The Rock House

Working 2 jobs just to pay rent, and what I didn’t spend on rent went for electricity, gas and insurance. It was a never ending circle with no end in sight. One day I woke up and that was it. I collected my final paychecks, gave away all my furniture and personal belongings, keeping only my bed, a few dishes and a couple basic things I would need. Closed all my accounts, basically my life as I knew it and I disappeared. On paper I no longer existed. Such a relief came over me, I felt like I could breathe, I mean really breathe and I haven’t had that feeling in a long time.

Over the next few days, I gathered what I had left of my personal belongings and packed my car. Saying goodbye to my family and friends was hard. Most said they understood, a couple said they were jealous, while the select few that were left thought I was being selfish for wanting this. I understand what they are saying, but I also feel that I do not need to explain my decisions to anyone; I am doing this for me, not them. If I want to continue to live, and I mean truly live I need to do this. It’s hard to explain to people that I feel like I have been drowning. Never going anywhere except to work, because if I didn’t work I can’t pay my bills. Always feeling tired from working two jobs. Having that feeling of loneliness, and thinking this is all I’ll ever have, the feeling of nothing, no matter how much I tried or worked. This move is for me.

Today I locked my apartment for the last time, and got in my car. I drove a couple of blocks to the gas station, pumped some gas, and went in and bought a map. I remember thinking as I laid the map across the hood of my car about where I wanted to go. I hadn’t really thought about it, I just needed to go. I closed my eyes, pointed my finger at the map and just like that I made the first real life decision I had made in a long time, and it felt great! I could feel my heart pounding as I slowly opened my eyes. As I looked at the map, a relief came over me to know that I would be living in Montana.

Looking further at the map I realized it would take me around three days to get to Montana. Not sure where I will end up at once I get there but it looks like what I am looking for. Lots of mountain ranges, means lots of places where one can get lost in the land. That’s what I want to do, be in the mountains, far away from everyone, live off the land, get back to nature and figure out me. I am so excited to start my new life journey. Got in my car and started driving towards my new adventure in life.

I arrived in Billings, Montana three days later. Everything is beautiful here, the air is so fresh, and the sky and the stars are so relaxing. I’m staying in a small hotel on the outskirts of Billings. Nothing fancy, but then I’m not a fancy girl. After being here a couple of days I found out the couple who own it are an older couple and their son, named Michael. He’s around my age. Six foot two, dark hair, and the brownest eyes I have ever seen, I could see myself getting lost in them.

Over breakfast I was sitting with the owners, explaining why I was here and my hopes and dreams. It was then that they told me they own property about two hours away in the mountains. It has a lake with streams that are great for fishing and lots of wildlife. It sounds so perfect, and the best part is they are willing to let me live on their land for free, only asking that I respect it, take care of it, and if I am ever out this way again to go see them. The property has a small cabin, with a wood burning stove, that they visit a couple of times a year. They said I can stay in it until I find what I am looking for. These people are so nice, to help me, a stranger. Maybe they are getting the vibe that I need this. Or maybe they are thinking they will get a future daughter in law out of the deal. No matter what the reason I will never be able to repay them.

My plan was to leave after breakfast. It was then they told me they were going to have Michael drive out, in his truck and I could follow him, to make sure I could find it. They just wanted to make sure I was settled in and taken care of before night fall. It sounded harmless to me. Once on the road, it took just over two hours to get there. As I pulled up to the cabin, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The view of the mountains, the smell in the air, the sounds of the water, I found myself crying. Not tearing up, not water in the eyes, but full fledged crying. Thank goodness Michael understood, he actually told me that it happens a lot to people when they first see the view. If only, he knew the whole truth, and how much something as simple as this view is going to save me.

Michael showed me where the wood is kept. There was not a lot, but enough to get me started. I will need to get more wood later. He showed me the path down to the water’s edge, and some of the area around the cabin. I told him I am only planning on staying in the cabin till I find what I am looking for. Everything is so beautiful. We walked for a little longer and then it was time for Michael to leave. I walked with him back to his truck and thanked him for everything his parents and he have done for me.

As Michael drove off I sat on a large rock and just took in the scenery and sounds, I felt a relief come over me. After going inside to look around and become familiar with the cabin, I still had that feeling something was missing, but I just chalked it up to the long drive. Tomorrow I will go out and explore my new surroundings.

