There, Not Back

Day One

“Forty five seconds until launch sequence commences” These were the words transmitted to everyone's cellular implants on January 14th, 2093. You see earth was dying at this time, all throughout my life I remember hearing scientists say the earth would be unable to sustain life after 2080 so you can say we were living on borrowed time. But now we must say goodbye to the earth. Breakthroughs in science have recently allowed humans to alter the atmosphere of Mars making it habitable for humans so we are being shuttled in a series of spaceships and my girlfriend found ourselves in the last group leaving earth, our breaths would be the final breaths of oxygen taken from the ever dwindling supply on this overused piece of rock. Elsie, my girlfriend, had to ride in a special shuttle because of her health concerns. This forty five second warning snapped us out of our warm goodbye hug. As we pulled away Elsie removed the heart shaped locket I gifted her years ago and took a picture of us out of the compartment. She handed the picture to me and said “You've had my heart since the day I met you, make sure to give it back to me up there yea?” to which I replied clutching the picture next to my own heart “Couldn’t stop me if ya wanted” and finished it off with a wink. Now I am in my shuttle waiting to blast off I suppose, this will be my first time in outer space so I am a bit nervous. So I just stare out the window at the medical shuttle that carries Elsie to our new world much like a mother carries her young to their new world.

Day Three

The journey has been pretty dull honestly. The launch was exciting and scary and leaving Earth’s atmosphere was certainly a feeling I will never forget. Since then I have just essentially been sitting in a room with about twenty people I have never met before. Shuttle assignment was based on age, health factors and a bunch of other bullshit I didn’t pay attention to. I do remember hearing it would take about six months to get to Mars, I suppose I will just watch movies and listen to audiobooks until we get to Mars, until I can get back to Elsie, to give her her heart back.

Day Five

I remember when I was a kid I used to watch all these old movies about these great journeys brave heroes would have. My Grandpa used to watch them with me and tell me about these big buildings where strangers used to come together and watch movies together, how peculiar. I guess this is my big adventure, a journey there, not back.

Day Seven

After being in space for a week I have a new respect for astronauts, especially those ones that stay on the big space station for months at a time. The hardest thing is the lack of days and nights, could cause a person to lose their minds up here. I find myself wondering about Elsie more and more, I hope she is okay. The other people on my deck talk often about their fears and anxiety over life on Mars. I personally don’t fear what's to come next, only getting there. Once I see Elsie and give her heart back everything will be fine. These other people fear Mars because they fear the unknown, but as long as I have the certainty of Elsie’s love no amount of questions can ever get me down.

Day Nine

Something bad happened today, although that seems a bit like calling a mountain a molehill. We went through a meteor shower today that severely damaged our shuttle's solar panels. We only have enough power to run the thrusters or run the life support system. So we can either fly a shuttle of corpses to Mars to float through space indefinitely. Understandably people began to lose it and I think I might have been among them if I didn’t still have Elsie’s heart to give back. While everyone on my deck was losing their minds I had my eyes trained on Elsies ship as it got smaller and smaller and then faded into the light of the distant stars. “Hope you're okay Els, might be a little late giving that heart back unfortunately”.

Day Forty Six

I’ve begun drawing to pass the time because we no longer have power for movies or anything. Each day less and less people wake up. It is easy to see that we are far closer to the Earth than Mars and if we are making any progress it is negligible. Now the scientists are saying we just need to wait for people to get settled on Mars and then a rescue operation will surely come. I am not too sure about that but I will wait, I will wait until time ends as long as I have a chance to see Elsie again, besides I have to return her heart.

Day Two Hundred and Eighty Six

The regular shuttles should have landed on Mars a little over three months ago. There has been no sign of an attempt to rescue or even contact us which has taken its toll on the scientists and passengers alike. We began this journey with over eighty people spread out among the six decks, now my deck has only three people other than me. I hope Elsie is doing okay without her heart. I may not be able to do much in my current state but I’ll be sure to hang on long enough to make sure she gets her heart, even if I never see her again.

Day Five Hundred and Three

The earth looks so small from up here. It is hard to believe that everything that has ever happened to me or anyone I have ever known has happened on that little ball of water. And now none of us will ever take another step on it again. A Journey there not back huh? Looks like I might not even make it there.

Day One Thousand

Today marks the thousandth day I’ve spent in space. Right now it's just an older gentleman named Craig, a scientist named Marie, a young lady that goes by Bee, and myself. I do not know whether we are the most sane for having lasted this long or whether we are the most dimwitted for actually believing we could have anything but a slow death in space. Are those that fell before me cowards or merely more efficient with their suffering? Will we see the other side of this seemingly endless tunnel, or are we simply prolonging the inevitable?

Day Two Thousand Three Hundred Something

Elsie. Heart. I will return Elsie’s heart.

Day Five Thousand Four Hundred and Twenty Four

We had two options when shit hit the fan, we went with heads. Well now it’s only me and Elsie’s heart here to make the decision and we say tails. This will be my last entry. Goodbye

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Day ???

Elsie here, your ship crashed down on Mars thirty four years after my ship touched down. A box with my name on it was found and brought to me, this notebook was in the box. I never stopped missing you, and I never stopped waiting for you. You would have liked it here, it’s cold which is your favorite and there's a lot less traffic which is your least favorite. I wish I could hold you one last time, I guess now you’ll have to wait for me on the other side of this tunnel.Thanks for keeping my heart safe for all of those years, it feels good to have it back.