The Silent Observer
A Story Every Day in 2024 Nov 17th 322/366
Bethan had no time to react. It was so sudden, she fell backwards. Dave's shove had power and had she been at the edge as he had been moments before, she would have plummeted.
As it was, she was knocked down and terrified. She was lucky not to have hit her head as the ground was littered with small rocks, some sharp, piercing the air like tiny pyramids in a gravel bed.
But she had no time to recover as Dave was coming at her and on his face was a fury, a determination, a madness that she never knew was contained within him.
She tried to scramble away, to her feet but he was on her, and his weight and his hands on her throat were so real and so constricting that she almost lost her strength to fight. But she bucked and grabbed at his hands, using her nails to penetrate his flesh. Her breath...it was hard...to get air...to fight...
His face in hers, teeth gritted, savage.
Bethan was losing consciousness, shrinking, slowly, away. Gagging...
Just before she blacked out, she saw a darting figure, heard a crack, followed by an "Oof" of expelled air before a heavy weight engulfed her, crushing her, the realisation that her windpipe was no longer constricted not yet realised by her brain.
*
When Bethan came to, she was unhindered. Her throat burned and her eyes smarted but she was alive.
She went to sit up and someone said, "You shouldn't move yet. Just stay still."
Bethan did as she was told, still bewildered by her situation, the pain, the violence. The figure came over to her and took off their coat and placed it over Bethan.
"Are you okay?" they asked.
Bethan tried to speak but it was raw. How could your voice be bruised?
"Don't speak. Nod if you can."
Bethan managed to move her head, her mind racing. Dave tried to kill her! Shit! Someone saved her! Who? She thought of Boo Radley.
Thank goodness! Tears spilled from her, her relief palpable. She trembled, shock making itself known.
But who was her rescuer? It hurt to talk but need was stronger:
"Who are you?"
***
366 words
This is dedicated to Caroline Craven. "Oof!"
Dave shows his colours. No great surprise there. Any guesses as to who it is?
This started here:
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Contemplation
Bethan tried to still her shaking hands. Dave stared off, meditatively, still. He was right on the edge. Dave It all comes back to here. I should've known that it would catch up with me eventually. But so many years passed and the veil was never lifted...
By Rachel Deemingabout a year ago in Fiction
Comments (14)
“I’m not a murderer” he thinks before literally trying to kill his ex-wife. Man, the hoops some people jump through the make their craziness make sense.
True colors on full display for Dave in this! Fantastic suspense writing, Rachel!
Next! You have a way of keeping microfiction active and compelling. Am waiting to see who Bethan's rescuer is, and to know what happened to the errant Dave!
I also reckon it’s Luke… coincidental crossing of paths at the car park & not trusting the look of Dave… or a random hiker who was suspicious of the dynamics between Bethan & Dave, in the deserted setting.
I agree with Lana, but how’s on earth did Luke get there? Did Katie call him?
Haha! I do love a good “oof” - I feel like this is more of a “bloody hell” moment though! Can’t wait to find out who the watcher is? Dave’s current wife?
Luke, me thinks. Unless there’s someone completely new who knew of the story and was curious enough to follow Bethan.
Hmmm. So then, it's not Katie anferall. 🤔
I'm not going to guess, I'll let you surprise me.
The neighbor in "Home Alone" would be another example of a Boo Radley type of figure. At the end of the last story, I wondered if Dave might just cast himself off the cliff, because you didn't say which way he lunged; but, of course, he's too selfish even for that. To always live one's life surreptitiously at other people's expense seems a sad way to go to me. Well-wrought, Rachel!
oooo this is getting very exciting! Love the way you built up the tension. And damn Dave.
Wow! You drew me in right away! I hope there is a follow up. Who are you”they”? Great job!
Wow, what a suspenseful build-up Rachel!👏🏼💕 I held my breath reading, hoping Bethan made it through that horrible attack!
Whooooooooooooo areeeeeee theyyyyyyyy???? Oh God, can't believe I gotta wait 24 hours to find that out! That too if you choose to reveal it in the next part 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🥺🥺