Toast

The Premise

This is another experimental piece just based on the fact that the spoken phrase “Your Toast” can have a few totally different meanings. This piece is meant to illustrate a few of them. I hope it stimulates your grey cells. Shakespearean wordplay it isn’t.

Your Toast

In the morning you get up and decide to make some breakfast, coffee and toast with a butter substitute. That toaster is dodgy, but you can’t be bothered to buy a new one, it has served you well for twenty years and the wire is a bit dodgy, just keep your hands away from the bare copper bits. You know you should really tape them up, but that is always something the procrastinator in you puts off until a more convenient time.

The most important thing is to get your breakfast and pour your coffee. You are posh and grind your coffee beans then pour the ground coffee into the cafetiere but the best cup of coffee, and no landfill waste, just the coffee grounds once you have drunk and enjoyed your hot toast.

Some people say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day but two slices of wholemeal toast with spread and a cup of coffee would need topping up with several snacks during the morning of what was going to be an intense day.

You grab your jacket, make sure your shirt is cleaned and ironed and your tie in straight and then leave the house to go to the presentation.

Your Toast

You get there and have a speech prepared. Champagne flutes are on all the tables and every table is full. They have come to see you give your presentation about something important. You know most of them will ignore every word you say. They are just here for the free food and drink.

You make the presentation an then the glasses are filled and you tell everyone to be quiet as you propose a toast which everyone joins in with, and going through your mind is the fact that this is your second toast of the day so to speak, though this one is not “cooked bread” like your first one was.

You and the guests polish off several bottles of champagne before the event is over and then it is time to hail a taxi to get back to your apartment because there is no way you can be trusted to find your way home in your state.

You're Toast

Back home you let yourself in, and stumble and stagger to the kitchen. You are drunk and hungry, and head for the sink and wash your face and hands, but can’t find a towel, not even a tea towel to dry yourself.

You really can't be bothered, the champagne has given you the munchies, and your stomach is demanding a couple of slices of toast.

You sling a couple of slices in the toaster, switch it on at the mains and your wet hands catch the bare wires and the voltage surges through your hand, and you can't let go, It burns, and the electricity is too much for your drunken body, you hit the floor and then you expire. Now instead of making and eating toast for your supper, literally, you’re toast.

Conclusion

There are probably other ways that the phrase "your toast" or "you're toast" can be used, but I will leave it up to you to suggest others in the comments and I may add them to this story