - But you are such a terrific StoryTeller - you outta bop this over to the 'History' section as well it's so believable - So glad that you 'Enjoyed' my 'Cultural Exchange' among all of the book reviews; thought I'd squeeze into that section for once. Lamar your presentations-compositions are so carefully crafted - always a pleasure to read - J-Bud
Whoa! I didn't see that coming. I love the concept, and your word choice and descriptive narrative are perfect for the story. Well done, my friend!