I do not remember the last time I had such a restful sleep, or woke up without the weight of the world on my shoulders. No headache, no pain in my neck and back, it’s going to be a great day!

I decided to go out and explore my new life. The view walking down to the water was fantastic, everything so fresh, and new. The smells, I love the smell of water. I saw fish jumping in and out of the water, frogs along the water’s edge, and some wild ducks swimming freely along as if they don’t have a care in the world. They will all make excellent food resources. The area has an abundance of cattails better known as the “wetland supermarket”, because there are so many uses for them, both edible and non-editable.

I continued on around the bend of the water, which opened up to a wide field. Oh, my breath, it’s beautiful, as far as the eyes can see nothing but beautiful marigolds. It’s a perfect postcard picture. Thank goodness this land has taken the time to add Marigolds to its beautiful palette. There are miles and miles of marigolds. Not only do I love marigolds, but they are an excellent resource. As I walked over towards the fields the smell was so intoxicating, I just stood there taking it all in. Soon I sat down; then, I lay down, on my own little bed made of the softest marigold patch ever. I must have still been tired because when I woke up the sun was setting, and all the night sounds of the water and mountains were coming out. It’s so relaxing, so peaceful and so mine all mine! I got up picked a bunch of marigolds and headed back to the cabin, tomorrow I will do some more exploring. The marigolds lit up the cabin with the most intriguing smell. That small bunch of flowers brought me so much joy and happiness, just having them in the cabin.

Today I walked back down to the water. I am so amazed by the sights and sounds, I feel as if I cannot get enough. That’s OK, I know winter will be here in a few months and it will all be gone, so I am going to make the most of it for now. I walked past the field of marigolds today to a small wooded area. As I walked through into the bushes and trees I stopped there in front of me were bushes full of berries such as huckleberries, blackberries and bear berries. I brought nothing with me to gather them. I really need to get in the frame of mind I live in the mountains now and need to start going on walks fully prepared. As I stood looking around for something to put my find in, I realized what I needed to do. Don’t know why I looked around to make sure I was alone; guess it was out of habit. I took off my shirt so I could carry back some berries. What’s the big deal, so I walk through the trees and field only in my bra; it’s no different than a bikini top. I filled my shirt as full as I could without smashing the berries, eating a few as I picked them; they were so sweet and good. I headed back to the cabin. I put the berries on the table and headed down to the water to try my luck at fishing. My pole was in the water for hours, without a bite. As I walk back to the cabin for the night I spotted a nest and in it was three duck eggs in it, what a great find and a great meal this will make. I need to enjoy this now, as I am sure it is only a matter of time till the ducks leave for the winter.

I have been here for a few weeks now. The days are starting to get shorter, which is a sign winter is going to be coming soon. I have also found some wild mustard, pea shrubs, mushrooms, wild onions, and sunflowers. Not to mention the nuts that grows wild in this area. I have even been able to catch some fish. The lake and streams have provided me with catfish, salmon, trout and minnows. There is such an abundance of food. I have had the luxury of being able to freeze my fish and other food, and finding ways to store my other food. By the time next winter comes I will have been here long enough to figure out other methods of gathering and keeping the food I find. After all I won’t have the luxury of a refrigerator and freezer; they belong to the cabin, and not my rock house. The marigolds have truly been a life saver. I not only am able to eat the flowers, but I boil them for marigold tea, or set them out in the jar to make marigold sun tea, which is the best on the planet, not sure how I ever survived without it. The tea is great for heartburn, coughs, reflux or gas. It’s nature’s own little medicine chest. I rub the marigolds on my feet, hands, elbows, and lips, it truly works magic.

