There's Something Fishy Going On

“Defund the police they say,” all those useless troublemakers who are always protesting over God-knows-what and God-knows-who. I was left sitting here, in this stupid empty room with these stupid uncomfortable chairs and this stupid metal table for so long that I was beginning to agree with them. I swear I even heard one of cops laugh when I filed my complaint. The nerve!

Finally, after what seemed like forever, somebody came in to talk to me. He introduced himself as Officer Tim Collins and I could tell how much he hated his job by the audible groan he let out when he sat down across from me. I’m surprised these cheap metal chairs can hold him.

“Good afternoon, Miss Luney,” he said with a smile, as he wiped the sweat off his brow and placed his writing pad on the table. “What can I help you with today?”

“I already told the officer at the front desk,” I snapped. Officer Collins didn’t respond right away, just sat there adjusting his tie. I could tell by looking at him that he was biting his tongue so hard he was probably choking on it. As if he was the one who had a right to be upset.

I’m not usually this rude, but after being left sitting alone for more than half and hour in a room that stinks of piss and cigarettes and then having to be interviewed by a walrus bathing in a pool of Aqua Velva, could you blame me? I don’t know which was worse.

When he finally spoke, it was to inform me that since he was the officer assigned to my case, it was best that I repeat my complaint to him, from the beginning. So, I did.

“Somebody kidnapped and slaughtered my fish,” I said.

“Where were the fish?” he asked me.

“They were in the aquarium, of course,” I growled, already growing impatient with this questioning. Where else did he think they would be?

“It’s ok, Miss Luney,” he replied calmly, though I could feel his growing impatience, “just start from the beginning.”

I told Officer Collins that he could call me by my first name, Amanda, and accepting that I could call him Tim, I then relayed my complaint.

“A few weeks ago, my little girl began to cry at random times and for no obvious reason. I know it is common for babies to cry, but my little girl is usually incredibly happy and quiet. She was never a whiney baby before then. I had no idea why she was crying so much, so I took her to the doctor.

“After having a thorough checkup and completing multiple tests, the doctor informed me that there were no obvious medical reasons for her change in behaviour and suggested that it may be psychological. He recommended making some changes in her environment or buying her a new toy, thinking that may calm her.

“I went shopping immediately after leaving the doctor’s office and got several new toys and a brand-new bed for her. Nothing seemed to work. She just kept crying and crying, until last Wednesday.”

“What happened last Wednesday?” inquired Officer Collins.

“Well, I was sitting on the couch with her, scrolling through the TV guide until I came across the Aquarium Channel. She perked up immediately. Her eyes widened. She had the biggest smile I had ever seen, and most importantly, she was quiet. I couldn’t believe it! She loved it.

“I left the channel on for her over the next couple of days while I was working, and she never cried once. It was amazing! It worked so well, that I decided on the weekend to buy her a real aquarium.”

“Which you obviously did,” interjected Tim.

“Yes, I got it on Saturday,” I continued. “It’s a five-gallon tank. I got some pebbles, added some rocks, a few plastic trees, and other decorations. Then I filled it with water and added the fish. My little girl loved it. She sat looking at the aquarium all day. I was thrilled to see her so content, and I was finally able to get some work done without constantly being interrupted by her crying.”

“And what happened today, Amanda,” asked Officer Collins.

“I was sitting in my home office, working on a presentation for the staff meeting next week, when I heard a loud crash and the most horrifying scream I’d ever heard from my baby. I ran out of the office to the living room and that’s when I saw it.

“The tank was smashed on the floor, and most of the fish were missing. I had purchased twelve fish in total, but there were only four left, and most of those poor little creatures had their heads torn off. I found one still alive and flopping on the floor, which I immediately picked it up and put in a bowl of water before searching for my little girl.”

“Your daughter wasn’t there?” the officer queried.

“My little girl wasn’t there, no. I wasn’t worried because I knew she was safe, and probably just hiding somewhere. I found her in the bedroom. She was terrified and covered in water.”

“Covered in water?” questioned Tim. “Do you think it’s possible that your little girl is the one who broke the tank, by accident I mean?”

I told the officer that wasn’t possible. The tank is too high on the stand for her to reach. Besides, she loved those fish. I could tell how upset she was when I found her under the bed.

“Under the bed?” Officer Collins interrupted.

“Yes,” I answered. “When my little girl is afraid, she hides under the bed.”

Officer Collins then asked me what I thought happened, and how the tank got destroyed. Something in the way he was looking at me made me feel uncomfortable, like he didn’t believe me. Buy why would I lie? I told him that someone broke in while I was working in the other room.

“I had left the inside door open on the front; just the screen door was closed. It’s a safe neighborhood with very little crime so I didn’t think it would be a problem. I’ve done it many times before, with no issues.

“After I heard the crash and saved the one remaining fish, I ran to the door and saw a man running down the street, a man I had never seen before. I think it may have been him.”

“What gave you that impression, Amanda,” inquired the officer.

“Because I’ve never seen him before,” I answered. I explained to the officer that I’ve lived in that neighborhood for four years, and I know pretty much everybody.

“So, you don’t think he may have just been a jogger?” asked Officer Collins. “And you’re sure it wasn’t your little girl?

“Just for curiosity’s sake, Miss Luney; how old is your little girl?”

I didn’t understand the relevance of his question, which I let be known, but I informed the officer that my little girl is seven years old.

“It’s just that a seven-year-old girl pulling the tank over while you were in the other room is the most likely scenario,” Officer Collins responded. “I’m not accusing her, just saying it’s most likely. And obviously, if that’s the case, if would have been an accident. Are you sure it wasn’t your little girl, Miss Luney?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” I flatly told him. “She’s too small to have done it,” I’m not sure if he could tell, but I was becoming increasingly exasperated with the stupid questions.

“But you said she was seven,” he stated. He sounded like he was becoming as frustrated as I was, but I don’t know why.

“She is seven! But she’s only twelve pounds,” I barked back at him.

“Excuse me?” questioned the startled and befuddled officer, who was genuinely beginning to look like he was wondering if his lifelong dream of being a police officer was even worth it anymore.

“Do you have a picture of your little girl?” he asked.

“Obviously,” I told him. I course I have pictures. I have many, many pictures. I asked if he would like to see one.

Officer Collins responded that he would indeed like to see a picture of my little girl. I pulled up one of my favourites on my phone and passed it to him across the table. I could tell by the smile on his face and length of time he held the phone that he was almost as smitten with my little girl as I was.

When he was done admiring her picture, Officer Collins laid the phone down on the table, rose from his seat, and left the room. As he walked through the door, I heard him mumble something about catching the “moron.” At least, I think that’s what he said.

So, once again, I sit here in this room and wait for the officer to come in and talk to me. I’m not sure how long it’s been since he left, but hopefully when he returns, he’ll tell me they arrested the perpetrator. Meanwhile, since I still have my phone with me, I can pass the time by admiring all the pictures I have of my sweet little girl.