There’s Something Fishy About This Story

Officer Tim Collins groaned audibly over the ridiculousness of the new case he had just been assigned. Why did he always have to get the wingnuts, he wondered as he slowly strolled toward the interview room, still hoping his sergeant would change his mind and hand if off to someone else.

“Who the hell kidnaps a fish?” he wondered aloud before walking through the door to meet the complainant.

“Good afternoon, Miss Luney,” he said; smiling to himself at how perfectly her name suited her personality.

After introducing himself to the clearly distressed woman, Officer Collins took his seat across from her, and requested that she fill him in on the happenings of the day.

“Somebody kidnapped and slaughtered my fish,” came the reply.

“Where were the fish?” Tim managed to mumble while choking back the blood pooling in his mouth from near biting off the tip of his tongue.

“They were in the aquarium, of course,” snapped the complainant, already growing impatient with the questioning.

“It’s ok, Miss Luney,” Office Collins replied calmly, trying to hide his own growing impatience. “Just start from the beginning.”

After insisting the officer call her by her first name, Amanda, and accepting that she could call him Tim, the complainant relayed her story of the destroyed aquarium and the mutilated and missing fish.

“A few weeks ago, my little girl began to cry at random times and for no obvious reason. I know it is common for babies to cry, but my little girl is usually incredibly happy and quiet. She was never a whiney baby before then. I had no idea why she was crying so much, so I took her to the doctor.

"After having a thorough checkup and completing multiple tests, the doctor informed me that there was no obvious medical reason for her change in behaviour and suggested that it may be psychological. He recommended making some changes in her environment or buying her a new toy, thinking that may calm her.

"I went shopping immediately after leaving the doctor’s office and got several new toys and a brand-new bed for her. Nothing seemed to work. She just kept crying and crying, until last Wednesday.”

“What happened last Wednesday?” inquired Officer Collins.

“Well, I was sitting on the couch with her, scrolling through the TV guide until I came across the Aquarium Channel. She perked up immediately. Her eyes widened. She had the biggest smile I had ever seen, and most importantly, she was quiet. I couldn’t believe it! She loved it.

“I left the channel on for her over the next couple of days while I was working, and she never cried once. It was amazing! It worked so well, that I decided on the weekend to buy her a real aquarium.”

“Which you obviously did,” interjected Tim.

“Yes, I got it on Saturday,” Amanda continued. “It’s a five-gallon tank. I got some pebbles, added some rocks, a few plastic trees, and other decorations. Then I filled it with water and added the fish. My little girl loved it. She sat looking at the aquarium all day. I was thrilled to see her so content, and I was finally able to get some work done without constantly being interrupted by her crying.”

“And what happened today, Amanda,” asked Officer Collins.

“I was sitting in my home office, working on a presentation for the staff meeting next week, when I heard a loud crash and the most horrifying scream I’d ever heard from my baby. I ran out of the office to the living room and that’s when I saw it.

“The tank was smashed on the floor, and most of the fish were missing. I had purchased twelve fish in total, but there were only four left, and most of those poor little creatures had their heads torn off. I found one still alive and flopping on the floor, which I immediately picked up and put in a bowl of water before searching for my little girl.”

“Your daughter wasn’t there?” the officer queried.

“My little girl wasn’t there, no. I wasn’t worried because I knew she was safe, and probably just hiding somewhere. I found her in the bedroom. She was terrified and covered in water.”

“Covered in water?” questioned Tim. “Do you think it’s possible that your little girl is the one who broke the tank, by accident I mean?”

“No, I don’t think so,” replied Amanda. The tank is too high on the stand for her to reach. Besides, she loved those fish. I could tell how upset she was when I found her under the bed.”

“Under the bed,” Tim interrupted.

“Yes,” she answered. “When my little girl is afraid, she hides under the bed.”

Officer Collins, despite becoming increasing convinced that this complainant was completely out to lunch, questioned her as to what she thought may have happened and how the tank got destroyed.

“I think someone broke in while I was working in the other room,” was her reply.

“I had left the inside door open on the front; just the screen door was closed. It’s a safe neighborhood with very little crime so I didn’t think it would be a problem. I’ve done it many times before, with no issues.

“After I heard the crash and saved the one remaining fish, I ran to the door and saw a man running down the street, a man I had never seen before. I think it may have been him.”

“What gave you that impression, Amanda,” inquired the officer.

“Because I’ve never seen him before. I’ve lived in that neighborhood for four years, and I know pretty much everybody.”

“So, you don’t think he may have just been a jogger?” asked Officer Collins. “And you're sure it wasn’t your little girl?

“Just for curiosity’s sake, Miss Luney; how old is your little girl?”

Amanda informed Tim that her little girl was seven years old and questioned why that mattered.

“It’s just that a seven-year-old girl pulling the tank over while you were in the other room is the most likely scenario,” Tim responded. “I’m not accusing her, just saying it’s most likely. And obviously, if that’s the case, it would have been an accident. Are you sure it wasn’t your little girl, Miss Luney?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” insisted Amanda. “She’s too small to have done it.”

“But you said she was seven,” the exasperated officer responded.

“She is! But she’s only twelve pounds,” Amanda barked.

“Excuse me?” questioned the startled and befuddled Tim, who was genuinely beginning to wonder if his lifelong dream of being a police officer was even worth it anymore.

“Do you have a picture of your little girl?” he asked.

“I have many,” replied Amanda. Would you like to see one?”

Officer Collins responded that he would indeed like to see a picture of the complainant’s little girl and reached his hand across the table to receive the phone she was passing him.

He stared at the picture for a long few seconds; his forced smile convincing his interviewee that he was just as smitten with her baby as she was. Officer Collins laid the phone down on the table, rose from his seat, and left the room without uttering a word. He had no words.

Amanda sat, staring at the still open picture on her phone, gushing over her little girl while waiting for the officer to return. She would be waiting a long, long time.

The end