Today I walked in an area I have never been before. It’s about one third mile from the cabin. I was following a small stream when I soon heard a lot of water. As I went around the curve of the stream I saw the most wonderful small waterfall. I took off my jeans and shirt and entered the waterfall in only my bra and panties. The water was so refreshing, it was a little chilly, but I don’t mind, what a great feeling it was. As I stood under the waterfall looking around I spotted what looked like a rather large rock formation. I got out, got dressed and headed that way. As I got closer I noticed there were about six rocks made to look like stairs. I walked up them and into the rock formation. As I stood in the center of the rocks, I counted nine very large rocks almost in a complete circle. I stood straight up in the middle of the rocks and still had plenty of head room. On top there were three more rocks, almost enclosing them, as if to make a roof. I walked around the rocks and went on top to see what was up there. Everything was good; there was a great view of the area and best of all I could see another marigold field close to the area where I was. How fantastic is that, considering that marigolds have come to be my number one staple in life. I started putting my plan into place. Soon I was carrying rocks into the center of the rocks. I had moved around sixty rocks when I realized how tired I was, and headed back to the cabin. As I walked into the cabin I immediately headed for the bed and lay down, not waking till morning.

This is the day I am going back to my rocks. Once at the rocks, I take the smaller rocks, and form a stove top and underneath a fire place. I have the rocks go up to the top of the other rocks and out the top, where there is a small opening. This is making a chimney so the smoke will go out of the rocks but allow the heat to stay in. I take mud and seal it around all the rocks; this is nature’s own form of cement. Once I am done, I headed back to the waterfall and got in.

Checking on my chimney I am happy with it. Everything has set up and should work wonderfully. I have decided I better make one more fireplace with a chimney before I seal up the cracks around the remaining rocks. Montana is so close to Canada, I am sure the winters get really cold here, so having two fireplaces should definitely help keep me warm in the winter months. After I finished the other fireplace I gathered some more mud and began to seal all the areas in, between and around the big rocks to form solid walls. Winter is almost here and I cannot take a chance on wind, snow or the cold coming into the rocks. The only thing I will need now is a door. I will need to make a door. Tomorrow I will find some sticks, and begin my plans for a door.

The door has become more of an issue, than a plan. I have never actually made a door before. I have watched television shows where people in survival situations whip out a door and it never looks this hard. I may have to come up with a plan B, for a door. I know I will need something. I have seen a couple of bears, a few skunks and I am sure there are other animals here, that I do not want coming in. What to do, what to do? I think better when I move around. So I decided to walk the other way, maybe there’s something in that direction that I can use. I had not walked very far when I realized I was on what looks like a road. I followed it and low and behold it came out to the cabin. Wow, this is a great find. I can drive my car to the rocks, and I will not have to carry my belongings. As I went into the cabin, I took a long hard look at the door. Why is this so hard? I know I am not a carpenter, but this is not rocket science, it’s a door. The longer it takes me to figure it out the longer I will have to stay in the cabin. There are still a couple of hours till sunset so I decided to walk down to my marigold field. Maybe the marigolds or the smell will clear my head and help me come up with a new plan for the door.

Marigolds always seem to relax me. If I had a bathtub I know I would definitely use the petals to soak in, but for now I can only dream. As I sat there in the middle of my marigold patch I thought about my rock house, other plans I would like to do, but nothing about the door. Guess I will need to sleep on it.

I did not sleep very much last night thinking about the door. However I decided to start gathering all the firewood I could. The entire back area of my rock house is going to be where I need to keep my wood, and I will need plenty of it. I spent the next few days gathering wood not only at my rock house, but for the cabin. I figured if something happened and I needed to go back to the cabin I would be covered, and if not then the wood would be there if the owners came to visit. While gathering wood I decided to take fishing line and use it to secure my wood pieces together to make a door. I took the big pieces of wood over to my rock house and decided I would put them together. I gathered everything I needed and began tying them together with the fishing line. It made for a long tiring day, but I figured it would be worth it when I finished. I then took some more mud and sealed the cracks on the door between the wood pieces to help keep out the wind, snow and animals. And it was, worth it, I now have a strong door that I am confident will withstand the winter months which are so close by.

I then took some more fishing line and strung it across an area in the rock house where I hang things for drying, such as marigolds, other food, or my clothes during the winter months. It’s all starting to come together now. I quickly walked back down to the cabin, loaded my things in my car and drove back up to my rock house. I am able to drive my car almost right up to the rock house. I got out and put a couple of rocks under the tires to keep the car from moving. Then I started to unloaded everything. The only piece of furniture I have is my bed, but that’s OK, I’m happy with that, I will figure out things as I go along. Going back out I covered my car with one of the tarps I brought with me, to help protect it. I then went back into my rock house, and as I closed the door, I said the words,

“Welcome Home”.