The Tallest Guests

They had been in orbit for a day when they announced their intentions:

To the most beloved host of BioPlanet 68813.

Be prepared to receive us 3 days hence.

We look forward to your greatest gift.

Every person worldwide was still reeling in shock. The giant spacecraft had appeared suddenly 24 hours earlier. Gargantuan in size, it appeared in the sky as if painted on the moon, seeming to cover a full third of its surface. To the awed citizens below, it was only recognizable as a dull edged black triangle.

The militaries of the world were naturally at their highest level of alert. Contingencies were being considered. Plans that had been long envisioned were dusted off and put in motion. Every soldier, pilot, astronaut and seaman - Every Admiral every General and every grunt thought the same unthinkable thought: We may go to war with a race from beyond this earth.

Panic and riots had already broken out in most major cities. World leaders were invoking messages of calm, while preparing to hide in the safety of their bunkers. But what to think now, after receiving this first contact with beings from another planet?

Russia, China and the United States all assumed the message was meant specifically for each respective country, and were intending to act accordingly. The American president, after conferring with top government scientists, addressed the nation:

"After a century of war, the United States, as the greatest beacon of peace, freedom and democracy in the history of the world, is once again preparing to defend our great planet from tyranny, but this time, the enemy is unknown. What they are after, we can only guess. Until these visitors make their intentions more clear, we have no choice but to take this communication as a possible threat. In the words of George Washington: "To be prepared for war is one of the most effective means of preserving peace."

Walter Hansard sat snug in the comfort of the old flower patterned chesterfield in his living room, watching The President with interest. "Well ain't that a son of a gun. Alma, why aren't you in here watching this?" "Walter, if there's one thing I know, it's best to let others worry about what they're bothering about, and things will work out just fine. 'sides Saturday is coming up fast, and these mason jars aren't going to fill themselves." she replied sweetly. "What I wanna know, is how in the hell do they know they have bad intentions? If they was gonna attack, I reckon they would just attack. And that would be that. Just like in the jungle. At night with no warning like. And how many jars are we talking about?" he asked with a hint of consternation.

The head rooster woke up the Hansards, their six cats, and Felix the crusty black lab, at five-thirty-nine sharp Saturday morning. Today was the day of the Hansards Midsummer Extravaganza, and there was much to be done. In a few hours, the Hansards five children would arrive, along with fourteen grandchildren and five great grandchildren. Not long after, hundreds from around the county, friends and family alike, would descend on the fifteen acre strawberry farm.

The Extravaganza was the summer party, famous for the gigantic pig that got roasted each year. The young people of the county were most excited for the dance that happened in the Hansards giant old rickety barn. The barn was the oldest thing remaining on the farm, but Walter didn't have the heart to tear it down despite its decrepit state. It was built in 1905, and Walter always maintained "if it can last through war and depression and crisis I ain't gonna tear it down on a whim."

This years Extravaganza was turning out to be the best ever. Walter and Alma stood together arm in arm and surveyed the scene as the sun set and the triangle blotted moon, now completely full, took over the night sky. "Well Alma, I think this has once again been a big success thanks to you. Do we have any jars of jam left for us? You gave so many away I think I might have to declare bankruptcy!" Walter joked.

"I have one box of 24 left. I was saving that for the pantry don't you worry."

The look of relief on Walters chiseled, wizened old face quickly turned to one of confusion, as he watched his faithful old Felix look up into the sky, as it barked furiously. The lights in the barn flickered a few times along with the music, and suddenly went dead. All was quiet except the cranky dog and the hum of the glowing triangle, that flashed from nowhere in the blink of an eye and now hovered, directly over the barn.

The young folks, mostly drunk, stumbled out of the barn in trance like awe, to investigate the strangest noise they had ever heard, and the brightest warmest red glow they had ever seen. It was just as well. The barn started vibrating in unison with the hum, here and there a nail and bolt could be seen flying off the structure, and before Walter could say "I'll be damned" the beautiful old barn collapsed before his eyes. Everyone watched, some in shock, some in horror, and a few brave souls in wonder as an opening appeared underneath the red glowing craft.

A perfectly circular platform floated down from the opening, carrying two late party guests. They were at least twelve feet tall. They were naked from head to toe, humanoid in shape, but with grey scaly skin, and oversized round heads set with huge black eyes. "Just like in the movies." Alma whispered quietly. One of the pair carried what looked like a huge black pill shaped container. When the platform made it just above what used to be the barns weather vane it stopped, and the identical pale pair stepped off in a very slow, graceful fashion. In just 5 long legged strides they stood before a strangely calm, and smiling Alma. "How y'all doing?" she said. The grey giants did not speak, but the one carrying the pillbox sent his thoughts directly into her head:

"Alma Hansard. We bring you gifts and greetings. We have been monitoring the communications on your planet for some time. Every thought, every utterance, every emotion is known to us. Of all the souls on this world. We have determined that the Hansard Midsummer Extravaganza is the singular most genuinely popular event on Earth. And your strawberry jam is the finest, rarest of delicacies on all of the known worlds. We have come to trade."

"Well gentleman, or ladies, it turns out I have one box left. Would y'all like that?"

"That would be very kind, thank you. We have no gender Mrs. Hansard. I hope this will suffice in return?"

The friendly alien visitor opened the large chest to reveal an inconceivable amount of lustrously beautiful palladium.

Walter peered inside and said, "I reckon we can get a new barn built with this."